Railing T'Pol is watching you thinking about masturbating.
caption contest 41: ur the wind beneath my nacelle caps
- Thread starter Triskelion
- Start date
Railing T'Pol is watching you thinking about masturbating.
T'Pol: "I'm sorry, Jon. I...I just don't pon that farr about you. Can't we just be friends?"
T'Pol springs the ancient Vulcan "black-eye" gag on Tucker...
Tucker (reading label): "'Acme Novelty Viewer. Press eyepiece firmly around eye to see the naked lady.' Hmm."
.
T'pol: "You're aware other crewmembers have pets too"
Archer: "I've seen them, yes"
T'pol: "It seems that I've lost Mr. Tucker's gerbil."
Archer: "No problem, I'll help you find it."
T'pol: "Thank you."
Archer: "Where's the last place you saw it?"
T'pol: "Up my ... um, near the 'aft airlock' yesterday evening."
Archer: "I'll get a flashlight."
T'pol: "Also a elbow length glove and some KY jelly."
Archer: " ...........
Trip: "Denobulan magic breast enlarger, heh heh."
T'pol: "That explains everything."
Trip: "By the time I'm through that vulcan slut will fall over forward."
T'pol: "I could stop him, but ... Hummmm "
T'girl
T'pol: "You're aware other crewmembers have pets too"
Archer: "I've seen them, yes"
T'pol: "It seems that I've lost Mr. Tucker's gerbil."
Archer: "No problem, I'll help you find it."
T'pol: "Thank you."
Archer: "Where's the last place you saw it?"
T'pol: "Up my ... um, near the 'aft airlock' yesterday evening."
Archer: "I'll get a flashlight."
T'pol: "Also a elbow length glove and some KY jelly."
Archer: " ...........
Trip: "Denobulan magic breast enlarger, heh heh."
T'pol: "That explains everything."
Trip: "By the time I'm through that vulcan slut will fall over forward."
T'pol: "I could stop him, but ... Hummmm "
T'girl
T'POL:"Alright...the Captain is distracted by the 3-D art graphic of the ship looking for the hidden penguin.
Quick...raid the ready room for all the valuable stuff you can find!!"
TRIP:"Cialis?
HEY...
I told you...
Sometimes Mr. Winky gets nervous on his first trip into a new canyon!"
T'POL:"The Captain's cold sore is enormous. It might be best to give him some privacy."
T'Pol: "Yes, Captain, I have made progress in my investigation into your missing dog. And I'm afraid my findings are going to be quite distressing to you...especially if you partook of Chef's 'traditional old-world Korean feast' last night..."
Archer's discovery that his prize beagle would one day be killed by a partially-drunk, walking stereotype of a Scotsman was too much for him.
He was never the same again, and transferred all command codes to T'Pol.
TRIP:"BEANO?
Damn. Guess servin' bean casserole in her quarters was a bad idea after all."
T'POL:"It is called saltpeter.
I recommend using it before our next date."
Laziest game of human-Vulcan hide and seek EVER.
T'Pol: "Captain, if I may make a suggestion?"
Archer: "Go ahead..."
T'Pol: "You need to get Porthos a proper mate. According to the crew rota, he's supposed to be having quality time with your leg on a Thursday night. But he just refuses to let go."
Archer: "Understood. I'm due on the bridge..."
T'Pol: "Captain. When you next see Ensign Mayweather, please relay this message for me...
Tell him I am not Porthos's beatch."
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T'Pol: And now, here to instruct you on proper diplomatic protocol for visiting this planet is Mr Robert Dinero.
T'Pol had mere seconds to hide Archer's present before the Captain turned around.
TRIP:"A vibrator?!
What the HELL are you tryin' to tell me, T'Pol?!"
Trip, thinking: A little bit of this arsenic in Archer's and T'Pol's dinners and I'll be the Captain of this ship.
Archer: DAMN! Those pesky Ghost Monsters got me again. T'Pol can I have another quarter?
The end is near.