Cowardly Kirk

[Jayson]

This is a story about Cpatain KIrk if he was a coaward instead of the brave,heroic captain we are familiar with.

Captain Kirk entered the bridge and looked around. It was a familiar sight to take in. Spock was at his science station looking over scientific data. Uhura was at her post listening for subspace communications and upfront Chekov and Sulu were at their stations as well. Even McKoy was standing next to the cpatain's chair. "Welcome back JIm." McKoy said "Do you think your ready? You had a pretty bad nervous breakdown the last time you were up here." Feeeling a litttle anger at the reminder Kirk blurted out "I am fine, Bones." He imeditealy felt guilty at being so rude to his friend "Thanks for the concern but." before he could finish his sentence Uhura chippped in with subspace messsage she recieved "Sir I am picking up a subspace communication asking us to surrrender from space. I can't locate were it's coming from, exaclty>" Fear coursed through his body "Surrender now" Jim yelled and so began the final mission of KIrk as cpatain of the Enterprise.

 

[Jayson]

"Surrender wouldn't be logical. We don't even know the threat we are facing"Spock said without emotion. Kirk new Spock was right but he was so afraid he didn't back down 'Do it anyways. I am the cpatain and we will do what I say" He noticed everyone looking at him with concern but finally Uhura did as ordered "This is the starship Entrprise to unknown alien prsence. We are prepared to surrrender>" Jim felt relief untill he heard Chekov "Keptain on the viewscreeen" Kirk turned from Uhura to see a Klingon ship uncloak"Kirk moved to the frint "Please don't let that be who asked us to surrender" and tears started to come out of Kirk's eyes. "hHis is Cpatain Kor. We are glad to see you listen to reason. We will most enjoy having the Enterprise as our new gift to the Klingon High Council" Kor could only be heard over subspace but Kirk new it was him. "NO!" KIrk yelled and ran to the turbolift. He wanted to get to the escape pods. He had to get off the ship imeditealy. He didn't like abaonding his crew and friends but Kor was scary. He still recalled the last encounter with him as if it was yesterday.

 

[Jayson]

I will finish the reest of the story later today or tommorow

Jason

 

[Jayson]

Running through the corridors Kirk started to feel out of breath so he stoped for a moment to breathe. He then heard the red alert klaxtoons switch on. Spock must have ignored his orders od surrendor. The ship would be going into.. The ship ratlled and Kirk fell to the ground before finishing his thought. He didn't blame Spock. He was doing what was best for the ship were as Kirk knew he was doing what was best for Kirk. Kirk use to not be so scared but now he was frightened at.. The ship rocked again. Kirk got up and ran. No time to ponder things I guess he thought to himself. I got to get off this ship.

 

[Jayson]

I would like people to tell me what they think of this story so far. Does it suck or is it good. I am rusty at writing but this is something I want to start doing more often and I welcome feedback

Jason

 

[Jayson]

Kirk made it to the escape pod and punched in the code to open it. "Sir?" A ensign asked looking perplexed by what the captain was doing."I am gettting offf the ship ensgin,you can come with me if you want" The ensign looked disgusted at the thought. "No thanks" and moved on to his duties. Kirk climbed in and sealed the door. He was going to make it! He wouldn't die on the ship and while he didn't think his life would amount to much after what he did, he would at least still exsit. He accesed the computer and lauched the escape pod into the void of space. As the escape pod moved futher from the ship he looked out the windonw and saw the klingon batttle crusier move in for the kill. First it blew off the starboard Nacell and while the Enterprise returned fire it didn't do much damage. The Klingon ship circled around and torpedoed the bridge. Kirk felt sick because he knew Spock and McCoy were now dead. The Enterprise was the next thing to go as the klingon ship targeted the Bussard Collector and kepth firing until there was nothing left to fire on.

 

[Jayson]

Kirk fell back stunned at the thought of what he did and what horror Spock and NcCoy and his crew had lived through but he was ALIVE! The very thought was exciting and he took a deep breath and exhauled. Life was such a glorious thing and his would continue. Only problem now was what to do, next. Surrender was one option. He would make a valuable prisoner to the Klingon empire and since he would say anything to the Klingons to stay alive he could milk out a pretty good exsitence by simply doing propoganda films for them and giving them classfied info. His other option was to fly the ship back into Federation space and face a court martial and prision. More importantly though he would be shot down by the Klingons if he tried to evade them. Kirk had no cohice. His pushed the comm buttton and isssued his surrender.

 

[Jono]

Jayson, just as with any other post on this board you should use paragraphs and not just fire out large single blocks of text if you want people to read what you have written.

 

[Jayson]

Kirk was directed through the corridors of the klingon ship by two burly klingon soliders with disruptors pointed at him. Kirk was hungry,tired,sad and afraid. It had beeen a busy day for the former captain. He planned to fix that when he talked to Captain Kor.

"Welcome Kirk" Kor smiled at his prize catch. "I take it the guards have treated you fairly." Kor got up from behind a ancinet wooden desk make from the tusks of 400 dead Targ's from a time in Klngon history when Targ's were not seen as a source of amusment or food. He wanted to face Kirk on his feet like a true Klingon. "I'm fine Kor" Kirk said. "I want to make a deal. For a decent life as your prisoner I offer you all the secrets I have about Starfleet."

Kor considered the option for a moment, then laughed. "Kirk are mind-shifter can get all the info you have without having to listen to your conditions of surrender." "We will get what we want and be done with you." Kirk knew this was a option but he was hoping he could convince Kor he would be more useful, alive than dead or as a vegetable. "KOr" Kirk pleaded as he got on his hands and knee's. "I will serve the klingon empire in any fashion you wish." Kirk was now begging."Please give me a chance to serve,you." It was a offer Kor couldn't resist.

