Co-sleeping with babies.

[Miss Chicken]

I have just been reading comments in my local newspaper about whether or not parents should sleep with their babies in the bed beside them. It seems that some Tasmanian babies have died as a result of this but those cases involved drunk or drug-affected parents.

I am interested to find out if any parents here ever let their babies share their bed and whether people here consider it to be a safe practice or not.

 

[thestrangequark]

Co-sleeping with infants is natural and healthy. There is a wonderful chapter on it in the fascinating (though horribly titled) Our Babies, Ourselves, which is a social anthropological book about child-rearing practices around the world. There have also been some interesting sleep studies done on women and their infants which observed a synchronicity in their sleep patterns and breathing. It is theorized that sleeping with babies actually aides in their learning to breathe, and reduces (if not eliminates entirely) SIDS deaths.

My mother slept with my siblings and I until we were 2-3, and my sister sleeps with my nephew, who has just moved to his crib some nights, and is now one year old.

Only people so utterly irresponsible as to go to bed with their child completely trashed on on drugs pose any danger to their babies.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

Sure, no problem with it.

Certainly authorities are going to discourage it, because impaired parents are a danger to small children in this and many other situations - and the hell of it is that the more impaired they are, the less competent they are to recognize it at that moment.

 

[Candlelight]

For the first 8-9 weeks of their lives, I slept in the lounge with [one of] my twins on my chest. It was the only way we could get any sleep! Thankfully they're in their own room now (16 weeks).

Otherwise we didn't do that. Our daughter was in a bassinet since birth, her own room/cot since six weeks and slept through the night age eleven weeks. It's not that we were against it, just that we didn't need it.

 

[Kestra]

There is a lack of reliable data about co-sleeping habits in the western world because many feel shame about the fact that they do it or feel their is a stigma about it, so they don't want to admit to it. From the little I've read, co-sleeping doesn't really have negative effects. I think they cited that parents might wake up one or two more times additionally a night, but they also mentioned that the risk of SIDS or other accidents might be slightly lowered. It was also mentioned that around six years most kids will want to sleep on their own anyway.

If I had an infant I would want to sleep in the same room as them but not the same bed, as I've been known to be quite violent in my sleep!

 

[Shatnertage]

We co-slept for quite a while, and also got a bassinet-type-thing called the mini-co-sleeper that hooks to the side of your bed. You can still be next to the baby, but not have to worry about rolling over it.

And Kestra, you have nothing on my daughter when it comes to violence in her sleep. We used to call it "Rock 'em Sock 'em bed time" for a reason. You'd be surprised at how hard an infant can hit, even when they're asleep.

 

[scotpens]

Just don't let your baby share a bed with a dingo.

 

[Kestra]

We co-slept for quite a while, and also got a bassinet-type-thing called the mini-co-sleeper that hooks to the side of your bed. You can still be next to the baby, but not have to worry about rolling over it.

And Kestra, you have nothing on my daughter when it comes to violence in her sleep. We used to call it "Rock 'em Sock 'em bed time" for a reason. You'd be surprised at how hard an infant can hit, even when they're asleep.

That type of bassinet sounds ideal. And you have no idea how terrible I can be. I've been known to push my husband out of the bed entirely and onto the floor, without waking up at all!

 

[RoJoHen]

I would be terrified of rolling over the baby.

My dad actually used to put me on a cushion on the floor and lay on the floor next to me.

 

[Mr Awe]

We did co-sleeping off and on, I'd guess more off than on. We have no problem with it. But, it didn't always work out because our daughter was a wiggly and noisy sleeper. So, we didn't get much sleep when she'd be with us.

Mr Awe

 

[Marten]

There was an influential children expert in Sweden around the time as was born, who said it would harm the child in the long run (Mentally, not physically) to sleep in the same bed as the parents, so I slept in my own bed from the start.

Interestingly, though not proven, my little brother slept with my parents when new-born, and he much more often went into their room to sleep when he got scared, etc, later. And for a far longer time, as well.

 

[HighteeHeller]

I did this with both of my kids. Though not at the same time. My daughter was 18 mnths when her brother was born, and moved into her own bed then.

I most likely would not have done it if i hadnt read Dr. Sears, The Baby Book. He advocated attachement parenting, and from that i made a lot of decisions i probably wouldnt have on my own. I carried both kids in slings, breast fed them both, and they shared a bed with us, among many other things.

He also believes you should NEVER let your child cry themselves to sleep. A practice so common, but so detrimental to a child and the bond you create with them. I wouldnt have been able to do it anyway, but his book showed exactly why it was a bad idea.

 

[kes7]

I prefer not to cosleep. I don't get any sleep that way. My first child started out in a bassinet next to the bed for about the first 5 weeks, then went into his crib across the hall. He started sleeping through the night reliably at about 10 weeks. It was great.

My second, though, was premature and wouldn't sleep anywhere but ON me, and then only in little spurts. So for months, I spent my nights propped up by pillows with a tiny, tiny little baby curled up on my chest. I was so sleep deprived it was ridiculous. He was close to 9 months old before he would sleep in his crib at night, and probably more like a year before he'd do it at naptime. Now, at 3, he's a good sleeper, though.

(They're right, though, when they say you don't remember the sacrifices nearly as much as the sweetness ... the baby phase with the preemie was NOT fun at the time, but all I think about anymore is how cute and little and snuggly he was.)

 

[Cheapjack]

I say goodnight to my goldfish.

 

[KimMH]

^^awwwww . . . .

We got much less sleep than the babies but we often co-slept with both of ours without apparent harm. I think it's fine as long as no one is in danger of getting poked in the eye or something.

 

[RevDMV]

We co-slept, well really co-awaked, with our first. He had some horrible colic issues that took us several years to work out. Keeping him with us allowed us to tend to him the best we could. Even now at 10 he's a big snuggle bunny and loves a chance to sleep next to one of us.

Our youngest, would have no part of it, and has slept away from us pretty much from the beginning.

So in the end the usual answer is everyone and every kid is different and non one answer fits.

 

[Mr Awe]

There was an influential children expert in Sweden around the time as was born, who said it would harm the child in the long run (Mentally, not physically) to sleep in the same bed as the parents, so I slept in my own bed from the start.

Interestingly, though not proven, my little brother slept with my parents when new-born, and he much more often went into their room to sleep when he got scared, etc, later. And for a far longer time, as well.

No, there's no evidence that it harms kids mentally. I'm talking scientific research evidence rather than what some "expert" believes.

Mr Awe

 

[Mary Ann]

I never co-slept because I'm a horribly light sleeper and would wake up with every little grunt babies make. So my children slept in their own cot in their own room from day 1. My oldest slept through the night at 8 weeks, my second at 11 weeks, and my youngest at 12 weeks, despite being a sickly baby. We were lucky because all our babies were good self-soothers and were happy to get to sleep by themselves, but some babies need to co-sleep with their parents to settle. I know several people who co-slept and it worked well for them, so it all depends of what works best for babies and parents, as RevDMV said. The only child who ever came to our bed was our youngest son when he was 3, but he was such a loud snorer that I'd have to carry him back to his own bed because I couldn't sleep. He himself was such a heavy sleeper that he never woke up during transport.

 

[bluedana]

I co-slept with the second and third because I was too lazy to get up and get them to nurse. But my preference was to have the kid in the bassy next to the bed.

 

[Guartho]

We didn't intend to, but we ended up co-sleeping with our daughter. Sometimes it was the only way any of us got any sleep. She only fell out of the bed twice as I recall.