Cussing at work...

[Warped9]

Someone emailed this to me so I thought I'd share.


Cussing at Work

Dear Employees:

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers.

Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


Number 1
TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing.

Number 2
TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

Number 3
TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

Number 4
TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.

Number 5
TRY SAYING: Really?
INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

Number 6
TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

Number 7
TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem.

Number 8
TRY SAYING: That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

Number 9
TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work.

Number 10
TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

Number 11
TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues...
INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

Number 12
TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF: Eat sh__ and die.

Number 13
TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

Number 14
TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

Number 15
TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a___

Number 16
TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

Number 17
TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

Number 18
TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.


Thank You,
Human Resources

 

[Robert Maxwell]

People at my job actually do say all the profanity-laden ones. I love New Jersey.

 

[TEH BABA]

And a lot of black people seem to sue the n word at a nursing home i work at.

 

[the Dagman]

Excuse me, sir?

 

[Mistral]

Laughed my-I mean, this was the source of much jocularity.

 

[propita]

Where Hubby and I worked years ago, Hubby would routinely say, "I hate my fucking job." He left to go back to school and hasn't regretted it.

Of course, the motto among some in my work group was "No motivation, no pride." Btw, we had increasing productivity almost every year, so the motto wasn't really reflective. We were all just expecting the worst--and they did try to outsource our department 3 times in 5 years. DoD finally stepped in and said no outsourcing, no moving where you will lose all of these employees--we were calibration, responsible for final quality for a major aerospace firm. We were good at our jobs, too. Totally unappreciated.

 

[RoJoHen]

I can't go 5 minutes at work without dropping an F-bomb.

In fact, "cunt" is probably one of the most frequently-used words by all of my coworkers, including management.

 

[Lindley]

No one really cares about the occasional swear at my work, but most people seem mildly embarrassed if they drop one around others.

The philosophy is basically, "Don't do that when the customer is in the room."

 

[auntiehill]

Jesus Fucking Christ, I'm so fucking glad I work from my own god damn home in the privacy of my fucking office.

 

[M'Sharak]

Someone emailed this to me so I thought I'd share.

Some things really never change. Back before most people had even rudimentary e-mail at work (PROFS Notes for me, circa 1983) I'm almost positive that this identical "memo" was circulating on xeroxed pages in inter-office mail envelopes.

 

[Captain Ice]

*right click and save*

 

[BigFoot]

As long as we won't do it when a business partner is around (which is pretty rare) we can cuss all we want.

 

[Miss Chicken]

Maybe it is because I worked in the library industry but i can't remember ever hearing my coworkers using such language.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

We even swear around the customers. They swear, too. Everybody here has a potty mouth. Goddamn fucking New Jersey and motherfucking New York!

 

[Adm_Hawthorne]

We could probably use that here instead of everyone nervously glancing at the HR Manager (me) whenever a four letter word comes out of their mouth.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

We have an office in Nevada now, and I'm kind of concerned about how to communicate with them.

"How the fuck are you guys doing?" is probably not a good opener, is it?

 

[captcalhoun]

my bossy gets assy if i even say 'bloody' or 'bleeding' in front of customers. i was like 'who gives a shit about those words these days?'

 

[Mary Ann]

I work in a children's centre and there are 3-year-olds who cuss more in an hour than I do in a day. Pretty scary, actually.

 

[Mistral]

Jesus Fucking Christ, I'm so fucking glad I work from my own god damn home in the privacy of my fucking office.

Love you!

 

[Mistral]

I work in a children's centre and there are 3-year-olds who cuss more in an hour than I do in a day. Pretty scary, actually.

I got fired from a day care center when I threatened to wash the 7 yr olds mouths out with soap if they dropped another fbomb. Threatened-didn't do.