 

[Jayson]

Days passed into weeks and weeks passed into months. Kirk was learning life was hard indeed when it comes to being a slave to the Klingon empire or maybe it was Kor who was a especially awful slave owner.

Kirk would get at most 4 hours a sleep and he would wake up, eat his daily alloment of gruel and then head to the main briefing room aboard the ship were he would talk with Kor and any number specialist from those in the secret intelligence department to those in the klingon military. He was helping do everything he could to help the Klingons move pass startleet, because his life depended on it.

"I have figured out,Master, how to acccess the security codes of every Constitution-class ship in the fleet" Kirk noted and handed his workpad to Kor who handed it off to a group of engineer's to go study. Kor smiled and patted Kirk on the head "Good Boy." The smile made Kirk want to vomit but he just smiled instead and went back to work.

 

[Jayson]

Kirk sat in his cell crying. The ship shook but for once he wasn't thinking of his safety he was thinking of what he had done. At that very moment the klingon ship Coro's(Kor's ship) was enganged in battle with the USSefiant, one of the many Constitution-class ships that would be targeted by Kor now that he could lower their shield's by using their defense codes agaisnt them.

It was all Kirk's fault and even though he was afraid to do anything about it he knew the day would come when he had to. The question si what could he do? He could try and kill Kor but someone would just replace him and that someone would most likely not apreciate Kirk in the same way Kor did.

Kirk realized the Defiant was a lost ship but he deceided his next course of action. It was time to poision the well. Kirk would saboge the next attack on a Constitution-class ship by giving Kor a false defense code. Kor was smart and he would undoubtly have a backup plan in place, just for that possibility but that was when Kirk would make his move and fight. All he needed now would be something to use as a weapon when the time, came.

 

[Jayson]

It had been a week later since Kirk had made his choice to fight back. Kor had already developed a battle strategy to use that involved Kirk's fake access codes. He would use the same strategy he used on the Enterprise. Issue a surrender while clocked, for polticial reasons, thn he would circle aroud and attack from the behind. Kirk could think of a milions ways to fight back from that kind of attack pattern and he felt regret he hadn't showed the courage of leadership to use that acknowledge, when he had still been in command.

Kirk new the attack would happen tommorow and he could barely get sleep,not that he got much sleep on a regular day as Kor's slave. Still the ancipation of doing the right thing,excited him. He had looked at for himself for to long of a period.

Kirk dosed off eventually and woke up a hour later to go to the bridge were Kor would keep a leash aroud him as if he was a Pet Targ. It was arogant showmnship that Kirk knew would finally be something Kor ends up regreting, when he made his move.

 

[Jayson]

Kirk sat on his hands and knee's at Kor's feet, excited that he was about to get his freedom, even if it proably meant his death, in the next few moments. KOr had targeted the USS:Constitution as his next targeted ship and they were aproaching the ship, under-cloak>

"Communications officer, open a channel"Kor said as he slighly pulled at Kirk's lease as a warning not to say anything. "Channel open,Sir" the officer responded. Kor stood up and moved to the front, letting go of Kirk's lease,content that Kirk would stay were he was. "Starfleet ship. We are asking you to srrender your ship at once." Kor then ordered the ship iinto battle alert.
The starfleet captain on the other ship naturally didn't comply and that was when Kirk knew his moment of truth was upon him. "Use the defense codes to bring down the shield's" Kor ordered to his engineering officer. The officer tried but couldn't get a response. "Sir thery ar.." He didn't finish his sentence due to the fact that Kirk was behind Kor with his leases wrapped around his neck as he pulled hard and tight.

 

[NiteTrek]

Jayson, just as with any other post on this board you should use paragraphs and not just fire out large single blocks of text if you want people to read what you have written.

Learning to spell would also be a great improvement!

 

[Jayson]

Jayson, just as with any other post on this board you should use paragraphs and not just fire out large single blocks of text if you want people to read what you have written.

Learning to spell would also be a great improvement!

Spelling problems has to do with the fact that I can't read what I type. My eyes have turned to shit. Everything looks fuzzy. That makes it go back and fix my spelling mistakes, which is what I would do back in the day, during my creative writing classes.

Bad eyes and the fact that I am extremly rusty is a problem I know. Beleive or not I use to be good at this thing and I am trying to get back to where I once was, before I start college up again.

Jason

 

[Wowbagger]

Why did Kirk abandon ship? Or serve the Klingons? He'd rather die. So his motivation doesn't make any sense.

Also, the story is more of a summary of events than a narrative of events. We have little sense of the settings, the reasoning processes of the characters, the actual steps that these characters are going through... it's just Ship! Explosion! Kor's Slave! Explosion! Defiance! with a few moments of actual narrative scattered in.

So far, every paragraph you've written would, properly spun out, have a lot more dialogue, events, characterization, and add up to three to four pages.

And, of course, spelling and grammar are the minimal conditions for good writing. If you don't have that, it doesn't matter whether you have a good reason or not -- people won't take you seriously or give you a fair hearing.

Best,
-W

 

[Jayson]

That's true but that was because this is basically my first draft. I was more intrested in,getting the basic story down before I went into more detail. I see alot of the same flaws you did. I was curious though if the basic structure is solid and if there was a improvement in the writing as I went along, excpet for the ovious spelling mistakes of course.

 

[Jayson]

Kirk killed Kor with all his strength, He looked at the dead body for a moment and felt pride that he finally stood up to the man who killed his friends and enslaved him "Your dead human" a klingon guard took his Bat'leth and swung at Kirk. Kirk ducked but not before a second security guard stabbed him in the back with a knife.