It's official: there's something wrong with me.
For some reason I thought we were past "Skin of Evil" and Yar was dead, so I reduced her points to zero and was talking about her not being here any more. Thanks to those kind individuals who just retreated, not making eye contact, smiling indulgently while reaching for the phone, and did not tell me I was, well, as wrong as could be. I don't know why I thought we were where we were, but I've been going through a bad divorce, the kids, the job... actually none of that is true. I'm not married (who'd marry me, now honestly?) and I have no kids, a fact for which the world breathes a collective sigh of relief. I guess, put it down to old age.
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah: stay out of my booze.
Now, withour further ado, and with a Yar far more alive than I had thought, on we go.
Episode title: “Justice”
Season: 1
Importance: 0
Crisis point(s) if any: Wesley not being put to death, sorry, Wesley being sentenced to death
Original transmission date: November 9 1987
Writer(s): Worley Thorne, Ralph Wills
Director: James L. Conway
Stardate:* 41255.6
Destination: Rubicun III
Mission (if any): None; first contact and then shore leave. Everyone can let their hair down. Um. With one important exception.
Main character(s) in Plot: Wesley
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not appearing: O’Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): Big machine orbiting planet. Answers to “God”.
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 1 (Wesley)
Lives saved (cumulative): 4
Locations:
Shipboard:
Bridge
Observation Deck
Space:
Orbit of the planet
Other:
Rubicun III
Ships/vessels: 1 (this “God” thing)
Space battles: 0
Bodycount
Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 84
Make it so: 0
Engage! 0
Combat factor: 0
Planets mentioned:
Mysteries: What is this “God” thing anyway?
Patients in sickbay: 0
Data v humanity: Data operates as a way to exchange information with “god” so
Data 2 - Humanity 3
Character scores:
Picard 0
Riker 25
Troi 15
Bev 10
Geordi 10
Data 10
Worf 15
Wesley 60
Yar 25
O’Brien 0
Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 2 (The Edo; they shouldn’t have bothered. No such thing as a free ride. Literally. Also the god thing)
Humour: 0
Episode rating: 3/10 (It’s awful, but I give it some small credit for not taking the easy way out, and having Picard give the Edo the finger. Not like that. It would be… inappropriate.)
Episode score: 155
So do we call this a sexist episode? Well, it’s hard to say. It’s not like women - or men - are being treated any differently. It’s certainly a sexually-charged one, which to some degree makes me wonder how it got through the censor? I mean, sure, there’s no nudity (though a lot of flesh is on display) but the overall feeling is one of promiscuity, and in America, and especially on American TV, that’s usually a big no-no. Of course, these are the permissive 80s, so maybe. Bush wouldn’t spoil everyone’s fun by trying to drag the US back into the 1950s for another two years, and Ronnie wasn’t too bothered, so maybe. You have to wonder though, would the theme from Benny Hill be out of place here? So much running around in skimpy costumes. Americans wouldn’t have got it though. You don’t get it, do you? Probably just as well.
I’m sure I didn’t think this when I first saw it, but I’m thinking it now, even though I know it’s wrong. With everyone so pretty and handsome and vital, what of the older folk? How can they run around and would constant sex not wear them out? Is it possible this is a Logan’s Run deal, where people only live to a certain age, so that all are young? I mean, yes, it’s not what happened, but it could have been part of the reason why this planet is too good to be true. There’s never any worse comment than “It’s like Eden”, because there’s always something slithering through the grass.
"Why can't our God invent the ****ing wheel? I swear, if I have to run one more time..."
It’s quite funny when the Enterprise is put on high alert because what appears to be a soap bubble has penetrated the ship! When asked by the bubble why they left colonists on the last planet they were on (not that it’s any of its ****ing business, but anyhow) Picard says the colonists had sought to create a new lifestyle. The bubble could have said “A gay planet? Not in
my system, buster!” But sadly, it does not. Oh well. Makes you wonder though what the hell these losers do all day? How can you sit around kissing and fondling and having great sex and you know what that sounds great: where is this planet again? But seriously: how does anything get done? We all remember the similarly named Eloi, don’t we? Huh? Huh?
This idea of the Punishment Zone: weird huh? No signs, no warnings, anywhere could be the Punishment Zone at any time, so nobody breaks any laws in case it just happens that they do so within the PZ. But then, isn’t that the elimination of crime due to terror? And how can there be one punishment for everything, that punishment being death? What is the point? To hard-code the idea of never, ever breaking a law into the people? But no matter how law-abiding a society is, people will always break little laws. How many of us have crossed against the traffic light? Smoked in a non-smoking zone? Hopped on a bus without a ticket? Downloaded illegal mat… you know what, let’s just gloss over that one. But the fact remains: nobody is totally and 100% lawful all the time. And for the slightest slip, you get death? Sounds more like a society living in fear to me.
"Didn't I blow you out of my ass a few episodes ago?"
Fair play to Yar! All that time in Starfleet Academy, she sure can recognise a syringe when she sees one! It’s hilarious how these mediators are completely taken aback by the fact that anyone would stand up to them. Total wimps. Very annoying Wesley’s up-himself announcement “I’m with Starfleet. We don’t lie.” That is, of course, a lie. Starfleet lie when it suits them, and if they think they’re some sort of Supermen, well, nobody need be any the wiser unless they want to be surveying planets out on the Galactic Rim for the rest of their career, right? When Liator says “God is somewhere out there” I keep expecting Linda Ronstadt to start singing, and images of a cartoon mouse to scroll across the screen. When Rivan asks why they don’t just take Wesley back with all their superior firepower (well, the Edo have none unless you count those huge bazungas um, never mind) you can see Beverly going hell yeah, why don’t you? This is my boy (possibly YOUR boy!) and if you ever want to get within a light year of my action again you’ll go in there guns blazing and rescue my kid, or I’ll know the reason why!
"Oh, typical man! A blonde cutie shows up and you forget all about me!"
“God” seems pretty pissed off about Picard half-inching his “child”. A case of “she’s my bird, wanna fight about it?” Picard gives in like the nerd he is. Hell, plenty more blondes in the galaxy, right? Certainly a case here of the needs of the many outweighing the needs of the one, though Picard doesn’t see it that way. Funny when Beverly says “Then your god is unfair!” I mean, what god worries about being fair? That’s for mortals. You can see though, after having to endure Picard’s speech and then listen to Riker add his little bit of sidekick “Yeah” the God-thing surely goes “Oh hell with this. If I have to listen to one more platitude… I’m going for a lie down.” Don’t blame it.
To give it credit, this is the first TNG episode where Picard really steps up; he tries his best to satisfy the Prime Directive, the guiding principle behind his entire career, but when it comes down to a choice between following Starfleet rules and saving a member of his crew (even if it is only Wesley) - and possibly, more importantly, showing Beverly what a man he is and how he’ll protect her (his?) kid, he’s ready to throw the rule book out the window. It is quite likely that when he makes his report the brass back home will say “yeah I think he was right to do that. **** those promiscuous sexpots and their orbiting god - hold on here: sex at the drop of a what? Hmm. Where does it say that planet was?” Then again, it they re-read it and see it was only Wesley, maybe they’ll change their mind and think he should have let him get the death jab.
Overall though, a pretty powerful episode which very easily and effectively swings from nudge-nudge fluff to deadly serious without seeming too abrupt a change. I would have to say, in retrospect, one of the better ones of the early first season. I see nobody, including Wil Wheaton, agree with me. And so I say, **** all of them.