Bigger, Badder, Balder: Revisiting Star Trek: The Next Generation

[Trollheart]

Episode title: “The Naked Now”

Season: 1

Importance: 2

Crisis point(s) if any: Everyone goes batshit crazy, if that’s not a crisis point then I’m not the most handsome guy on the for - oh. Wait.

Original transmission date: October 5 1987

Writer(s): J. Michael Bingham (D.C. Fontana), John D.F. Black

Director: Paul Lynch

Stardate:* 41209.2

Destination: Some supergiant star

Mission (if any): Find out what happened on the SS Tsiolkovsky

Main character(s) in Plot: Geordi, Data, Riker, Beverly

Main character(s) in Subplot (if any): Yar, Picard, Troi

Villain/Monster (if any): Virus

Deaths: 80

Lives saved (episode): 0 (Technically, all of the ship, but that’s not what this is about)

Lives saved (cumulative): 1

Locations:

Shipboard:

Bridge
Sickbay
Troi’s Quarters
Engineering
Yar’s Quarters

Space:

Orbit of a supergiant star (not named)

Other:

SS Tsiolkovsky

Ships/vessels: 1 (SS Tsiolkovsky)

Space battles: 0

Bodycount

Historical
80 (Crew of SS Tsiolkovsky)

Incidental
0

Direct
0
Total: 80

Running total: 81

Make it so: 0
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: 0
Mysteries: 1 (What happened on the Tsiolkovsky?)
Patients in sickbay: 3
Data v humanity: Well, Data is the only one who can replace the chips in time, so he wins this first round.
Data 1 - Humanity 0

Character scores (episode):
Picard 10
Riker 20
Troi 20
Bev 40
Geordi 30
Data 15
Worf 10
Wesley 40
O’Brien 0
Yar 50

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 0

Episode score: -170 (that’s a MINUS score, people!)
Episode rating: 2/10

It’s rather disappointing that after such a good start the show should almost immediately start relying on old scripts from TOS. “The Naked Time” wasn’t, to be fair, even that great an episode, and if anything, gave the actors a chance to let their hair down and act, well, mad. Which is all well and good, but once is enough. When you have an attempt to continue that story - which should have most definitely been a one-off - I believe you’re asking for trouble. When you have a captain as buttoned-down and strict and joyless as Picard, doubly so. It’s interesting though that the second Starfleet vessel we hear of has a Russian name, though I have to ask why it’s SS Tsiolkovsky instead of USS? Yeah, look, you could see this coming maybe at the end of a successful season, chance for everyone to relax and have some fun (does Picard do fun?) with a pretty throwaway episode, but second in the first season? When things hinge so precariously on how this is received? When the entire future of the show could hang on what the audience think of this? Bad move, I feel. Bad move.

I find it odd that Data says “What we have heard is impossible” as he refers to the blowing of an emergency hatch; surely such things blow now and then? Accidents? I mean, yes, he could be saying it’s impossible someone did it on purpose, but again that’s not the case is it? If it’s impossible, it simply cannot happen. A man can’t fly unaided, or walk on the clouds, or understand the plot of a single episode of The Prisoner. But this? This isn’t impossible. To paraphrase Sherlock Holmes, it is improbable at best. On board the science ship, Riker gasps that the crew were all sucked out into space. Correction, says Data, that’s sucked off. I mean, blown off. I mean, blown out. I like the way the guy in the crew quarters, who is frozen and obviously naked, has still had the decency before he died to position his knee so that his dong can’t be seen. Class!

"Couldn't you have shaved BEFORE coming on duty, Lieutenant?"

Look, I know he probably doesn’t have access to the ship’s communications, but surely Wesley has the use of his mother’s comms in their room? So when Geordi complains of burning up, being the doctor’s son and all, why does he not alert his mother? But he just sits there, looking after him as LaForge leaves. Idiot. Bit pedantic when Picard insists “it’s not an infection” and Troi says “Well whatever it is, she’s got it” - I expect Bananarama to pop up singing “Venus” - “She’s got it, yeah baby she’s got it! I’m your Venus, I’m your fire…” Oh no! I just remembered! This episode features perhaps the single most embarrassing, cringeworthy scene in all of Star Trek, when Yar and Data get it on. Oh god no! The screens, quickly! The screens! It’s a bit annoying that they copy the scene in TOS “The Naked Time” when O’Reilly locked himself in engineering and started making weird announcements and singing; Wesley does the same, though with a lot less panache than the Irishman.

