Caption Contest 7: Fie or Flee

[Triskelion]

Well another week's passed, and time for a new contest. This week's winners have gone the extra mile to entertain (disturb).

First up, the unfailingly entertaining poster Nerys Myk. Ours is not to question why, ours is but to read and die (laughing):

HOSHI: For the last time! This is not "The Chattanooga Choo-choo" and I can't "give you a shine'!

The second caption comes to us from a new winner. It was hard choosing just one winner this week from Apogeal Alpha01!

Cromwell: "Amway will become the greatest force in the Universe"

The third caption comes to us from none other than Rat Boy, captioner extraordinnaire and giver of new life to dead horses. How could this one not win?

Space suit guy on the right: "Too bad they didn't go with the sombrero idea."

I should mention Nerys Myk's White Zone / Red Zone nearly topped it but I know he wouldn't want to be greedy with the extra Big Top points.


The final caption was brought to us by the letter O, the number 5, and the seditious mind of SFRabid:

Archer: "It is a sentient being called a Founder. The Vulcans say that it came here to destroy Enterprise canon."

And not to add to the trophy inflation, but I couldn't resist awarding both a Photoshop award and a Multi-Caption award to these entries. The first is from Skywalker, and less is truly more:

"Aw, ****."

And the Multi-Cap award goes to the poster who must have forgotten his meds this week, Nebusj:

``And to the right, you should see an exciting view of the Xindi Death Beam bearing down directly on us --- oh, uhm ... oops.''

``Hi. I'm Zephram Cochrane. I bet you're all wondering why on this historic occasion I invited Yo-Yo Ma and a riverboat gambler from 1885 to stand behind me.''

``All right, all right. I owe you five bucks. I still say that just because it's a spaceship and we're in spacesuits doesn't mean we have to be in space is all.''

``Cap'n, I had the weirdest dream where this spacetime anomaly left me a gelatinous goo.''
``Well, rest your mind, Trip. You're not gelatinous.''

Someone's oxygen mix is running a little thin!


Congratulations and Salutations to all our winners! And as always, I really hate that I couldn't include so many more great captions, which we must admire from afar.

Your prize:

Your very own NX-01 & Flightsuit Patch!
Be the first on your block!


The next contest is from Fight or Flight, fie and flee some more:

Set new heading and engage!

 

[Triskelion]

Nothing pleased the crew like Bakula's one-man modern dance interpretation of Voyager: Threshold.

 

[Rat Boy]

"Aw, ****."

How did I miss that one? It's so subtle you could miss it if you're skimming the thread.

Archer: "Wait, don't tell me. The Vulcan Science Directorate doesn't believe canon exists, either."

Archer: "Must...get...better...pecks...than...Trip!"

Reed: "Okay, we're ready to lay down the guitar track."

Zoidberg hatchling: "Do you mind if you can get your doctor to give me some more toenail clippings? A feast is a feast, I tell you!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"WAIT.

Hold on a sec, T'Pol...

I'm waiting for the cake in my E-Z Bake Oven to finish."

"Hmmmm.

Travis WAS right.

You can get off when you're lonely by grinding against the deck plates housing plasma conduits."

"Bloody HELL!!

Game Over...dammit, at this rate I'll never wipe out all the Covenant troops and blow up the Halo!!"

HOSHI:"It's from Phlox.

It's one of his droppings. He thinks he ate something containing a vermicular parasite and wants me to watch for tiny little hatchlings."

 

[cooleddie74]

This is what it sounds like...when the dooooooooooves warp...

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Archer (to T'Pol): This is the position that got me my appointment to captain of the Enterprise.

Soto: Doctor, what is this?
Trip: Yeah, Doc, it's kinda weird looking.
Phlox: Oh that, it's just the captain's stool sample. I warned him not to eat too much of that alien fruit we brought back from the planet's surface.

 

[Kirby]

Archer: "... and see, the shadow now looks like a bunny. Wait, let me show you a butterfly, those are cool!"

T'Pol: "I hate these weekly meetings."

Archer: "... 99, 100!"

