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Dark Territory: Aftershocks

Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

Thanks Dnoth,

I hadn't planned on offing Ivan initially, but it felt like the right thing to do. I really didn't have any more plans for the character. However, I left his death vague enough that he might return if I, or one of you guys have need for him.

I'm also glad you like the story. "Aftershocks" went through several changes, first titled "Oumriel" and then "Rekindled". I just wasn't satisfied with those versions, and hopefully "Aftershocks" is an entertaining read that also helps push along the Dark Territory saga.
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

I liked how you took Ivan off the board--there's enough wiggle room where he could be brought back if necessary--in fact, I've got some ideas churning in my head right now--although it might not be in a way people expect... ;)

This was a strong entry in the Dark Territory series with the Defiant's crew lucky to get away with their lives. Of course now, the Feds are going to have to get the Defiant back...
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

DarKush, How many DT stories are there because after the recent board pruning, I found about 4, including Aftershocks. Have you got the early ones on your hard-drive so I can catch up?
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

David,

I would love to hear your ideas for Ivan. I know they've got to be pretty cool.

Xeris,

A lot of DT stories probably aren't on TrekBBS anymore. Before I send them on to David, I'm holding them in case I need to retool them. I want them all to fit together when I send them to his website. I can send you copies if you like. Here's a chronological rundown of stories:

Dark Territory Saga:

The Heart of the Matter
The Crucible
The Needs of the One
The Valley of Peace
Under the Shadows of Swords
Movements in Light and Shadow (Vignettes)
Objects at Rest (Vignettes)
Objects in Motion (Vignettes)
Fall Out
Dearest Blood
Aftershocks

Stuff I haven't posted/still working on:
Obscura
Mind Games
Tangled Webs
Three the Hard Way (Captain's Table story)
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

I would like copies, that way I can read them quickly since I have to read the novel-length Star Eagle Adventures and the Shepard stories as well. I thought I would read yours first as they are shorter.

Get my email addy through the yahoo group.

Thanks
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

Funny enough I was going to ask if you could give us another rundown of the DT saga. You need a companion to keep up with all these stories and characters. (Did you update the United Trek time-line? That might help a bit)

This one was quite a trip (pun intended). I was happy to see that you brought back the Cuffe and also that you finally picked up the loose ends from The Cruicible. And then you went ahead and gave us plenty new loose ends to be resolved later.

Once again keeping track of all these characters wasn't an easy task but i really liked your focus on Uhnari and Ivan. In best DT fashion of course there was no happy end for these two tragic figures. (or ... who knows?)

The jumps back and forth in time were well done but I didn't think they played off each other as well as they could have. We learned that these aliens were a massive threat to the Federation mostly from the torture/examination segments and from the turned Vorta. On Cuffe we learned how to fight this new threat but it didn't really seem to play much of a role in the present for Ivan to complete his mission.

I also wasn't quite clear what it took to get in and out of the alien dimension. It seemed pretty difficult to get in but then really easy to get out. I might have missed something.

The Cuffe segments were among my favorites and I loved the tension between Uhnari and Rojas as well as the many other characters of the Cuffe. (The doctors secret telephathy issue and crush on the captain!) You need to bring those guys back!

I wasn't too crazy about Bashir. He didn't do much besides provide some buffer between Uhnari and Ivan. I don't really agree with the direction you've taken with him (even though you've done a great job explaining how he has become a reluctant S31 agent).

I really did enjoy this story though and I'm sure it wouldn't be Dark Territory if I agreed with everything you've done. :lol:

Very well done!
 
Re: Part Three: Hell Breaks Loose

CeJay,

Your criticisms are valid. I'm not too up on wormhole mechanics. What I was hoping to describe was once you entered the funnel, on either end, it catapulted you through space-time to the opposite end.

I can see how the events on the Cuffe and the Alshain shuttle/Defiant were not as interconnected as perhaps they should've been. I thought about doing something where the events would wind up happening simultaneously, due to the temporal nature of the dark matter realm the Koloi, etc. reside in. But then I thought that might be too confusing. I mainly wanted to connect them through the Cuffe learning a way to seal the rift which Ivan/Aquiel then employed.

Part of the reason I didn't bring the Koloi back for Ivan to deal with in 2377 was I wanted to show how diverse the Primacy is. It is composed of many different species and I tried to show that by mentioning the Nyree, Rikeet, and Dorylaa as well as the Koloi. Rest assured that I or other members of the United Trek group (hint, hint) will go into more detail on this new threat in later stories.

I definitely understand your gripe about Bashir. I flirted with killing him off, but I didn't want to do that. I didn't know if you guys might need or want to use him for your stories. I really don't like dealing with canon characters all that much, especially the well established ones like Bashir. I'm always worrying about capturing their voices or mannerisms, etc. Then you have to play kid gloves with them, or rather I do, so it's very little fun. But it wouldn't make any sense to use DS9 in my stories and not include them. However, you might can tell I try to limit the use of canon character scenes.

I think Bashir did serve as a good foil for Ivan in "Aftershocks". Both men are dealing with the consequences of their actions, and perhaps both are feeling more than a little guilty. So, their interaction was cool for me. I also think having Bashir join S31 sets up new, unexpected possibilities for the character, so I disagree with you on that point.

I'm glad you like the Rojas/Uhnari scenes. Rojas has been something of a mystery for me. I'm finally starting to get a feel for her, and I thought it would be neat for Uhnari to be critical of new guy Braener but have to remember that Rojas was similarly critical of her.

I'm also glad you liked Dr. Rieta Cole. She was a last minute addition. But I think she was a good one. I'm trying to think of ways to bring her back.

I now sort of regret offing the Cuffe in my first story. I enjoy writing stories set on the Cuffe the best for some reason.
 
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