Okay but answer me this: if Data has no emotions - and we’re told he has none; later he gets an emotion chip, to everyone’s acute embarrassment, not least of all his - then how in the name of Jean-Luc Picard can he have a silly grin on his face when Yar pulls him off I mean into her bedroom? Shouldn’t he look like he always does? Could Spiner just not resist making the expression, throwing in a little comedy? How is it that they all only realise halfway into the episode that quarantine procedures should have been implemented before everyone went around touching everyone else? Picard’s attempts to hold in his temper and his normal snappish way when trying to get Wesley to cede control of engineering back to him are comical; you can see how he just wants to tell him GIVE ME MY SHIP BACK YOU FUCKING LITTLE SNOTNOSED BRAT! But he can’t, and must marshall all the minimal charm he has and his awful bedside manner with kids to try to get what he wants.

"Don't look at her boobs... don't look at her boobs..."

It can’t do much for Picard’s ego when Beverly says she’s experiencing a “lack of good judgement, and therefore she finds him extremely attractive.” Well thanks a bunch! Have i ever told you your bum looks big in that? Down in engineering, as the force field Wesley put up is finally overridden, the kid says he thinks he can get the main viewer on line. After seeing what it shows, a large piece of superheated star heading directly towards them, he probably thinks, on second thoughts, maybe we’ll just leave this off. This is the first time we see Data run at superspeed, as he tries to replace the chips that have been taken out of the computer. Hey, when the chips are down, Data’s your man, huh? Sorry. Sorry. Is it hot in here?

"Um, Will? The threshold is THAT way!"

Annoying how Wesley sort of saves the ship in the end, but I guess it’s worth it for the tres awkward moment when Data and Yar see each other again for the first time after they’ve done the business. Maybe both secretly wish the android had not been able to switch out those chips in time! On a more serious note, while there was a certain amount of intoxication on both sides, and Data is shown clearly aware of what he’s doing and the sex is consensual, there’s an uneasy feelng of, if not quite rape, then sex by two people who are really going to regret it when they “sober up”, and it’s doubly uncomfortable, and not at all empowering, that it’s the woman, who uses her better knowledge of human relationships to all but force the android into sex. Very very dodgy, and notable too that for seven seasons after this, though Data had “love interests” occasionally, he is never again seen, or implied to be, having sex with a human. It just screams WRONG on every level.

Overall, as I say, I think this was a poor episode and very badly timed. At this point, we hardly knew anyone, so the kind of nudge-nudge-wink-wink works now, but back then we had no real idea of the feelings Picard had for Crusher, or Riker for Troi, and much of what happens is taken with a pretty giant shrug. This kind of episode is best used when we know the characters, when we’re either sympathetic with them or hate them, but either way can feel for them, cringe for them, root for them or laugh at them. When I saw this originally it was so what? And now it’s different, but even so, a stupidly bewildering choice for a second episode. Maybe Fontana was trying to humanise the characters for us, but there are better ways to do that, and to my mind this was not one of them. Of course, it takes a while before it gets any better, as we’ll see.

 

[shivkala]

"The Naked Now" is a fun episode when not taken seriously. Should it have been the first episode after the pilot, well, no. However, I do think we get some wonderfully human moments from the crew who were all very stiff during the first season. I get the argument that it would work better to see these characters let loose if we knew them better, but on the other hand, it was a shortcut to some deep insights into the characters, such a Geordi longing to see and Tasha's desire to claim her sexuality after suffering through rape gangs during her adolescence. Denise Crosby said it best recently on The 7th Rule's podcast episode.

And Friends of DeSoto will always have a soft spot for this episode due to one Drunk Jim Shimoda.

There is plenty wrong with this episode, but it can also be a lot of fun.

And yes, everyone focuses on Data coming down with the symptoms, but no one really focuses on Riker shrugging off the effects of the disease. Everyone else is drunkenly horning up the place, but Riker just wipes the sweat off and is like, "There's stuff to be done, I'm going to do it."

 

[Quantum21]

I have a long attention span and even I don't want to read these.

Brevity is an art.

