^ Imagine my surprise to discover that both of these guys are from the South. 
Welcome to life below the Mason-Dixon, Temis! Nice of you to visit.
Welcome to life below the Mason-Dixon, Temis! Nice of you to visit.
Commercials that Fail
- Thread starter MetalPants
- Start date
Dusty Ayres
Commodore
Haha, wow... not even tryign to be subtle.
Is it bad that I want the girl more than the Sprite?
Here's a LINK to the full commercial. (Not posting it here as it's SFW cotnent is... dubious although no direct nudity is shown it's a bit explicit.) I'm not sure on the language but it sounds Germanian to me and typically European countries are bit more liberal when it comes to sexual content in commercials but it seems this one was banned over there. I've really got to wonder what Coke was thinking with this commercial and how they thought it'd sell more Sprite.
The language is indeed German.
You're not kidding. Not familiar with her, I googled Erin Esurance when she first got mentioned in this thread about being a good match for the other animated guy, and was pretty shocked by the image hits that came back. Especially when I scrolled down and saw the Erin hentai pictures.
You should see some of the stuff that's out there for Jessica Rabbit and Judy Jetson. And cute little Kim Possible -- I don't know if she's even legal!. . . Not familiar with her, I googled Erin Esurance when she first got mentioned in this thread about being a good match for the other animated guy, and was pretty shocked by the image hits that came back. Especially when I scrolled down and saw the Erin hentai pictures.
I really hate the Jared jewelery store commercials. "He went to Jared!" Bleh. They just really rub me the wrong way. I am SO grateful that my wife isn't one of *those* type people!
There is a local commercial for a restaurant here that my wife and I think is absolutely hilarious. The commercial itself is your standard basement budget local cable things, but it's the background music they chose that's the killer. It actually took us several times seeing the commercial to notice the music. The restaurant's name is "Ol' Heidelberg", and they serve authentic German/Bavarian food. They could have chosen a polka or some other Bavarian music to play in the background, but no, they chose to play an accordion rendition of "Hava Nagila"!
There is a local commercial for a restaurant here that my wife and I think is absolutely hilarious. The commercial itself is your standard basement budget local cable things, but it's the background music they chose that's the killer. It actually took us several times seeing the commercial to notice the music. The restaurant's name is "Ol' Heidelberg", and they serve authentic German/Bavarian food. They could have chosen a polka or some other Bavarian music to play in the background, but no, they chose to play an accordion rendition of "Hava Nagila"!
They rub me the wrong way too. I'm like "Who the fuck is Jared?" and why are they making such a big deal about it? I've never even heard of the dude before.
Kind of makes you wonder where the lawyers who shut down the Taco Bell chihuahua are
I've never seen that before!Suicide-inducing.
Here's the correct way to make an idiotic rap commercial to sell ugly cars.
Hey it looks better than a cardboard box!
Huh?
You're not kidding. Not familiar with her, I googled Erin Esurance when she first got mentioned in this thread about being a good match for the other animated guy, and was pretty shocked by the image hits that came back. Especially when I scrolled down and saw the Erin hentai pictures.
oh wow, I just googled Erin Esurance Mr Opportunity & stumbled onto some, uh, interesting fanart. Rule 34 strikes again.
Well, if it makes you guys feel any better, alot of girls hate those sickly sweet commercials also.
And the "Every kiss begins with Kay" jeweler commercials are not much better.
These guys try to sell women on the idea that virtually every birthday and major & minor holiday should be an occasion to receive expensive jewelry...and if you don't get it, you are married to some sort of substandard unromantic yahoo.
Never mind that you both have to go into extreme debt to buy this jewelry. Which, incidentally, you never wear.
I've bitched about these before, where the guy does something greatly romantic like the one where the guy shouts out to an entire concrete park that he loves his girlfriend, a romantic gesture all by itself and she gets all freaked out and tells him to shut up. The guy then tells her he loves her and then she hugs him, kisses him, and starts saying how much she loves him in a far quieter manner.
Jared? the guy from the Subway commercials sells jewelry?
I like some of their commercials...
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0yFUaCQ3P0[/yt]
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4_Hq0aNic7o[/yt]
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4clfO06TMkI[/yt]
There's another one I like, but I can't find it.
I apologize in advance, but you asked for it.
The Worst Adverts In the World.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vju2pyqXBLg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJW0LKXeOE
Urrgh.
The Worst Adverts In the World.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-yEWZTBQ64
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vju2pyqXBLg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJW0LKXeOE
Urrgh.
^ Imagine my surprise to discover that both of these guys are from the South.
Welcome to life below the Mason-Dixon, Temis! Nice of you to visit.
Awww.
I remember when California was the undisputed winner in the Craziest State Olympics.EDIT: This is technically not an ad, but it is part of the theme:
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hvaeHllwtw&feature=related[/yt]
Last edited:
Hate: Smilin' Bob.
Mild annoyance: The creepy Russian guy from the DirecTV ad. I hope whoever wrote it has their car break down in the middle of Brighton Beach at 3 AM.
Near-psychotic-inducing hate: Those Yahoo! ads that I already mentioned.
Actually kind of chuckle: The Geico Gecko, the Cavemen, the Keith Hernandez ad
Miss with a soul-searing nostalgia: The fake Energizer Bunny ads.
Laugh hysterically: The Quiznos ad from nuBSG. You know the one I mean.
Mild annoyance: The creepy Russian guy from the DirecTV ad. I hope whoever wrote it has their car break down in the middle of Brighton Beach at 3 AM.
Near-psychotic-inducing hate: Those Yahoo! ads that I already mentioned.
Actually kind of chuckle: The Geico Gecko, the Cavemen, the Keith Hernandez ad
Miss with a soul-searing nostalgia: The fake Energizer Bunny ads.
