Cardassian input needed

[Ainhoa]

For all you cool Cardassian fans. I am going to write a fanfiction based around Damars wife. Their life through her eyes. I have gotten bored of writing about Harry Potter so I need fresh ideas and new imput. I have my basic ideas ready but what I really need to know is.
How do military men meet their mates if they are on duty a lot of the time? I don`t want to go along the lines of an arranged marriage so other ideas.
Ages to get married. I have it in my head that she is a little younger than he is.
Parents attitudes. Do parents have a say in the choice of mate.
Do they get time off to set up home, go on honeymoon etc?
Other ideas and suggestions are so welcome.

 

[Iliana Malek]

My dad was actually in the Army, and met my mom while he was stationed in Germany. She was 17 and he was 20, but really, people in the military can be any age, especially for career military. My dad made a great deal of effort to impress his new in-laws, like learning German, spending time with my mom's parents, etc.
In Cardassian culture, with how important family is, I would expect that soldiers that are marrying would definitely be allotted a certain amount of leave time for whatever ceremonies are involved, honeymoon time, setting up a household, etc. I could also see there being some sort of a 'bonus' for married officers, like extra leave time each year, better benefits, etc.
I would say that parents would generally want their children to 'marry up', to advance their political or military aspirations. If they were marrying someone of equal station, I could see it being a "well, alright, but you could do better" sort of thing, but they would probably frown up marrying someone of a lower station.
I always wondered about the Cardassian marriage ceremony, what it would involve, etc. Would there be any Hebitian influences left in it, or would it be a purely secular affair? I could see it involving combining the families, rather than focusing on just marrying the individuals.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

One option is in the "academy," if they're both officers. Another option is if Damar was in a "normal" college instead, where he was also able to get his commission as an officer (which can be done in the US), where he'd be exposed to all kinds of people.

Another option is that he could've been dating in high school, and got married as soon as it was legal.

Now that I know you're writing your own fanfic, I don't want to "push" you in any one direction or another--only give you different options that I know can happen.

 

[Ainhoa]

Don`t worry about being pushy. All ideas are welcome as I said.
What I have in my head is that they are the same social class but her family is larger than his. So I would imagine that her father would want her to marry up rather than to a man the same as her. Damar, I imagine, sees in her what he wants. Young, fertile (because that`s so important) smart etc.
So many ideas but I am a bit inarticulate at the moment.

 

[Ainhoa]

The wedding ceremony would be interesting. If marriage is so important than maybe they would have a big party. I like the idea of having some Hebitian influences in some ways but since it`s illegal on Cardassia I don`t really know to what extent.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I think you could consider looking at places like the Soviet Union, China, or France during the Revolution/Reign of Terror for examples of different ways things could happen in forcibly secularized societies. Spain's own history with the franquistas could also offer clues.

 

[Ainhoa]

I think you could consider looking at places like the Soviet Union, China, or France during the Revolution/Reign of Terror for examples of different ways things could happen in forcibly secularized societies. Spain's own history with the franquistas could also offer clues.

That`s true. Franco`s Spain would have a lot of differences to Cardassia. It was highly religious. Women`s roles were only in the home. The love of the family would be a big similarity though. As well as national pride.
There is a little bit of everything in Cardassia. So I don`t want to base it all on one culture.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

To add some ideas: they could meet through someone, a common friend, on a some kind of social event. Damar might be on duty a lot of time, but he had to be back home once in a while and a while to know someone (and then can't stop thinking about him/her ). Two of my characters met in a tram And she was the one to start a conversation

So anything is possible.

Shame I don't know how my parents met--my dad was in the army at that time too and stationed far from home--so I can't offer a RL example.

 

[Ainhoa]

I like your lines of thinking.

 

[Gul Re'jal]

I'm not a romantic, but there's a lot of love in my fanfic. And since I write Cardassian fanfic, there's a lot of Cardassian love

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

My dad was in the military. But he was in ROTC, so he attended a normal college while going through his officer training, and that's where he met my mom (a civilian). Don't know if that's even an option on Cardassia, but I at least thought I'd throw it out there as one more option.