The separation sequence is as long-winded and boring as it sounds. It adds nothing to it, except that Picard now has Worf’s balls in his pocket, and the Klingon is not a happy bunny. Picture the worst ever family road trip you’ve been on, the one where the windows stuck closed and it was 90 in the shade, where traffic jams clogged up the road and grandpa had that dicky tummy. Then add in that your wife or husband was cheating on you, you knew it but could not prove it, they knew you knew but knew you could not prove it, and everyone pretended everything was fine. Now multiply by a factor of 1000. And you’re still nowhere close to how pissed off Worf must be. But not a millionth as pissed off as we were when Picard bloody surrenders! I remember turning to my late best friend as we watched this in his apartment in London for the first time ever and we both said the same thing: “Kirk would never do that!” And he wouldn’t. He’d find some way out of it, use his guile and expertise and Kobayashi Maru the hell out of that situation. And all with a cheeky grin. But Picard was not Kirk, as we were quickly learning, and he seldom if ever grinned. No, dour, stern, stoic grimness was Picard’s standard expression, and over seven seasons it seldom changed much.

"Snakes! Why did it have to be snakes?"

Interesting, again, that when the crew find themselves in Q’s courtroom, and Picard says it’s the late twenty-first century, the “Post Atomic Horror”, what do we see on the wall behind him? Why, unless I miss my guess that looks very much like the eagle of Germany! Oh how cliched! And everything is red and black. Duh. Funny when the judge (Q) arrives and the clerk tells everyone to stand up, half are dwarves, and I can imagine him going “You! Stand up!” and the dwarf going “I am ****ing standing!” Heh. Also funny how surprised they all are when it’s Q who turns up as the judge. I mean, how many other omnipotent aliens who have warned them to go back home or face the consequences have they met recently? Some super over-the-top ham acting by Denise Crosby before she’s rightly turned into a Yarsicle. I note O’Brien has appeared, though he doesn’t rate a name, first or last, yet, and is referred merely to as “conn”. A good Irish name, that.

Here’s a thing though. The time period is said to be the late 21st century, and yet Yar speaks of living though this time; in later episodes she will talk of her attempts to evade “rape gangs” (quite a heavy subject for a science fiction show in the late 1980s by the way). So, are we supposed to believe this “Post Atomic Horror”, as Picard calls it, lasted over three hundred years? Into the 24th century? Or is Tasha Yar a mite older than her service record says? I find it hard to believe Earth was under this kind of “mob rule/anarchy” thing for three centuries! I mean, even the Dark Ages only lasted one or two. But maybe. I just wonder, is all.

Enter Riker, beardless and who has obviously been told that to act properly you must keep your legs apart as far as possible, and your arms should hang loose as if you were modelling for a later action figure, many of which will of course be produced and sold. The exchange between him and Zorn over the apple is an example, I think, of poor writing. He asks for an apple, and there are bananas and oranges and grapes, which he declines to take. For him it’s an apple or nothing. Then, when one appears, Zorn says “Yes, there was another selection.” Now, anyone in their right mind would say “Why in the name of Jim Kirk didn’t you say there was another selection? I’m gagging for an apple!” Not only that, but the “second selection” is nothing BUT apples! Doesn’t he think, “**** me, but you’re an idiot! You didn’t see an entire bowl of bright red apples right at your side? Do you need glasses or what?” But no; he just accepts it and smiles. Isn’t he a little suspicious? Where did the apple come from? Any snakes around? And what kind of title is ****ing Groppler anyway? Sounds like something Kirk would be fighting in a disused quarry sorry on a desert planet. If this was the first time you’d seen this, you might be wondering what in Hell Zorn’s problem is with fruit, as he seems to be berating it after Riker leaves. Fruitist.

"Dave's not here, man!"

What is Riker’s deal though? As we’re introduced to one of my crushes (sorry) he is told they are about to go shopping AND HE GOES WITH THEM! What man, given a choice, would actually decide to go with a woman on a shopping trip? He may have cause to regret that. Anyway, this then is of course the lovely Beverly Crusher, who will cause such a commotion in Picard’s regulation-issue Starfleet Y-fronts when he meets her, leading us perhaps to wonder if there was not some ulterior motive in his having sent her hubby off to his death some years before? Sadly, we’re also subjected to the youngest Wesley Crusher that can be found. I mean, Wesley was a ****, at any age (though Wil Wheaton turned out to be all right in other roles) but as a - what is he? Twelve? - as a kid of this age, he’s just so insufferably annoying that you wish Bev had gone to the other clinic when he was due. You know the one I mean! He won’t get any better, and it won’t be till Starfleet Academy can no longer realistically refuse his application that we will be rid of him, so stand by for much annoyance, smug arrogance, and, unfortunately, brushes with death that never quite come off.

