Boozing your way across the quadrant

[Kio]

If you don't read Modern Drunkard Magazine, this might be new to you.

http://www.moderndrunkardmagazine.com/issues/05_02/5_02_space winos.html

It's a look at the hard drinkers among the Federation's finest and the hooch they loved.

 

[chancellorjake]

There's a Modern Drunkard Magazine? Hmm, the things you learn on Trek BBS.
I don't really think the writer knows much about Star Trek, as he messes up some basic facts. Still, it's an interesting read.

Rant about Synthehol:

Real alcohol-based hooch is available for the right price -- even that tea-sipping, starship-surrendering ponce Picard has the bartender keep a bottle of real-deal Aldeberan Whiskey behind the bar for his own private use. Make no mistake though, just because his family owns a vineyard on Earth and he stashed some good stuff doesn’t mean he’s a latter-day Kirk. Examine this exchange with the young Wesley Crusher after the lad had tucked into a little hooch.
Wesley: So you mean I'm drunk! I feel strange, but also good.
Picard: (huffily putting aside his knitting) Because you have lost the capacity for self-judgment. Alcohol does this, Wesley!
Kirk would have challenged the upstart whelp to a Romulan Ale drinking contest, then hooked him up with an Orion slave girl.

Top Ten Signs Your Starship Captain is a Drunkard:

10.) When Spock mind probes him, Spock gets hammered.
9.) Wakes up next to a Klingon chick at least once a week.
8.) Starts the ship’s self-destruct sequence just to fuck with the yeoman who blew him off in the officer’s lounge.
7.) Each time you discover a new planet he tells Spock to scan the surface for cheap scotch and loose females.
6.) The first thing he says when negotiating with Romulans is, “So, what’s the ale situation?”
5.) McCoy tells him, “I’m a doctor, Jim, not a bartender!”
4.) He keeps slipping down to the engineering room to “discuss ancient Scottish traditions” with Scotty.
3.) Giggles every time Spock says they should launch a “deep space probe.”
2.) Whenever a female yeoman brings him a clipboard he tries to open a tab.
1.) Is willing to make beer runs into the neutral zone.

 

[TheMasterOfOrion]

Top Ten Signs Your Starship Captain is a Drunkard:

fantastic !

 

[Frodo Lives]

Brilliant read, very funny. Two

I'm pretty sure those Star Trek "facts" the writer messed up were done on purpose for comedic value, seeing the level of minute detail he seems to know (much more than any normal person should about Star Trek) I say he's a pretty rabid fan himself.

 

[Dr_Daystrom]

Does the Restaurant at the End of the Universe have a bar?

Now where the hell is my towel...