No frakkin way that's true. Unless she is going to a complete quack.
Brief background: I was very sick when I was young - had ruptured appendix and nearly died. Had extremely high fever and the doctors used all kinds of drugs to keep me alive, lower my fever, etc. As it turns out, this effected all of my adult teeth, which were just coming in at the time. So I ended up with decalcification, and as a result, lots of dental work throughout my lifetime. So although I am not a dentist by any means, I have spent a lot more time in the dentist chair than your average person (numerous fillings, 3 crowns, 2 root canals, 4x per year periodontics-type cleanings), and sort of got educated as a result.
They use the drill to get all the decay out of your tooth. They have to do this. If they don't - if they just fill in the cavity as your friend described, your tooth will rot from the inside out, pretty much.
I go to a dental office which prides itself on being very high tech...and they still drill. I don't have any new cavities, but we are in the process of replacing fillings that are years (decades) old and that in some cases have begun to 'leak' (not a good thing - great place for decay to build up). What they do when I go in to get a filling replaced is shoot me up with novocaine (hard core, too - I don't muck about with only one shot - I want to be NUMB), drill to remove the old filling and any new decay, put some stuff into the tooth (I think it's to deaden the nerves inside the tooth or something), and then put the filling in over that. Then they drill some more on the top to get the bite right (they make me bite down on these little carbon paper looking things to tell where they need to shave the filling).
If you get the correct amount of novocaine (I am normally numb until dinner time, if I go in at 11 am), it's not painful at all. The noise and the vibrations still suck and I'm white knuckles holding on to the chair arms. But it's not painful. They even deaden the inside of your mouth with some gel before they give you the novocaine shot so you barely feel it. And they would give me gas too, if I wanted it, but I don't like that stuff.
I would really go in if I was you. I get that you don't like it (who does?), but if you keep on as you are, you are only going to compound any problems you might have. What might be fixed with a filling now could end up being a root canal later. And while in my experience, root canals are not as bad as their rep suggests....they are still ghastly.