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complaint letter to Richard Branson

Wonderful letter.

I wonder what the food actually was. Maybe he should have sneak it past customs and had it analysed.
 
I'm sure questioning what was presented. Other than the tomato I don't recognize a thing.
 
Okay, I laughed.

I mean, like really REALLY laughed.

Some sort of salty moisture squirted out of my eyes, that's how much I laughed.

Heh. :guffaw: <squirt>

Sorry about that...I'll grab a squeegee and be right back.
 
Oh my God...I laughed so hard I cried!!!!

I thought I've seen bad airplane food...that's even worse than the crap that made a friend of mine throw up in-flight. (And mind you, we're not talking about someone prone to airsickness, either.)

I love how it gets this sense of indignation through--and yet manages to be hysterically funny, too. THAT is how you get something done in customer service. Even if that were MY company, I think I'd be forced to laugh. :rommie:
 
Nerys Ghemor said:
Oh my God...I laughed so hard I cried!!!!

I thought I've seen bad airplane food...that's even worse than the crap that made a friend of mine throw up in-flight. (And mind you, we're not talking about someone prone to airsickness, either.)

I love how it gets this sense of indignation through--and yet manages to be hysterically funny, too. THAT is how you get something done in customer service. Even if that were MY company, I think I'd be forced to laugh. :rommie:
Click to expand...

If that were my company, I'd fly him and his family up to my house and have them served the fanciest dinner, just to make amends.

J.
 
That was pretty good. I'm impressed that Richard Branson actually took the time to call the guy.
 
J. Allen said:
If that were my company, I'd fly him and his family up to my house and have them served the fanciest dinner, just to make amends.
Click to expand...

Which is why Mr. Branson is the rich guy: he doesn't really care about his customers, just how he's percieved by his customers…
 
Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter?

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/t...e-worlds-best-passenger-complaint-letter.html
:lol:
I’ll try and explain how this felt. Imagine being a twelve year old boy Richard. Now imagine it’s Christmas morning and you’re sat their with your final present to open. It’s a big one, and you know what it is. It’s that Goodmans stereo you picked out the catalogue and wrote to Santa about.



Only you open the present and it’s not in there. It’s your hamster Richard. It’s your hamster in the box and it’s not breathing. That’s how I felt when I peeled back the foil and saw this: [see image 3, above].
Click to expand...

Is this not the funniest complaint letter ever?
 
Re: Virgin: the world's best passenger complaint letter?

I prefer Bruce Campbell's:

http://www.bruce-campbell.com/blog.asp?specific=9

Call Waiting - 2/3/2008
BC
An open letter to US West from Bruce Campbell

Greetings, US West, allow me to introduce myself as a most unanimously dissatisfied customer. The following is a not-so-friendly reminder of how your company might provide good service to your customers, since I am utterly convinced that they are in desperate need of it.

Incidentally, this would be the best time to recycle this letter if you have no interest in improving the administrative duties your company is obliged to fulfill.

Where shall I begin?

Let's turn back the calendar to the year 1998 - May, to be exact. At that time, I place an order to add additional phone lines and voice mail to my home.

The installation was to be fulfilled approximately July 15th of that year. Several days after that date, realizing that no US West phone company representative had shown up, I placed a call to one of your fine agents - my Customer Service Representative (let's call him Alex), and asked why, in fact, the important work was not completed, let alone attempted.

The answer that came back was simple, yet astounding:

The area of concern utilized an "older" system, and couldn't provide the switching to connect a missed call to Voice Mail, or provide the additional lines that I needed.

Well, imagine my surprise.

Apparently, my Customer Service Representative from the Home Office Consulting Center in Phoenix (very far from where I live) didn't even know what systems were actually available in my quiet little valley before he placed my order.

Funny, I thought you were in the communication business...

Recommendation #1: Introduce the Left hand to the Right hand.

I was so incensed that I asked to be assigned a new Representative. This was a mistake, as it turned out, since only Alex really knew where all of the bodies were buried.

With Alex, we formulated Plan B. The idea was simple: Your fine company would dig a trench, sub-contracted of course, up the entire length of my property and lay a shiny new, 6-pair line.

I guess it was so easy that it only took until January of this year - that would be, let's see, about nine months from the time the order was placed. There was, however, a nasty little strike within your company during that time, but maybe I'm just impatient.

In June of this year, the sub-contractors returned to bury the remainder of the cable in a lower, wetter portion of my property. I found that odd, since I had to pay the entire trenching bill before the work was even finished - but let's not get distracted.

While the excellent sub-contractor was burying the remainder of the lonely, exposed phone cable, they "stretched" it a little too tight in one area and snapped the line.

Oh, joy...

Then there was the water thing.

After a temporary splice re-connected the line, the diligent workers plodded along and ran across an old steel pipe - several times. Undaunted by this, they continued their course, very close to the pipe, until they hit it again, this time severing it. I was not directly impacted by this little boo-boo, but the pipe turned out to be a water supply to approximately three families across the road from me.

Imagine, if you can, the angry phone calls I got.

Recommendation #2: Encourage your sub-contractors to take a hint: If they keep hitting pipe as they dig, they might want to change their course.

Eventually, the severed line was repaired and all was well again in my happy valley...until I wanted to get call waiting.

The uses of this feature are many, particularly if you have any desire to run a business out of your home, like I am attempting to do. The order was placed but, alas, the service was not to be...for week after week, after week. I lost count of how many times I was told "next day by 6:00," or "tomorrow by noon for sure."

I was fascinated, at one point, to be told by a Customer Service Representative (to whom I had been complaining) that I would have to call repair if I wanted something done. I became perplexed: How can something be repaired if the service hasn't even taken place?

Recommendation #3: Throw an inter-state party and introduce Salt Lake to Phoenix, then introduce Phoenix to my valley. It might just work...

Eventually, I was told that the call waiting problem was being caused by a Centraflex system that had been on my line-in-question all along. In order to use call waiting, she told me, I had to hit the flash button, then dial *9. The odd thing about this conversation was that I was talking to a Repair person.

Recommendation #4: Close down the Customer Service Representative sector and just let Repair do it all. Corporations are always looking for ways to cut operation expenses, right? I'll give you that one for free.

In all of the frustration and mounting madness over the last year, I have tried to calculate just how much time I have spent on the phone, talking to various representatives from both Sales and Repair.

After much tabulation, I realized that it was enough time to read How to Trench Responsibly, Companies that are Too Big for their Own Good and Waiting for Call Waiting - all best-sellers.

By the by, if you're going to respond to this letter with a generic "so sorry you weren't happy with our service" letter, please spare yourself the postage and me the insult.

Nothing would make me happier, cynic that I am, than to have this letter actually read by a human, preferably someone who could ponder its implications and make suggestions to upper management folks, perhaps during a volley ball game at the next Corporate Retreat. Hey, if you haven't selected a place yet, I highly recommend my little valley. On second thought, that probably won't work - you folks might need to make phone calls while you're there...

This may come as a surprise to you, but I am not seeking any compensation whatsoever for the shortcomings listed above. Rather, I would prefer that your company, vast and sprawling as it is, merely to pay attention. If US West were my child, I would send it to the finest Attention Deficit Disorder clinic in the nation. If you were my employee, I would fire you. If you were my employer, I would quit.

Sadly, as I have no other choice for phone service in this area, am stuck with US West and you are stuck with yet another eternally crabby customer.

Yours in regret,
Bruce Campbell
Click to expand...
 
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