Dealing with my son’s girlfriend

[Miss Chicken]

Do you guys think it is OK for me to ignore my son’s girlfriend view of things rather than argue with her? So far she has rattled off the following

Anti-vaccine beliefs
The 5G conspiracy
Wondering if what we saw in the sky was a chemtrail or a contrail

today she told I was not spiritual because I drank tap water. She said that fluoride in the water destroys the spiritual centre of the brain.

She also went on about how there is no law in the USA to allow the government to collect taxes. I am not sure why she is worried about this as 1) she is an Australian 2) she does currently pay taxes even in Australia (except GST). I am also certain that she has never read the US Constitution ie the 16th Amendment.

She went on about how stupid and rude Tasmanians are (she’s originally from from Queensland) but I think it might just be that Tasmanians are calling her out on all this bullshit. She hates living in Tasmania and today complained that the sun is too hot in Tasmania.

So I am asking my fellow Trekbbsers - how to you personally deal with people who believe in conspiracy theories, whether they are family, people at your work etc.

 

[NCC-73515]

I avoid them when not part of the family. And with the one person in the family who has strong political opinions against minorities, we just avoid the topic, cause we can't easily avoid the person.
So it it were my son, it would be hard, but since she's not related to you and 'just' your son's girlfriend, I'd say you don't have to deal with her at all. If he's unhappy with that and wants the two of you to get along, try to find a compromise, like you still seeing her, but her not starting debates when you're together. Does he have no opinions on those attitudes? How long have they been together? Maybe the rose glasses will fade if she keeps bringing such stuff up.

 

[Tosk]

I would worry that my son has no taste.

But in general I would just ignore her ignorant bullshit. You'll never win an argument with an idiot, and it might create a difficult situation for your son.

I used to have a co-worker that grew up with some "mildly" racist views. Any time she brought them up I would just change the subject or leave the room. (After she had made her first point, I would remember I had something to do. I didn't just turn and walk away in the middle of a sentence. )

 

[Finn]

Do you guys think it is OK for me to ignore my son’s girlfriend view of things rather than argue with her? So far she has rattled off the following

Anti-vaccine beliefs
The 5G conspiracy
Wondering if what we saw in the sky was a chemtrail or a contrail

today she told I was not spiritual because I drank tap water. She said that fluoride in the water destroys the spiritual centre of the brain
She also went on about how there is no law in the USA to allow the government to collect taxes. I am not sure why she is worried about this as 1) she is an Australian 2) she does currently pay taxes even in Australia (except GST). I am also certain that she has never read the US Constitution ie the 16th Amendment.

She went on about how stupid and rude Tasmanians are (she’s originally from from Queensland) but I think it might just be that Tasmanians are calling her out on all this bullshit. She hates living in Tasmania and today complained that the sun is too hot in Tasmania.

So I am asking my fellow Trekbbsers - how to you personally deal with people who believe in conspiracy theories, whether they are family, people at your work etc.

I'd ignore her.

And I'd have assumed Tasmania had a cooler climate due to being further south of mainland Australia, plus the proximity to the ocean as it's a smallish island?

 

[Miss Chicken]

It does have a cooler climate but for some reason people from the Mainland often get sunburned when they visit even though they rarely burn at home. Possibly Tasmania’s pollution free skies might make a difference, or maybe because our days are longer in the summer.

 

[Miss Chicken]

She has been his girlfriend since early 2019 and he moved in with her in 2021. He seems to have picked up some of her ideas but I am not sure if he actually believes them or whether he is taking the path of least resistance.

They are really bad at budgeting so I tend to find work for them to around my home and I usually pay them around $40. Today they washed my windows.

The strangest thing is she goes on about not putting poisons into her body (ie vaccines, fluoride) but she is usually having a cigarette when she is telling me this. I don’t say anything.

 

[Ar-Pharazon]

The strangest thing is she goes on about not putting poisons into her body (ie vaccines, fluoride) but she is usually having a cigarette when she is telling me this. I don’t say anything.

Oh FFS

 

[Marc]

The strangest thing is she goes on about not putting poisons into her body (ie vaccines, fluoride) but she is usually having a cigarette when she is telling me this. I don’t say anything.

Yeah seen that before.

The irony is truly lost on them.

Pointing out the contradiction isn't worth the headache and she probably say it's all lies about the chemicals in the cigarette.

 

[USS Firefly]

I would ignore her. My neighbour believes that Covid is a tool to let the government control us. At first I would get in a argument with him, but now I just change the conversation to a neutral direction

 

[Colonel Midnight]

Just give her the ‘Bartender Answer’ (as I call it) that we were taught during bartending class.

