Caption Contest 52: Today on Jerry Springer...

[cooleddie74]

REED: Sheeeesh, Trip.

Did you have to eat TWO vegetarian burritos last night?

(*Coughs*)

 

[star]

PHLOX: According to my bioscans of Commander Tucker, his skivvies appear to be the cause of the shipwide fever afflicting female crewmembers!

Archer: Well, well... what do you think about that, T'Pol?... T'Pol?.... Uh, T'Pol??

 

[Kirby]

He wasn't kidding when he said it's a low flow shower head.

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: Screw the shipwide drought.

I'm gonna have some fun.

 

[cooleddie74]

PHLOX: Curious.

Not only are Commander Tucker's testicles HUGE...but he also appears to be carrying a vestigial organ that might very well be related to his astonishing ability to assimilate so much of Chef's pecan pie!

 

[Vurok]

Captain Archer couldn't have picked a worse time to remember he is hydrophobic.

Trip: Get it off me! Get it off me! Get it... oooh... now that's pretty nice... Just leave it for a minute...

Malcolm: Er... Commander Tucker... could you look at this...
Trip: I see it... what are we going to do?
Malcolm: You're going to have to tell the Captain...
Trip: Me?!?! He'll throw me out the nearest airlock!

T'Pol: [off camera] Would you like me to convey the result of Stanford's latest defeat to the Captain?

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER: Well.

On the BRIGHT side, at least it wasn't the toilet.

TRIP: We done yet, Doc?

I've got to report to E Deck and model some beefy tees for Ensign Naymont and her friends.

TRIP:According to this readout, the plot is WAAAAAAY off track and headin' nowhere...fast!!

MALCOLM: BLOODY HELL!! The captain's NOT going to like this one bit!!

 

[cooleddie74]

ARCHER:Whew.

For a second I thought it was gonna turn into a GOLDEN shower.

 

[6079SmithW]

Archer: Dammit! Mayweather always turns off the gravity field at the worst times! Note to self: Don't give him a promotion for at least ten years.

 

[Rat Boy]

Archer: "Any higher and we're going to have to activate the censorship field."

Archer (thinking): One of these days we're going to have to tell Phlox that's a actually a spare torpedo tube. Don't want any accidents.

 

[6079SmithW]

Phlox: Look at the size of that thing!

Archer: Its got to be a foot long!

T'Pol: I can say from experience that it is exactly 30.48 centimeters long.

Archer and Phlox: (blank stares)

T'Pol: Er...I mean...Judging by the terminal readout I estimate it to be that long.

 

[Nerys Myk]

This one's done. Please proceed to the next contest.