Close calls or nearly put my foot in my mouth

[FPAlpha]

So this evening at work i nearly made an ass of myself.

I have this (female) boss and she's a lesbian.. openly out, very friendly person and a very competent boss.. i like her very much.

I have this other colleague, a young woman in her early 20s and a face to die for (even if she's a bit too thin for my taste) and also very likeable and we get along very well.

Now after New Years she comes in one morning happy as anything (extremely happy for 5am) and we chat for a while before i had to finish some work. My replacement arrives and they both chat and i hear bits and pieces "about waiting a bit because the office and company will talk" and i think to myself.. "Allright.. new boyfriend it is" and put it away.

So this evening, everyone has already left i took the chance and asked her directly what that was about last week and she told me she got together with the lesbian boss.

For whatever reason i keep my mouth shut instead of "Haha.. good one! Is it this guy i saw you in the cafeteria with?" and went on my business.

Later i asked a colleague if this were true since i didn't want to make a fool of myself and he confirmed it.. i worked the night shift last week so missed the general announcement but i'm happy i kept my mouth shut but am also surprised they both took the leap but i'm happy for them (and happy for me for not making a public ass out of me )

So what are your close calls (at work or elsewhere)?

 

[Robert Maxwell]

More than once, I've called transsexual individuals by the wrong gender pronoun. Felt bad every time.

My girlfriend has several trans friends and I told her she needs to warn me beforehand so I don't refer to someone the wrong way. If I'm going to offend someone, I'd rather it be intentional.

 

[Robert D. Robot]

More than once, I've called transsexual individuals by the wrong gender pronoun. Felt bad every time.

My girlfriend has several trans friends and I told her she needs to warn me beforehand so I don't refer to someone the wrong way. If I'm going to offend someone, I'd rather it be intentional.

This seems -to me- an unfortunate, yet a very understandable mistake.

ALSO- most of us would not have the benefit of a warning from your girlfriend if we met any of your girlfriend's transgender friends and any one of us might likely also use the wrong gender pronoun. Although I, too, would feel bad if I felt I hurt someone's feelings, I would hope that the transgender person would be understanding of my unintentional mistake in this situation.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

More than once, I've called transsexual individuals by the wrong gender pronoun. Felt bad every time.

My girlfriend has several trans friends and I told her she needs to warn me beforehand so I don't refer to someone the wrong way. If I'm going to offend someone, I'd rather it be intentional.

This seems -to me- an unfortunate, yet a very understandable mistake.

ALSO- most of us would not have the benefit of a warning from your girlfriend if we met any of your girlfriend's transgender friends and any one of us might likely also use the wrong gender pronoun. Although I, too, would feel bad if I felt I hurt someone's feelings, I would hope that the transgender person would be understanding of my unintentional mistake in this situation.

Oh, they're all really nice about it, as long as they know you aren't doing it intentionally.

There are some people who do it deliberately because they're assholes.

 

[Goliath]

So what are your close calls (at work or elsewhere)?

Many times, I have typed out a post here at TrekBBS, and then, instead of clicking "Submit Reply," I've clicked the Back button instead.

I've been sorry for some of the things I've posted here. But I've never been sorry for anything that I haven't posted.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

So what are your close calls (at work or elsewhere)?

Many times, I have typed out a post here at TrekBBS, and then, instead of clicking "Submit Reply," I've clicked the Back button instead.

I've been sorry for some of the things I've posted here. But I've never been sorry for anything that I haven't posted.

If you use Chrome, there's a plugin called Lazarus that will save the contents of your textareas, in case something like that happens. It is also available for Firefox and probably other browsers.

 

[Kestra]

So what are your close calls (at work or elsewhere)?

Many times, I have typed out a post here at TrekBBS, and then, instead of clicking "Submit Reply," I've clicked the Back button instead.

I've been sorry for some of the things I've posted here. But I've never been sorry for anything that I haven't posted.

If you use Chrome, there's a plugin called Lazarus that will save the contents of your textareas, in case something like that happens. It is also available for Firefox and probably other browsers.

I think he might have meant he's done it on purpose? Like, had second thoughts about posting what he has just written. I have done that many times, mostly because I doubt myself a lot and make myself insecure.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

Many times, I have typed out a post here at TrekBBS, and then, instead of clicking "Submit Reply," I've clicked the Back button instead.

I've been sorry for some of the things I've posted here. But I've never been sorry for anything that I haven't posted.

If you use Chrome, there's a plugin called Lazarus that will save the contents of your textareas, in case something like that happens. It is also available for Firefox and probably other browsers.

I think he might have meant he's done it on purpose? Like, had second thoughts about posting what he has just written. I have done that many times, mostly because I doubt myself a lot and make myself insecure.

Oh, duh. I must be the only idiot who does that by accident, then.

 

[Kestra]

Safari randomly closes on my iPad sometimes and I'm returned to the home screen. When I open up Safari again, my post is gone. Not that it's ever been a great loss.

 

[Goliath]

Oh, duh. I must be the only idiot who does that by accident, then.

No, I've done it by accident too. You're not alone, by any means.

But in this case, I meant "on purpose."

Thanks for the tip, anyway.

 

[TorontoTrekker]

More than once, I've called transsexual individuals by the wrong gender pronoun. Felt bad every time.

My girlfriend has several trans friends and I told her she needs to warn me beforehand so I don't refer to someone the wrong way. If I'm going to offend someone, I'd rather it be intentional.

This seems -to me- an unfortunate, yet a very understandable mistake.

