Choose Wisely, My Friend...

[Spock's Barber]

In Corbomite Manuever, Bailey was given the opportunity to experience hanging out with Balok for what appears to be the whole series run of TOS. Given the same chance, which TOS alien race would you like to be shipped off to in order to 'exchange information, culture', as Balok termed it?

 

[Herbert]

Green Orion women please

 

[Phaser Two]

Personal attaché to Deela, Queen of Scalos

 

[ZapBrannigan]

They aren't aliens, but I would spend my time with Flint and Rayna. You've got a big but comfy mansion complete with art gallery, a pool table, flat screen TVs, and a liquor cabinet. Flint's life would be an endless source of first-hand history and manly stories. Rayna would give piano lessons and teach me how to dance real slow. I'd ask her about gravitational theory to break the ice.

Best of all, I'd be a lot safer sheltering with Flint, whose whole life is about shelter now, than beaming down to dangerous planets with Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, all of whom have plot armor while I do not.

 

[Herbert]

Personal attaché to Deela, Queen of Scalos

That job will burn you out

 

[Phaser Two]

That job will burn you out

That’s okay.

 

[scotpens]

The Vulcans. I think and talk just like they do.

. . . Rayna would give piano lessons and teach me how to dance real slow.

But does she believe in rock 'n' roll?

 

[DonIago]

The Tholians seemed like one of the more alien races we got to see during the series...and I'd almost say the more we learned about them subsequently, the more alien they became. Getting to know more about them would be nifty.

The environmental issues, though... If I have to wear a protective suit the whole time, nevermind.

Can I hang out with the space hippies, but not get dragged into their dumbass quest for Eden?

...wow, I just imagined them going to Sha Ka Ree for a second there... "Damn God, you're a total Herbert..."

 

[Kronos]

The Melkotians, reclusive, referring to everyone else as "Aliens"

I'm there.

 

[ZapBrannigan]

But does she believe in rock 'n' roll?

Can music save her robo-soul?

 

[Balok's Decoy]

I'd want to study Vulcan philosophy on P'Jem.

 

[Poltargyst]

...wow, I just imagined them going to Sha Ka Ree for a second there... "Damn God, you're a total Herbert..."

 

[Poltargyst]

I think living with the Vulcans would be damn interesting, but I bet I would get sick of all the logic after a while.

 

[Spock's Barber]

I think living with the Vulcans would be damn interesting, but I bet I would get sick of all the logic after a while.

That sounds logical.

 

[Poltargyst]

That sounds logical.

Logic! Logic! I'm sick to death of logic! Do you want to know how I feel about your logic?

 

[ZapBrannigan]

I can't think of any planet that would be more boring than Vulcan, but it does have a low crime rate and good schools.

 

[Poltargyst]

Risa.

 

[Spock's Barber]

I can't think of any planet that would be more boring than Vulcan, but it does have a low crime rate and good schools.

.....but when the boys hit the Vulcan disco, no one can stop them.

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[Lost Archon]

Although not an alien, I would volunteer to go to Stratos and Droxine.

 

[Marsden]

I'd take a job as The Spore's greeter/host like Mr. Rourke at the health spa on Omicron Ceti III. Enjoy your stay, regrow your appendix, and when it's time to leave Tatto will annoy you so much you'll be back to normal to go.