Hey, considering she’s just bought a whole bolt of cloth from that guy, does he look stoned to you? Doesn’t smile, doesn’t bow, doesn’t even move. When Riker realises the Crushers know his new captain, Wesley tells him “While I was little, he brought my father’s body home to us.” I’m sure Riker thinks “That’s weird. Usually it’s a football or an album or a book or something…”
Next up is Geordi. Hands up who liked Geordi? All those, huh? Not me. I mean, nothing specifically against him, but I was always bored by his character, and it was only his friendship with Data that brought, in my opinion, anything he did to my interest. Never quite got the visor. I mean, yeah, they want to show off how much science has advanced in the 24th century, but apart from a few episodes where it was useful, you know, what use is it? Just makes him look like one of Devo, if you ask me. If they had black members. This is the first time we see the new transport effect, and to be perfectly fair, they haven’t changed it much, have they? Still, Star Trek remains the only science fiction series, even now, so far as I know, to use personal matter transport, other than Blake’s 7.

"Excuse me? Excuse me? Sorry to bother you, but you haven't seen, like, a saucer section around here have you? Some idiot's only gone and taken it. I was only away five minutes! I don't know, this sector of the galaxy, aliens coming over here, stealing our jobs, taking our women..."

Now let’s be honest here. The Enterprise looks **** without its saucer section, doesn’t it? It’s like, I don’t know, a 747 without the hump, or a big rig without its trailer. It just looks lost and sad and really uncomfortable, like it’s half naked. Riker has to watch a movie as soon as he arrives - I think he might give it two thumbs; the production values are **** but the costumes aren’t bad - and Picard uses the phrase “Make it so” for the first, but by no means the last time. We also hear that the captain’s office is now called the Ready Room, for some reason. I mean, like, ready for what? Kirk never had a ready room. Of course, Kirk was born ready, and conducted every decision from his chair on the bridge, unless he was displaying his manly chest in sickbay. But really: a ready room? What is this, the 24th century? Oh. It is. Carry on then.

You know, I get it. Picard is proving, or testing a point. But is it not a little reckless to order Riker to conduct a manual re-attachment of the big jaffa cake bit to the main ship? Like, sure, he can do it, but what if he ****s it up? It’s not like this is a simulation. If he chokes, people are going to die. Would Worf consider that an honourable death, I wonder? Well, he’d surely take the other part of the Enterprise with him, so maybe. The Klingon Empire would certainly be toasting him. Not at war with the Federation, you say? No, no: that’s just what they want you to think!

Not to mention that Picard is also putting his own life, and that of the entire ship - saucer plus battle bridge (and who came up with that stupid name? What’s wrong with The Bit That’s Left?) - in danger. I mean, does he know Riker? For all he’s aware, this guy could have bopped the real William T. Riker on the head and taken his uniform, an escapee from a loony bin. Didn’t think about that, did you Picard? What if - oh. The ship’s back together. Almost as boring as when it split. Yawn. Why did Data ask “You mean manual, sir? No automation?” That is, after all, surely, the very definition of manual? I thought he was supposed to be smart?

Something occurs to me, to be serious for a moment. Is the separation of the ship supposed to be a metaphor for the fact that it has not its full complement, that its first office and doctor are on Deneb IV - separated from it - and that it will only be whole, and the series as a unit ready, once they all join up. If so, then that feeling is intensified and perhaps confirmed when it’s Riker who is the one who, quite literally, brings the ship back together, heals the rift, both in terms of his presence and of the return of the saucer section. Never thought of that before, but I wonder now is it some cerebral subtext the writers were trying to show? Okay, enough deep thought for now: back to the fun.

Questioning his new number one later, Picard asks “Captain’s rank means nothing to you, then?” And Riker says “Quite the reverse sir.” So Picard asks again, “Then you to nothing means rank Captain’s?” Riker must wonder how Yoda got on board. There is however a complete absence of gasps when Picard remarks that he’s not good with children. No ****. I bet children run screaming from him, seeing him as some sort of bald cross between Yul Brynner in Westworld and the Child Catcher in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang! The first of many, many, interminable and stultifyingly boring rounds of technobabble as Geordi explains how visor works. We don’t care man. It allows you to see, but you’re in constant pain all the time? Doesn’t seem a great deal to me. Should have gone to Specsavers.