ALSO- most of us would not have the benefit of a warning from your girlfriend if we met any of your girlfriend's transgender friends and any one of us might likely also use the wrong gender pronoun. Although I, too, would feel bad if I felt I hurt someone's feelings, I would hope that the transgender person would be understanding of my unintentional mistake in this situation.

Oh, they're all really nice about it, as long as they know you aren't doing it intentionally.

Some will be nice, some won't. I have a close friend - someone I've known for nearly ten years - who seemed to think that everyone should immediately be able to switch pronouns without missing a beat. I explained that "he" and "she" are words that we don't really think about when we're saying them, and having said one for years, it was going to take a little time to program my brain to automatically use the other one. (It took me a few months - during those months, I probably slipped about ten times.) I'm not sure if she really accepted that, though. I've heard her snap at other people who haven't known her as long as I have and who don't see her as often as I do.

There are some people who do it deliberately because they're assholes.

True, and there are also people who don't make any kind of effort because they're mentally lazy. My friend and I know someone like that - he just doesn't seem to understand at all. (There are a lot of things he doesn't understand, though... I've never met someone as clueless as he is about as many things that he should know.)

 

[Captain Ice]

Safari randomly closes on my iPad sometimes and I'm returned to the home screen. When I open up Safari again, my post is gone. Not that it's ever been a great loss.

It's the great god Steve Jobs getting even with you.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

This seems -to me- an unfortunate, yet a very understandable mistake.

ALSO- most of us would not have the benefit of a warning from your girlfriend if we met any of your girlfriend's transgender friends and any one of us might likely also use the wrong gender pronoun. Although I, too, would feel bad if I felt I hurt someone's feelings, I would hope that the transgender person would be understanding of my unintentional mistake in this situation.

Oh, they're all really nice about it, as long as they know you aren't doing it intentionally.

Some will be nice, some won't. I have a close friend - someone I've known for nearly ten years - who seemed to think that everyone should immediately be able to switch pronouns without missing a beat. I explained that "he" and "she" are words that we don't really think about when we're saying them, and having said one for years, it was going to take a little time to program my brain to automatically use the other one. (It took me a few months - during those months, I probably slipped about ten times.) I'm not sure if she really accepted that, though. I've heard her snap at other people who haven't known her as long as I have and who don't see her as often as I do.

There are some people who do it deliberately because they're assholes.

True, and there are also people who don't make any kind of effort because they're mentally lazy. My friend and I know someone like that - he just doesn't seem to understand at all. (There are a lot of things he doesn't understand, though... I've never met someone as clueless as he is about as many things that he should know.)

It's easier if you first meet that person while they're already transitioning, true. My friend that I've known for over 10 years is transitioning F2M, and every so often I almost call him by the wrong name/pronoun. But he knows I'm not being a deliberate jerk about it.

 

[JarodRussell]

So this evening at work i nearly made an ass of myself.

I have this (female) boss and she's a lesbian.. openly out, very friendly person and a very competent boss.. i like her very much.

I have this other colleague, a young woman in her early 20s and a face to die for (even if she's a bit too thin for my taste) and also very likeable and we get along very well.

Now after New Years she comes in one morning happy as anything (extremely happy for 5am) and we chat for a while before i had to finish some work. My replacement arrives and they both chat and i hear bits and pieces "about waiting a bit because the office and company will talk" and i think to myself.. "Allright.. new boyfriend it is" and put it away.

So this evening, everyone has already left i took the chance and asked her directly what that was about last week and she told me she got together with the lesbian boss.

For whatever reason i keep my mouth shut instead of "Haha.. good one! Is it this guy i saw you in the cafeteria with?" and went on my business.

Later i asked a colleague if this were true since i didn't want to make a fool of myself and he confirmed it.. i worked the night shift last week so missed the general announcement but i'm happy i kept my mouth shut but am also surprised they both took the leap but i'm happy for them (and happy for me for not making a public ass out of me )

So what are your close calls (at work or elsewhere)?

The interesting thing is that this has nothing to do with her being lesbian, a comment like this would have been pretty stupid any way.

 

[propita]

Safari randomly closes on my iPad sometimes and I'm returned to the home screen. When I open up Safari again, my post is gone. Not that it's ever been a great loss.

That happens to me, too. It didn't use to. Update glitch, I presume.

As to the thread topic...I've had close calls. Many. So many I can't remember. But that's actually an improvement. I didn't used to catch any of them. "Blunt" was the term people used. Others tried "honest." I plead ignorance and obliviousness. I'm told I might've been a bit aspie when I was younger, now just traces.

 

[RJDiogenes]

I talk to a lot of patients on the phone and can usually tell whether it is the male or female partner on the policy by the voice. Doesn't always work, though, and several times I've gotten it wrong.

Oh, duh. I must be the only idiot who does that by accident, then.

That's easy to do. Luckily, on Firefox, you can usually recover the post by scrolling through the history if you don't wait too long.

 

[Theodore Jay Miller]

At a sci-fi convention, I saw a guy using this gadget that made his voice come out with a buzzy robotic sound. Fortunately, I did not makke the comment about it being an interesting toy, since it turned out to be an electrolarynx, used by people who've had their larynx removed due to cancer.

 

[LitmusDragon]

There a lady friend of mine who does social work for people with mental disabilities and I have to be very careful not to drop the "retarded" bomb around her. I guess that's pretty classless of me to use that phrase anyway but it was something that we all said where I come from and didn't mean anything by it except people being stupid.

 

[Finn]

^thats the problem- "stupid"