Clean underwear a must: Jesus coming in May!

[Clamp]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/01/01/BA8V1AV589.DTL&feed=rss.news

So the world's going to end, we're all going to die, yada yada yada...

You might say, but Dave.., Chuck.., sfdebris.., whatever your name is, we knew this already. 2012, death, fire, pain, all that stuff. I have it scheduled in right between tennis with Chaz and my spa treatment with Buffy, though that may have to cancel.

But no, I say! You haven't as much time as you thought. No, I say! (again). The world ends in May, I say! of 2011, no less.

Harold Camping lets out a hearty chuckle when he considers the people who believe the world will end in 2012.
"That date has not one stitch of biblical authority," Camping says​

Not one stitch!

The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.

.
.

One night a few years ago, Camping, a civil engineer by trade, crunched the numbers and was stunned at what he'd found: The world will end May 21, 2011.​

But... but...

On Sept. 6, 1994, dozens of Camping's believers gathered inside Alameda's Veterans Memorial Building to await the return of Christ, an event Camping had promised for two years. Followers dressed children in their Sunday best and held Bibles open-faced toward heaven.
But the world did not end.
​

Dudes a fake!

Camping allowed that he may have made a mathematical error.

Whew. Hey, we're all human. Glad you got it right this time.

"We are now translated into 48 languages and have been transmitting into China on an AM station without getting jammed once," Camping said. "How can that happen without God's mercy?"
​

Amen. Based on this rocksolid argument, I beleive Richard Dawkins just renounced athiesim.
----

Anyway, what are you going to do with these last few months, especially since we all thought we had almost two years left. That's a lot of craming to do!

And more seriously, how big must one's balls be to predict the end of the world.... AFTER you've already make a prediction of the end of the world that didn't happen!!! They must be HUGE! Hey NASA, can't figure out the Pioneer anomoly? Might wanna check into the gravitational forces caused by this guys BALLS!
​

 

[Robert Maxwell]

These self-styled eschatologists make me lol.

 

[Mike Farley]

Did he take into account the difference between a Solar Day and a Sidereal Day? His calculations could be off by thousands of years!!!!!

 

[Sector 7]

Mark 13:32 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

Does this guy believe he knows more than Jesus?

Matthew 7:15 "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves."

Camping is condemned by the Word of God, 'nuff said.

 

[TrickyDickie]

Don't wear underwear. Simple, no worries.

 

[RandyS]

I'll return to this thread on May 12, 2011.

 

[JiNX-01]

One night a few years ago, Camping, a civil engineer by trade, crunched the numbers and was stunned at what he'd found: The world will end May 21, 2011.

I'll return to this thread on May 12, 2011.

Are you dyslexic or just getting a jump on things?​

 

[Brian]

Mark 13:32 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

Does this guy believe he knows more than Jesus?

My fundie roommate in college said that verse was a charge from God to know the year, month and week (and to try like fuck not to figure out the day or the hour, lest you be punished for your hubris), so he had it all figured out. The world will end the second week of September. In 1988.

 

[Clamp]

Mark 13:32 "No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

Does this guy believe he knows more than Jesus?

My fundie roommate in college said that verse was a charge from God to know the year, month and week (and to try like fuck not to figure out the day or the hour, lest you be punished for your hubris), so he had it all figured out. The world will end the second week of September. In 1988.

That's good...

I'm still trying to figure out....

How does God know but Jesus doesn't? Aren't they both God? It's so confusing

 

[Guitarded]

The Trinity can be a confusing concept for a lot of people (even Christians). Discussing it will probably set up a whole new debate worthy of its own thread.

 

[Clamp]

^No energy for that today.

 

[ancientone51]

Of course I'll have clean underwear on. But can someine give me a bit nore of the dress code for something like this? Should I be casual or more formal? Are jeans appropriate for meeting one's maker? Should we be formal, I mean it is the Big Guy himself?

If it doesn't happen in May '11 I can always add a sweater or coat for Dec '12 depending upon weather at the time.

 

[sojourner]

^Just the underwear. Nothing more.

 

[RandyS]

One night a few years ago, Camping, a civil engineer by trade, crunched the numbers and was stunned at what he'd found: The world will end May 21, 2011.

I'll return to this thread on May 12, 2011.

Are you dyslexic or just getting a jump on things?​

What I am is a moron for not catching that typo. I meant to say May 22, obviously.

 

[Itisnotlogical]

The Bible states that nobody can know the date of Rapture. So no matter how many calculations these guys do they're always going to be wrong.

I wonder if God's had to re-schedule Armageddon because somebody guessed right before and He had to prove them wrong...

 

[Guitarded]

I wonder if God's had to re-schedule Armageddon because somebody guessed right before and He had to prove them wrong...

I've wondered the same thing myself.

 

[Clamp]

I wonder if God's had to re-schedule Armageddon because somebody guessed right before and He had to prove them wrong...

If that's the case, I predict every day, from today until the end of eternity.

IN YO FACE, GOD!

 

[Brian]

All you need is clean underwear. Everyone will be provided with a white robe and golden lyre, once they pass through the full-body scanners.

 

[Mary Ann]

All you need is clean underwear. Everyone will be provided with a white robe and golden lyre, once they pass through the full-body scanners.

With the creepier angels doing the pat-downs.

 

[Brian]

Fred Phelps, for one. Somehow, I think he'll enjoy it.