T'Pol: "Captain, I've been here the whole time, that was only 4 push-ups."

 

[cooleddie74]

"Just...just hold on for ONE more second, T'Pol.

I'm trying to catch the end of my Stories."

"Hmmmm...

Great Gazelle Archer track Suliban intruder...he now two moons west of this ready room...HEAP bad skin condition."

"Reed to Bridge...

Captain, it's useless. I keep punching the return buttons but the bloody game isn't giving me my quarters back. Request permission to blast open the coin casing?"

TRIP:"I know you wanna treasure the memory of your last good, solid meal from home, Hoshi...but don't ya think you should FLUSH that sunnuvabitch by now?

I still have to be able to eat, y'know."

 

[SFRabid]

Archer: "Wait. Take out lion and put in gazelle. This is going to be a great speech."

Archer thinking to himself: (I had no idea a Vulcan could slap so hard.)

Once again Malcolm amuses himself by increasing power to artificial gravity at the exact time Hosi steps on the bathroom scales.

Trip: "You named your slug?"
Hoshi: "I call him Brannon."

 

[Pensive]

Captain, the new Star Trek MMO will provide PERFECT practice simulations for future firefights with Klingons!

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Trip: You ever watch that old 20th century show seaQuest DSV?
Soto: Never heard of it.
Trip: It's about this submarine in the 21st century... they kinda wore uniforms like ours... anyway, there was this one episode where they find this underwater gemstone that turns out to be fish shit.
Soto: YUCK!
Phlox: Commander Tucker, will you please not make fun of my lunch!

 

[Skywalker]

"It's in the frakking ship!"

 

[Pensive]

PHLOX: (offscreen) what are you two doing?
HOSHI: We're running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive response.
TRIP: We sing to it, talk to it, say caring supportive things to it.
HOSHI: You're not *sleeping * with it, are you Trip?

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: And sign that "J. Archer, Commander NX-01" Now how 'bout you sit on daddy's lap and give me some sugar?


THWACK!!!!!!

ARCHER: Ouch, I gotta get me some new lines.

 

[Nerys Myk]

HOSHI: My parents don't approve, but sluggo and I are getting married any way.

 

[Triskelion]

- Shh! My hero and leadership model is on the screen.
- This movie is illogical, Captain. There's no Club, no Breakfast.

Do you know why I sleep on the corrugated floor T'Pol? So I can make headlines.

Trip: This Denobulan larva lamp sucks, Doc.
Phlox: Its visible wavelengths are psychotropic, Mr Tucker. Just ask Hoshi; she's been staring at it for ten hours now.
Hoshi: Flerb. Blugh.
Trip: Blugh. Flerb.

Guess what? I got a fever! And the only prescription - is more cowbell! Babies... Before we're done here... Y'all be wearing gold-plated diapers!

 

[LeadHead]

2 parter...

Wait... I have an idea on how to improve the series... more plots ripped out of bad voyager episodes...

Blalock didn't like Bakula's idea.

All this advanced technology and still the iPhone makes us look bad.

Trinneer: Who's that?
Park: My boyfriend, he plans on playing Picard's clone when he grows up.

 

[T'Lin]

Archer: Just one second T'Pol its getting to the good part.
T'Pol: That better not be the tape you made of us in decon!

Archer: aah I think I broke my back.
T'Pol: I told you breakdancing at your age was a foolish idea.

Reed: I hope they weren't missing it much I just wiped out UPN.

 

[Space Cowboy]

Archer: Ok T'Pol, I need you to get a bottle of Stolich, a tube of lube, and a pitching wedge.

Archer: And I'll be here on the deck until you get back with the toys.
T'Pol (thinking): That's the last time that I avoid Commander Tucker by claiming a dinner meeting with the captain.

 

[Diesel Micky Dolenz]

Archer: "... and from now on female yeomen are to wear mini-skirts, and crotchless panties. And the men... uh... the men..."

T'Pol: "Assless chaps, perhaps?"

Archer: "YES! Assless chaps... and when not in use the decon chamber can double as a bath house!"