Ainhoa--I though the franquistas destroyed churches, attacked priests, etc., that there was an anti-religious element to their revolution.

(BTW--off-subject, I saw in your profile that you're an English teacher. Are you from Spain originally, or an English-speaking country?)

 

[{ Emilia }]

Ainhoa--I though the franquistas destroyed churches, attacked priests, etc., that there was an anti-religious element to their revolution.

Exactly the opposite. Franco's reign was a good example for clerical-fascism (nacional-catolicismo). Many church officials held important offices in Spain during the Franco era.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

I seem to remember someone in Spain doing those things, though...I'm trying to remember all of this from a Spanish history class I took several years ago, and all I really remember is that there was one pro-religious party and one anti-religious party, and both got really violent.

 

[Nightdiamond]

I can't remember the title or who wrote it, but I once read a piece of fanfic about letters between a Cardassian soldier and his wife during the Dominion War.

They were found in the ruins of Cardassia, and focused on the wife's complaints about life on Cardassia during the war and the treatment of Cardassian civilians.

The husband's letters told about life on the war front, and constant encouragement to be loyal.

It was moving and a great read, and would have adapted perfectly to film.

 

[TerokNor]

My father was in the marine (navy) and for him and my mother it was the way, that they met well before he ever considdered joining there. They met as children, living near each other and became a couple at age 14.
So who knows, maybe Damar could have known his wife for a very long time too. I could imagine that he married out of love, but I think with Dukat coming along and focusing Damars mind on him the releationship with his wife might have suffered already there...and than of course later, when Damar drinks more and more heavy, has the mistresses and such (I do not think he had misstresses before his time as leader, he is so loyal, he would have been also loyal to his wife... what dirves him to cheat on her his loneliness and hoplessness)...

As for the marriage cermony...hmm..smehow I don´t think it wuld like iin our world revolve around the couple, but be more something that puts the families in the middle, because as we know staate and family is more important than the individual in Cardassia. I could also imagine, that there is no speech like, love each other in good times and bad time, but more someting, were they get sworn to serve the staate and their families with their marriage (like having children). The whole affair would I think also not include games (like we have them with weddings, where the couple has to do this and that, like the last wedding I was at they had ballons in heart form and everyone wrote a card and then send them flying... this is too romantic and too much resources would be used)...

The parents would have something to say for sure. Without them agreeing to the wedding I do not think there would be a wedding. Love or no love. If the parents are against it, the son or daughter has to accept it.
Also could imagine that the parents arrange things like were the couple will live... probably in either the daghters or sons family, no extra place. Somehow I also don´t think they have honeymoons.

Oh and Nerys, you remember right, there were people in the spanish civil war that destroyed churches, but these were the ones fighting against Franco. No expert on Spain *L*, but recently saw a movie (Song for a raggy boy), that had a character in it, that faught against Franco and the movie seems quite realistic made, also in terms of historic events.

TerokNor

 

[Ainhoa]

My dad was in the military. But he was in ROTC, so he attended a normal college while going through his officer training, and that's where he met my mom (a civilian). Don't know if that's even an option on Cardassia, but I at least thought I'd throw it out there as one more option.

Ainhoa--I though the franquistas destroyed churches, attacked priests, etc., that there was an anti-religious element to their revolution.

(BTW--off-subject, I saw in your profile that you're an English teacher. Are you from Spain originally, or an English-speaking country?)

I`m from Ireland so I am a native speaker. I am living in Spain with my Spanish boyfriend so that`s my location.

As regards to the Spanish dictatorship, it`s a Spanish thing, as an outsider I feel I can`t talk about it.

 

[Ainhoa]

I agree with you TerokNor. The parents would have a big say. If they didn`t like their child`s choice they would have a lot of sway in their opinion.
Having no family in the army, I have no idea how life is like for an army wife.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Ainhoa--I was going to say, you sounded like either a native speaker or a Spaniard who was really good at English.

 

[Ainhoa]

Thanks Nerys.But, I think I speak Spanglish now. I hear my students making the same mistakes and I start to make them as well lol.