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Bite You On the Ass

Mistral

Vice Admiral
Admiral
This is an odd little snippet of a tale. Ad Astra had a challenge out about repercussions of an original character's earlier actions coming back to haunt them. I started something but ran out of time. Then I saw the latest round robin about a dimension-hopping TV remote over at Ad Astra and finished the story to fit that. Make of it what you will. If you are curious about what brought the situation about go here:

http://www.trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=44043&highlight=Interrogation

for the original story of what Shand and Joe did to Johx. :lol:

The Imperial Marketplace on Rigel VII
2381

“Oh, shit!” Shand exclaimed, stopping dead in his tracks. Torres, who had been walking behind him and gawking at an Orion girl posing provocatively in front of one of the marketplace stalls, ran into his back. Shand's antennae bobbed from the impact.

“What the hell, Shand?” Torres backed up, rubbing his nose where he’d bumped it. Shand didn’t say a word in reply, an unusual condition for him. Torres peeked around his right shoulder. A Ferengi with a nasty grin and an even nastier Jem H’adar polaron disrupter was planted firmly in their path. He looked vaguely familiar. “Uh, yeah, we should be going…” Joe’s voice trailed off as he turned around, his eyes taking in the sight of two extremely large Orion males that had chosen to seal off the route behind them. “Oh, shit,” he murmured, echoing his now-silent partner.

The Ferengi chuckled. “Well, well, look who’s here,” he said. “How fortunate. You’re both just in time to join me for a,” and his voice dropped from a squeak to a growl, “Bar-be-koo.” The menacing smile on Johx’s face gave them both pause.

“This can’t be good,” Joe commented.

“Ya think?” Shand snarled back. The Orions stepped forward.

Later

When Joe came to the first thing he noticed were the bruises. It was actually safer to say that he noticed the areas of his body that weren’t bruised, as there were so few of them. The Orion muscle Johx had with him had beaten he and Shand into unconsciousness right there in the alleyway in a matter of moments. The second thing Joe noticed was Shand seated nearby, glowering at the world in general.

“You ok?” he croaked out. He tried to sit up, himself. A groan escaped his lips as he did so.

Shand’s eyes were puffy, with navy blue bruises under both. He bared his teeth, displaying their sharp points in a mockery of a smile. “Oh, I’m just peachy,” he answered, his voice surly. “Get a load of the accommodations,” he continued, gesturing stiffly with one hand.

Joe looked around and whistled. “Someone’s been watching too many James Bond movies,” he said.

“What’s a James Bond?” Shand asked. “Is he a Starfleet officer?”

“Nevermind,” Joe replied absently.

They were in a cubical holding cell. The floors and roof were made of some kind of translucent material, possibly crystal or glass. The floor was metallic and looked retractable. The entire affair was held up by spider-like legs that arced out from the edges of the cave the cell was in, holding the cube up around the bottom edges. A suspension walkway extended from a tunnel mouth in the cave’s side out to the cube itself, a necessary feature, Joe realized, as he looked out and down. The cube sat above an active lava flow. “Didn’t Johx say something about a barbeque?” he asked Shand casually. Shand just grunted in reply. Johx chose that moment to come striding out of the tunnel mouth towards their prison. The smile on his face was neither friendly nor entirely sane.

“Welcome to my little bar ba koo, Starfleet,” he cackled, standing at the end of the walkway.

“I like what you’ve done with the place,” Shand commented offhandedly. “It shows real initiative.”

“It sure does,” Joe chimed in, “But you didn’t have to go through all of this trouble just for us. “

“Oh, but I did,” Johx replied, wringing his hands, “And it was worth every strip of latinum, too. You two are going to get what’s coming to you.”

Shand glanced sideways at Joe where he still sat on the floor. “This guy is off his nut,” he whispered, sotto voce. Clearing his throat, he said, “Really, Johx, we could have just met you at a restaurant. This just seems a bit overdone.”

“So will you,” Johx rejoined nastily, “As soon as I press this button!” He pointed at a bracelet-like mechanism strapped to his left wrist. “And then the floor will retract and I’ll be free of you two forever.” He chortled in a high, squeaky voice. “Burned to a crisp, barb ba kooed!” It came out almost like a chant, the words well worn from practice. Joe swallowed hard and felt something touch his hand. Curious, he glanced down to see a strange object. Shiny metal, rectangular, just short of too bulky to hold in one’s hand, with four large plastic buttons, and the words "Zenith Space Command" written on it in Federation Standard, it was an odd thing to find at any time. Joe was normally very suspicious of strange objects covered in buttons that just popped into existence in front of him but considering the circumstances…

He pointed the device at Johx and pressed a button. There was a loud “Click!” The Ferengi let out a piercing scream and clapped his hands to his ears, falling to the walkway floor. He began to convulse with agony. Shand looked at Joe.

“What’d you do? And where did you get that?” The Andorian wore a puzzled expression on his face.

Joe shrugged. “I don’t know where it came from-it wasn’t here and then it was. Seems to have done the trick, though. I wonder what the other buttons do?” He pressed a different one. For a second nothing happened, then every side of the cube except the floor shattered.

"Jesus Christ!" Joe exclaimed. Both men threw their arms up over their heads to ward off the falling fragments. Joe dropped the “Zenith Space Command” involuntarily. When the chaos ceased they could see that Johx had passed out from the pain inflicted by the mysterious box.

“Hey, grab that thing and let’s go!” Shand exclaimed. “Before this little gnome wakes up and calls his green bruisers for help.” Joe cast about in the wreckage of the cell but couldn’t find the strange device.

“It’s gone!” he called out. A part of him wondered where it could have gone to. Maybe he’d bounced it off the floor into the lava. Another part wondered where it had come from in the first place.

“Forget it, Joe, we’ve gotta make tracks!” The two Security officers took off across the walkway towards the tunnel and freedom as quickly as their battered bodies would let them.
 
Okay, I'll admit I'm shamefully juvenile, but the name you've given this one makes me snicker every time I see it. :lol:

Other than that, it was a funny story and I liked the "prelude" you linked to, as well. I'm wondering if you need to post a link to the round robin story thread itself to make it make a little more sense to the TBBS folks, though. I'll let you decide that, however, as the character moments were funny regardless of the greater context of the universe-hopping remote. ;)
 
Okay, I'll admit I'm shamefully juvenile, but the name you've given this one makes me snicker every time I see it. :lol:

Other than that, it was a funny story and I liked the "prelude" you linked to, as well. I'm wondering if you need to post a link to the round robin story thread itself to make it make a little more sense to the TBBS folks, though. I'll let you decide that, however, as the character moments were funny regardless of the greater context of the universe-hopping remote. ;)

Here's the Round Robin story that this is a part of:

http://forums.adastrafanfic.com/index.php?topic=376.0

There are 6 entries as of this posting-all quite interesting/amusing-about our dimension-hopping TV remote....
 
Very amusing, even when they're in a fairly serious situation. I should probably read the first parts.

Nice attention-grabbing title ::snicker::.
 
This was an odd story.

Until I got the references, went back and remembered that torture scene and realized what a Zenith Space Commander is.

Still odd, but very funny, too.
 
This was an odd story.

Until I got the references, went back and remembered that torture scene and realized what a Zenith Space Commander is.

Still odd, but very funny, too.

Torture? That wasn't torture! That was just the boys having fun at their jobs!:devil:
 
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