Now we get what is, to be fair, a pretty pointless cameo by DeForest Kelley as he reprises his role as Dr. McCoy for the last time ever. I mean, it’s touching, and I like when he says to Data “I don’t see no points on your ears boy, but you sound like a Vulcan.” We’ll get other cameos as the series progresses, though oddly enough perhaps no Kirk. He’s waiting for the movie, so he can take it over, as is his wont. Oh yeah, and now we get the AWKWARD reunion of Troi and Riker, and hear for the first time the telepathic thoughts of the former. I’m not sure they’ve mentioned she’s a telepath up to now, but I may have missed that while I was sneering over something else. Like her being the only one on board to have to wear a short skirt and boots. She doesn’t look happy about it. I’m sure she’s thinking “Am I nothing more than the eye candy here?” Sorry Marina, you are. I mean, Bev is great, but we’re all going to be watching your ahhhnd she uses the word Imzadi for the first time, which, though it sounds like a make of Japanese car, is in fact the Betazed word for “beloved”. Ahhh. How sweet. Picard is as good with body language as he is with kids, apparently, and fails to notice the smouldering sexual tension between them. Or maybe he’s just looking at her ****.

With absolutely no idea what they’re doing of course, the writers have Picard refer to the Ferengi as monsters. “Let’s hope they find you as tasty,” he tells Zorn, “as their past associates.” For we who now know what the Ferengi are, this is clearly a vague reference while Roddenberry and Fontana look at each other and shrug “Who the **** are the Ferengi gonna be?” But it is funny. Give Siritits, sorry Sirtis, her due here: good acting when she tunes in to the brainwaves of the imprisoned jellyfish aliens. Oh sorry have I spoiled the ending for you? It’s only over thirty years old; maybe I should have been more careful. Oh hey, there’s that Vulcan again. I was wrong. Still no name or line for him though. And a dwarf. Oh no that’s just a very small woman, eyeline almost on Riker’s crotch.

Ah, the holodeck! This was great, no question. The idea was so cool, and of course would form the backdrop for many an inventive episode in the coming seasons. It’s where Riker meets Data for the first time, and where we hear that the android has a Pinocchio complex. We’re also shown how strong Data is, as he lifts Wesley with one hand out of the river, but sadly does not follow the instructions in his surname, and Wesley remains uncrushed. Boo.

"So your saucer section is bigger than ours! Size isn't everything, you know!"

I’m slagging this off, just for fun, but you know, it is reawakening some nice feelings, reminding me of the first time I saw the series. Remember - as you probably do - this was the first time we saw a new Star Trek since the original. It was big, big news at the time and the possibilities seemed, and kind of were, endless. Seeing all the characters meet and talk about the things they’re going to do and the things they’re going to see takes me right back to when thirty was still a milestone some way off. 1987. My ma was alive, I was in work, Karen was well, Gary (my best friend) was alive - though not for long; he would die that year, money was relatively plentiful, Bill was in the White House and Covid was over thirty years away yet. All was right with the world. Video recorders were the big new thing and I rented my massive CRT Grundig 28 inch TV. AND I had hair. Sigh. Well, enough reminiscing I guess. Back to the show.

Sparks fly when Picard meets Beverly again for the first time in years, and you know, I’ve always wondered could Wesley be his? Probably not, but there’s a look passes between them, and Picard and Wesley, that makes me think about it. When the big alien ship comes on the scene and starts blowing the **** out of the old Bandhi city, Picard readies photon torpedoes, until Worf tells him the ship is not hitting Farpoint Station, just the city. “Oh, well that’s all right,” grins Picard. “As long as they’re not damaging the merchandise, nothing to do with us.” The fact that the ship is, as stated, more than twelve times their volume (surely that should be size? Who says volume when talking about starships?) might have something to do with his reluctance to defend the city, not to mention his dislike of Zorn. I know how you feel, Picard. Guy drives me mad with his free jazz experimental avant-garde music.

"Let's try to take the sting out of this meeting, shall we? What? WHAT?!! Oh come on now, don't be such a jellyfish! What??!!"

It’s pretty rich when Q arrives and sneers “savage life forms never follow even their own rules”: it was him who broke his own rules in the court scene. Not a great advertisement for a so-called higher race now, is he? Quite funny too when Riker stands before him, dirty and dusty with cuts and bruises on his face, and declares “Humanity is no longer a savage race!” He’s only short of adding “And if you say we are, I’ll club you and eat your brains!” Picard offers Bev a transfer, but she likes playing for Enterprise United. He says his presence will remind her of a terrible personal tragedy, and she’s surely thinking “Oh you weren’t that bad in bed, Jean-Luc!” Good old Bev: she’s the only one who can send Picard away with a flea in his ear, as she pwns him totally and leaves him muttering “I hope we can be friends?” She thinking “well okay but you’re not getting within a light year of my action again!”

