Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross.

[Danoz]

Just never his own.

Chuck Norris thread. RULES: You may only post one. Once one has been posted, it cannot be reposted. You are welcome to invent new ones (if it is your own concoction, let us know).

Proceed.

 

[SilentP]

Mr T once beat Chuck Norris at Tic Tac Toe. In retaliation, Chuck Norris invented racism.

(Not my own creation, just one I pulled from my '400 Facts about Chuck Norris' book )

 

[Scout101]

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

(This one was picked out by Chuck Norris himself as one of his favorites )

 

[JonathonWally]

Man, I miss Barren's chat from back in the day. Other old school WoW players will feel me.


Chuck Norris doesn't sleep, he waits.

 

[Middle Earther]

Chuck Norris uses tobasco sauce as eye drops.

(not my own)

 

[Scout101]

Ok, since you're limiting us to a single Chuck Norris-ism, I feel like I have to share my favorite Jack Bauer saying as well:

"Los Angeles once renamed a street in honor of Jack Bauer, and the several times he has put his life on the line to protect the city, but they had to change it back after dozens of pedestrians were run down by cars. As it turns out, no one crosses Jack Bauer and lives."

 

[SmoothieX]

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

(not mine)

 

[TheSeeker]

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep everynight he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

[TheGodBen]

Chuck Norris has a big penis.

Wait, I'm not doing this right, am I?

 

[Middle Earther]

Chuck Norris killed two stones with one bird.

 

[captcalhoun]

Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas

 

[Lowdarzz]

When Chuck Norris does a push up he's actually pushing the Earth down.

 

[captcalhoun]

they tried adding Chuck Norris to Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn't tough enough for his chin

 

[TheSeeker]

When Chuck Norris falls in the water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

 

[SPOCKED]

Captain Robau has to ask Chuck Norris for permission to tinkle.

 

[All Seeing Eye]

Chuck Norris once broke the land speed record on a bicycle that was missing its chain and the back tire.

 

[captcalhoun]

there's only one person who can outfight Chuck Norris: Bruce Lee.

 

[Shatmandu]

Chuck Norris' overly-manicured beard makes him look like a homosexual.

Joe, van dyked

 

[Sakrysta]

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

 

[Kirkman1987]

Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.