Cap Con 88: One Night In Sickbay Makes A Hard Man Humble

[LeadHead]

T'Pol: It's getting hot in here... Isn't it?

Hoshi: Yeah... What do we do about it?

T'Pol: The Time is 0700 hours.

Archer wakes up.

Archer: Oh, Crap.

 

[Mr. Adventure]

Archer deals with the shame of the prime opportunity lost to erectile dysfunction in the very special episode "Broken Arrow".

 

[boco]

Sam Beckett: Oh, boy !!Al?What have I done to deserve this??

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Archer: As you can see, our new FrisbeeTron 5000 can cut even the most massive trees into easy-to-burn firewood in seconds. Only a hundred quatloos if you order in the next five minutes!

Kreetassan: We'll take a dozen.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Hoshi: "What d'ya think, T'Pol? Should we feel relieved that he doesn't have an erection, or insulted?"

 

[LeadHead]

T'Pol: I have won with a Straight Flush, Captain, and Porthos does not count as an article of clothing.

 

[Alrik]

Thanks for the Win!

Hoshi: "Captain, not bad."

T'Pol: "I remain unimpressed. Vulcans male's is split."

 

[boco]

Archer: Iswear, I once visited a plantet where the women had the ass this big

Archer: I'm tired of eating Hoshi's carrot soup, I'm going to get myself some meat!

Or

Archer: Soory, Phlox, the bat must die. I can't allow an animal with longer ears than my Porthos to live on my ship

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Archer: "Ladies, my eyes are up here!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Hoshi: Trip should have a look at the environmental systems. It's getting cold in here.

Archer: No rush, ladies...

 

[boco]

Like in most cases, Archer was exaggerating when he described to the aliens the sire of the human "equipment"

Two hot women, almost naked, and archer is touching the dog...hm..

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Hoshi: Trip should have a look at the environmental systems. It's getting cold in here.

Archer: No rush, ladies...

Hoshi: "No worries. We're both wearing band-aids for modesty's sake."
T'Pol: "Ensign Mayweather suggested it."
Archer: "That son of a...! As God as my witness, Ensign Mayweather will never make lieutenant as long as I have anything to say about it!"

 

[Finn]

Hoshi: Trip should have a look at the environmental systems. It's getting cold in here.

Archer: No rush, ladies...

Porthos: I hate shrinkage

 

[Schistocerca]

At that moment Captain Archer regretted offering Phlox a lick on his popsicle!

 

[Schistocerca]

At that moment Hoshi was very pleased she had offered Phlox a lick of her fudgesicle!

 

[boco]

T'pol: Captain,I see you're done with it, now it's our turn to use the decon..
Archer(thinking fast): Oh, err..I might be done with it, but Porthos isn't. I must stay with him to see that he behaves(to himself: and to see you two girls putting on gel on each other)

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kreetassan: So this is a "Captain's Log," then? I am not impressed.

 

[Alrik]

Archer (singing): "What d'ya want from me...what d'ya want from meeeeee..."

Kreetassan: "'That does it. Karaoke Tuesday is officially cancelled."

 

[Alrik]

Archer: "What d'ya say Polly. Wanna play with my beagle?"

T'Pol: "I would rather play with Hoshi's 'Pussy'."

Archer: "Kinky. Can I watch?"

Hoshi: "Pussy is my cat's name....perv."

 

[Alrik]

Trip: "Damn impresive Doc. Get it pierced and the girls'll never leave ya alone."