It’s a bit humiliating to see Picard beg Q to help him and save his people, but then I guess he is human. Never noticed before, but the first scene and the last scene are both of Picard: making sure everyone knows he’s the star, eh? Shatner would be proud.

 

[Trollheart]

That's fair enough. I don't generally do brevity though.

 

[Trollheart]

I'd also like to say, whether you agree or not, like or dislike my stuff, thank you to all who took and take the time to comment. It means a lot. Ka'plah! Or something.

 

[Paul Weaver]

The timing really was odd. One key part I think was the reference to TOS agin though - confirming once again that TNG is the same universe as TOS, with an explicit reference to The Naked Time, and outright naming Kirk. It also shows that 24th century crew members (including data) don’t have an encyclopaedic knowledge of every past episode like the average Trekkie, a thread dropped throughout the next 700+ episodes of Trek.

Disappointing it took data so long to find the reference to someone showering. I’d expect even a 21st century search engine to find the incident pretty quickly, let alone with data driving it.

there was of course a callback to this episode in First Contact (the film), which confirmed Data had not got jiggly since this episode.

I liked the reuse of the oberth model too.

 

[Trek Survivor]

Yikes, not sure I can give credibility to anyone that doesn't rate "Family" highly, or thinks McCoy's cameo was pointless :-)

But I'll check in on this when I can, some humorous observations (though I will keep defending season 1...!)

 

[Trollheart]

Yikes, not sure I can give credibility to anyone that doesn't rate "Family" highly, or thinks McCoy's cameo was pointless :-)

But I'll check in on this when I can, some humorous observations (though I will keep defending season 1...!)

(Anyone know why when I insert quotes it keeps putting them in twice? Am I doing something wrong?)

As for "Family" - boo. Nothing more than the comedown from the high of "Best of Both Worlds". What happened in it? Picard fught with his brother about vineyards or something. Bah. Sure it was a "humanising" moment, but all I see it as is a way to remind people he's French, as if they'd forgotten. Boo I say.

 

[Trollheart]

Okay, time for another chart. How have the characters fared on their second mission? Let's see.

The first thing that is immediately apparent is that Q, despite being all-powerful and a godlike figure, can't hold the number one spot for more than one episode, and is toppled by a mere girl! Oh, the shame! Oh the humanity, if he was human which he's not so why I'm saying it I don't know!

Yes, thanks to her, um, liaison with a "fully-functional" Data, Yar takes top spot for this episode.

The only other mover upwards is also a lady, none other than the ship's CMO, who rises from last episode's 5 to take the number 2 slot, a jump of three places and kicking her love - eh, captain down, where he lands at the ignominious postion of 5, falling three places and actually now occupying the slot Bev was in, but far from being a cozy encounter for our favourite bald-headed space adventurer, poet and all-round stiff-neck, she's said "See ya! Wouldn't wanna be ya!" and has broken the glass ceiling, leaving poor old Jean-Luc to stare up wistfully at the upper echelons of the chart, perhaps feeling like Lieutenant Picard in "Tapestry." Oh dear. Never mind Captain, I'm sure you'll be back on the bridge real soon. For now, haven't you bilges to scrub?

Nobody else is having a good time either, and this episode shows that none of them exactly covered themselves in glory, bar the two ladies. Despite saving the ship, Wesley's antics while under the, um, influence, coupled with his mom's power-leap and that of Tasha mean he's falling two spots from number 5 to number 7, and while Riker is barely slipping from two to three, his love interest is a bigger faller, from four to six. Geordi and Data remain the best of friends, holding on and sharing the number four spot for the second episode running, while there's no glory for Worf as he falls to the lowest possible position, now number 8, dropping three from his previous position of 5, accompanied by poor old Miles O'Brien, currently the Ensign With No Name, as they both prop up the bottom of the chart.

 

[Trollheart]

Episode title: “Code of Honor”
Season: 1
Importance: 0
Crisis point(s) if any: Yar being captured I guess, though why they didn’t just leave her there… oh yeah, there’s that nasty plague they need the vaccine for, isn’t there?
Original transmission date: October 12 1987
Writer(s): Katharyn Powers, Michael Baron
Director: Russ Mayberry, Les Landau (why two directors? Oh I see; because the first was fired by Roddenberry for the racist casting, and quite right too)
Stardate:* 41235.25
Destination: Ligon II
Mission (if any): To negotiate for a serum needed to treat a virus on another planet
Main character(s) in Plot: Picard, Riker, Troi, Beverly, Yar
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not Appearing: Worf, O’Brien
Villain/Monster (if any): Lagon and the Laigonians (sounds like a name for a band, huh?)
Deaths: 2 (technically - the guy in the audience at the fight who has the misfortune to catch the weapon in the stomach, and Jarina, though she is brought back from the dead. Meh, let’s count her.)

Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge
Cargo bay
Sickbay

Space:

Other:
Laigonia

Ships/vessels: 0
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
1
Direct
1
Total: 2

Running total: 83

Make it so: 0
Engage! 1
Combat factor: 0
Planets visited: Ligon II
Mysteries: None
Patients in sickbay: 0
Data v humanity: His humour falls flat and he pisses Picard off about the French language, so a big fail for Data here.

Data 1 - Humanity 1

Character scores (episode):

Picard 15
Riker 10
Troi 15
Bev 30
Geordi 10
Data 10
Worf 0
Wesley 0
O’Brien 0
Yar 235

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 1
Humour: 1
Episode Score: - 20
Rating: 1/10

And having stumbled badly with the last episode, the writers now pitch all the way down the stairs and crash to the bottom, with the most openly racist episode of Star Trek until we get to “Up the Long Ladder”. African Americans must have hated it. Given that their race, as it were, had first been properly represented (though not really) in the original series, this was a hell of a kick in the teeth to all black Trek fans, and Will Wheaton remarked later that, had the show not had the power of the fans and the legacy of the original series behind it, this would almost certainly have caused it to be cancelled. I have no idea what the hell these people were thinking. I’m assuming both the writers were white. Yeah, doesn’t show pictures of them and I guess it doesn’t matter, but you’d have to wonder how a black cast of actors would agree to perform in such an episode?

Not only is it racist, it’s very sexist, with the Lagonians (read, Africans) openly dismissive of and borderline abusive to the women on the Enterprise, a real male-dominated society, the kind of thing that we were told did not, should not and would not exist by the 24th century. It is somewhat amusing, the way you can feel the women, particularly Troi, holding back their anger at the way the aliens consider them inferior; you can tell she just wants to go up to them and say “Yeah? I come from a fucking planet where women rule, dude! You wouldn’t last ten seconds on Betazed, let me tell you! My mother would put you in your place double-quick!” But they, ah, don’t. The tension is palpable.

Well that’s odd. When Lutan takes Yar prisoner in the cargo bay and beams off with her (PLEASE don’t bring her back!) Picard just turns expressionlessly to the camera and calls a red alert. He doesn’t seem shocked, surprised, aghast, anything; almost as if he was expecting it to happen. And here! What’s that expensive new archaeological artifact he just bought? How can he afford that on a captain’s salary? Hmm. As he possibly tries to cover his collusion with Lutan by threatening to blow his planet up (come on! It’s only Yar! The guy’s done you a favour!) he says “We insist you return our message. Oh, and we’ll have our Chinese horsey statue back too. That cost a bundle.”

"Damn it! Picard has the high score AGAIN!"

It’s sort of easy to see where the racism comes from, not that anyone would have any trouble recognising it. At its heart, this is a story about a perhaps less well-developed civilisation - who all just happen to be black - who have somehow created a vaccine others need but who are only prepared to share it with those who deserve it or those who meet their expectations. Naturally, Starfleet would ensure any needed vaccine was shared with anyone who required it (chortle) but these guys want the Enterprise to play ball. Next, they show how backward they are by not recognising the value the men of the 24th century put on their women, and then, in a real “where the white women at?” move, they kidnap one, leaving Picard, the ultimate white authority and stern father figure, no choice but to (sigh) teach these savages a lesson. It’s all but an attempt to justify colonial aggression on a planetary scale, but worse, it teaches the very clear, and completely incorrect, message that black people can’t be trusted.

I love love love Beverly but by god I will never forgive her for floating the idea of her son joining the crew! Here she tests the idea with the captain, who surely would never have come up with such a notion himself otherwise, and to see Wesley emerge from the turbolift like a mouse coming out of its hole is puke-inducing. I do love however how Data gets on Picard’s wrong side by referring to French as an obscure Earth language! Oops! The faces of the others are priceless, a real “Oh fuck he did not say that, did he?” sort of look. It’s one of the scenes, very cleverly written and well played, where we see that, despite all his pretensions to humanity, Data is still very much at sea when it comes to the little nuances of ego and pride. Let’s just hope he doesn’t start going on about how bald heads were never in fashion!

There was acute embarrassment when it became clear the Lagonians did not understand the rules of Musical Chairs...