When someone starts talking weirdo stuff, crazy politics, etc., just nod, smile, and say ‘You know, you just might be right!’…

(Of course, they might be wrong just as much or more so, but don't mention/say that part. )

Cheers,
-CM-

 

[fireproof78]

So I am asking my fellow Trekbbsers - how to you personally deal with people who believe in conspiracy theories, whether they are family, people at your work etc.

In general, I ignore it. I provide no fuel to the conspiracy because 1), my arguments will mean nothing to them, and 2) they want to be argued with. Now, I have had training in the art of redirection but I find that I am able to say "I appreciate you sharing that with me," and the moving on to another subject or flat out disengaging because it isn't worth my time.

 

[USS Firefly]

When someone starts talking weirdo stuff, crazy politics, etc., just nod, smile, and say ‘You know, you just might be right!’…

Also a good answer to give my wife when we have a disagreement!

 

[Silvercrest]

So I am asking my fellow Trekbbsers - how to you personally deal with people who believe in conspiracy theories, whether they are family, people at your work etc.

In general I just steer clear of them. in this post-COVID age I now work at home, so my contacts with co-workers are limited. My only other social circle of any size is church. There, and it's not hard to avoid people I don't care for (or keep the discussions brief). Usually.

Outside of that, my primary exposure to those sorts of personalities is social media ... and I've done considerable housecleaning to block, ignore, or unfriend the disagreeable ones. Although generally I don't have to deal with conspiracy theorists — instead, it's mostly rabid conservatives who insist they have to be right about everything, like to start arguments, and won't shut up. Hell, I don't even disagree with a lot of their rhetoric ... I just get tired of hearing it.

The one person I still have to deal with is my brother, who I (generally) can't shut out because "family". Fortunately he lives in Germany and I don't have to deal with his conservative rants that often. But I've had to put my foot down and make very clear to him that when we do chat on Facebook, there's to be no politics. (I am STILL trying to figure out how, in a discussion of the 1st Amendment where I made a single aside comment, he managed to make the leap to ranting about both Brexit and the policies of Angela Merkel.)

My motivation is a little different, though. A lot of it stems from events Mrs. Silvercrest and I went through just a few years ago. it left me in a state where I'd process any sort of confrontation really badly. I try very hard to avoid that sort of thing now because I don't want to risk spontaneously exploding at the other person, having a panic attack, or just plain becoming hysterical. All of which has happened. So, no more arguments or debates (including here) unless absolutely necessary.

She went on about how stupid and rude Tasmanians are (she’s originally from from Queensland) but I think it might just be that Tasmanians are calling her out on all this bullshit. She hates living in Tasmania and today complained that the sun is too hot in Tasmania.

Convince her to move away! Problem solved!

(I know, not that simple)

 

[Miss Chicken]

The problem is she cannot move away. She has a daughter, aged about 10 or 11, whose father is quite happy to live in Tasmania. They have joint custody of the child and the Family Court had deemed she cannot remove the child from here. So she is stuck here until the girl turns 18 unless she gives up custody.

 

[shapeshifter]

I've only had one civil conversation with my brother in 3 years, and that was dealing with a third family member issue, for all the same reasons.

Not sure we'll ever reconcile, short of me giving in and agreeing with him.

 

[Velocity]

I had a friend who was always telling me about her latest conspiracy theories, but she was great other than that. I just figured that she was a great friend other than a few issues and I loved her for all her other good qualities. She died last year from Huntington's Chorea and maybe that disease encouraged her conspiracy theory tendencies, who knows? No one's perfect and I miss her so much.

 

[J. Frank Doobie]

today complained that the sun is too hot in Tasmania

Somehow this surprised me the most. I always assumed Tasmania was a pretty chilly/oceanic place!

 

[Miss Chicken]

Somehow this surprised me the most. I always assumed Tasmania was a pretty chilly/oceanic place!

We have a temperate climate. She is complaining about the harshness of the sun’s rays not the actual temperature ie Tasmania’s clear skies and lack of humidity contribute to that harsh, stinging feeling on the skin.

 

[Avro Arrow]

We have a temperate climate. She is complaining about the harshness of the sun’s rays not the actual temperature ie Tasmania’s clear skies and lack of humidity contribute to that harsh, stinging feeling on the skin.

Well, there's always...

You could even tell her that it protects you from chemtrails and blocks spy balloons from watching you...

 

[Starbreaker]

Just say "Wow, that's crazy" and go about your day like I do with my coworkers.