Laugh hysterically: The Quiznos ad from nuBSG. You know the one I mean.
Who could forget this annoying ad:
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE[/yt]
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_SwD7RveNE[/yt]
Hated them at the time, but now kinda miss it...
"BILLY SIMS HERE....."
RIP Pitchman
"BILLY SIMS HERE....."
RIP Pitchman
my job is captured perfectly in these videos:
Tighten up the graphics
I can't believe I get paid to do this
Tighten up the graphics
I can't believe I get paid to do this
Rett Mikhal
Captain
1-800-Kars-4-Kids trumps all other failed advertisements.
Actually, I wrote a rant about radio ads some time ago.
There's a special level in hell for people who make radio ads. These are the levels of that hell based on severity of the abomination.
1. Any ad that features sounds automobiles make, such as tires screeching or car horns, just to make you paranoid.
2. Any ad with children under 10. This is doubly true for ads with children under 10 advertising things they shouldn't be advertising, such as mortgages or automobile insurance. Kids should stick to selling lemonade.
3. Any ad with people singing. It fakes me out as I think I've escaped all the talking and then I realize it's a shitty music ad. Triply true if used in conjunction with #2.
4. Radio stations that advertise themselves. I'm LISTENING to your station. What more could you possibly want from me? My first born child? I especially hate this current trend of making song parodies. Example:
(Sung to Back in the USA.)
"Now I'm back, now I'm back, now I'm back to the WROR!!" UGH. That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!! Now I'll never listen to your station again, great work.
5. Any ad for McDonald's, including, but not limited to, the one with the fucking alarm clock in the background THE ENTIRE TIME.
6. Television ads that announce actors I've never heard of like I should bow down to just hearing their name on my radio.
"Tonight, on Fraiser, Ria Paschelle guest stars!"
If I can't see them, how am I supposed to recognize them and why should I care? I'm listening to the radio. In my car, usually.
7. Holiday ads. Yes, there is such thing as a calender. This one instantly shoots up to number 1 if it's a Valentine's Day ad.
8. Ads informing you of an artist you like releasing a new album that don't play any songs FROM said album.
9. Ads strictly for the DJs. "Watch Douchebag and Immature Guy in the morning!" DJs are the larva stage of Satan himself. It's one thing to advertise your own radio station, but to advertise parts of it? That would be like Lego advertising one of the Lego Bricks that make up the Lego Pirate Ship. Do we REALLY care about the parts, instead of the sum of its parts?
10. SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!
11. That fast talking bitch. I can't even tell what she's advertising, she just talks really fucking fast.
As for television ads, they're the reason I stopped watching TV and just started watching things online. They all insult your intelligence. I realize they're catering to the lowest common denominator, but come on. I could go on for hours had I not blocked them out of my mind.
I believe you mean Billy Maze. His pitch wasn't the failure for me, it was the obvious failure of the products. They would quick-cut away whenever they showed them 'working.' Just youtube any cleaning product advertisement like the Shamwow or Oxyclean and watch for how they change the camera right as they begin cleaning. Again, lowest common denominator approach, I guess, but they won't be getting any money from observant or otherwise learned people.
Actually, I wrote a rant about radio ads some time ago.
There's a special level in hell for people who make radio ads. These are the levels of that hell based on severity of the abomination.
1. Any ad that features sounds automobiles make, such as tires screeching or car horns, just to make you paranoid.
2. Any ad with children under 10. This is doubly true for ads with children under 10 advertising things they shouldn't be advertising, such as mortgages or automobile insurance. Kids should stick to selling lemonade.
3. Any ad with people singing. It fakes me out as I think I've escaped all the talking and then I realize it's a shitty music ad. Triply true if used in conjunction with #2.
4. Radio stations that advertise themselves. I'm LISTENING to your station. What more could you possibly want from me? My first born child? I especially hate this current trend of making song parodies. Example:
(Sung to Back in the USA.)
"Now I'm back, now I'm back, now I'm back to the WROR!!" UGH. That's the worst thing I've ever heard in my life!! Now I'll never listen to your station again, great work.
5. Any ad for McDonald's, including, but not limited to, the one with the fucking alarm clock in the background THE ENTIRE TIME.
6. Television ads that announce actors I've never heard of like I should bow down to just hearing their name on my radio.
"Tonight, on Fraiser, Ria Paschelle guest stars!"
If I can't see them, how am I supposed to recognize them and why should I care? I'm listening to the radio. In my car, usually.
7. Holiday ads. Yes, there is such thing as a calender. This one instantly shoots up to number 1 if it's a Valentine's Day ad.
8. Ads informing you of an artist you like releasing a new album that don't play any songs FROM said album.
9. Ads strictly for the DJs. "Watch Douchebag and Immature Guy in the morning!" DJs are the larva stage of Satan himself. It's one thing to advertise your own radio station, but to advertise parts of it? That would be like Lego advertising one of the Lego Bricks that make up the Lego Pirate Ship. Do we REALLY care about the parts, instead of the sum of its parts?
10. SUNDAY, SUNDAY, SUNDAY!
11. That fast talking bitch. I can't even tell what she's advertising, she just talks really fucking fast.
As for television ads, they're the reason I stopped watching TV and just started watching things online. They all insult your intelligence. I realize they're catering to the lowest common denominator, but come on. I could go on for hours had I not blocked them out of my mind.
I believe you mean Billy Maze. His pitch wasn't the failure for me, it was the obvious failure of the products. They would quick-cut away whenever they showed them 'working.' Just youtube any cleaning product advertisement like the Shamwow or Oxyclean and watch for how they change the camera right as they begin cleaning. Again, lowest common denominator approach, I guess, but they won't be getting any money from observant or otherwise learned people.
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