I mark the serious similarities - at least, planetside - to classic Trek. The music, the lurid red sky, the setting, the overall atmosphere; all tropes used whenever Kirk’s landing party visited a planet inhabited by another culture. I particularly recognise the one with the Orion slave girl (“Wolf in the Fold”? Not sure) and elements of “Who Mourns for Adonais?” as well as “Errand of Mercy”. In fact, the set could have been taken from an old episode of TOS. For all I know, it was. Look at the picture below; is it hard to imagine Kirk, Spock and McCoy in the place of Picard and Troi, Spock with his hands in his lap looking around and commenting on how “fascinating” this “savage society” is, while Kirk smiles his boyish smile and assures his science officer that this is how “certain cultures” on Earth used to be, and McCoy makes some off-colour joke about hoping they don’t end up in a cooking pot?

It’s a bit sudden how Geordi and Data become friends. I mean, this is episode three. In episode one, the pilot, he hardly knows or talk to him, in episode two he’s totally pissed with the virus thing, so not exactly going to be going over his family album with the android, yet here, without any preamble, Data is calling him his friend, has access to his personal quarters and is helping him to shave? When did all that happen? Sure, as the series goes on, the friendship between the two is the writers’ vain attempt to try to make Geordi more interesting, and becomes an integral part of the show, but surely, unless there’s previous history between the two, we should be shown how they became friendly? Data’s woeful attempts at human humour are not funny here, they never were; just so strained you can hear the groans in the audience.

Is it meant to be funny though when, as Geordi and Data arrive on Ligon II and stand in front of a wall of bladed weapons, Picard uses the words “cutting edge” and Data asks if he has “any particular point” he wants him to concentrate on? A typical Jerry Springer situation here, where two women, who should be turning on the man who has set them against each other, instead fight each other. Jesus had a little cry in the corner! They even end it like “Amok Time”. Poor, very poor. I suppose there’s some small redemption for it at the end, when it turns out that despite appearances being to the contrary, it is in fact the women who wield the real power here. Meh. And oh dear god! They couldn't’ even be bothered to come up with a proper name for Lutan’s wife, just stuck an “eena” onto Yar to make Yareena. Says it all really.

 

[Ragitsu]

Balder

 

[Geargoose]

why it’s SS Tsiolkovsky instead of USS?

Maybe that starship was Earth Starfleet, not UFP? So, more abstract names like "Excelsior" and "Endeavour" can be translated, but Tsiolkovsky is Russian (hello Chekhov) scientist, and I bet average vulcan never heard of him, so Earth Starfleet starships could bear names from our history (Except for Enterprise, she was a true legend)

 

[Trollheart]

Maybe that starship was Earth Starfleet, not UFP? So, more abstract names like "Excelsior" and "Endeavour" can be translated, but Tsiolkovsky is Russian (hello Chekhov) scientist, and I bet average vulcan never heard of him, so Earth Starfleet starships could bear names from our history (Except for Enterprise, she was a true legend)

Good point, never thought of that. In fact, in "Bread and Circuses", isn't there a distinction made between a SPACEship and a STARship, the clear implication being that the latter is, well, badder? So maybe spaceships - then, anyway - were more like, I don't know, freighters or tankers or pleasure liners, whereas starships were military vessels?

Then again, guess it could have stood for Soviet Ship!

 

[Trollheart]

The chart then after three episodes:

Although she won't be here for all that much longer (spoiler alert - not!) Yar consolidates her lead, to surely nobody's surprise, as this episode was all about her. She scored a staggering 235 points, becoming, at this early stage, the first character to even break the 100-point barrier, never mind shatter the 200 one! Talk about destroying the glass hyper-ceiling!

So it will probably be some time before she can be dethroned, though of course after "Skin of Evil" she'll begin to fall, if she hasn't before that, as she will be unable to earn more points and others will just overtake her by virtue of her not being there. Still, it's a very respectable showing for someone who ended up being, in the context of the series as a whole, quite a minor character.

How is everyone else doing? Well, Q of course has slid again, having a similar problem of basically not being there to do anything, but sure he will be back, bigger, badder and, um, Q-er than ever, so that may change. Right now though he falls to number 4, a drop of two places. Still fairly decent for someone who hasn't been seen since the pilot episode. The only other dropper is Data, who also slides two places to number 6 from number 4.

There are small gains for Picard, who climbs one to number 4, With Beverly ahead of him at number 2, also moving one place, the other female member doing well too and getting to number 5, again a rise of one place. Everyone else stays where they are. Let's face it: Yar had this episode all but to herself. We'll see what happens after the next one, but that's how it stands for now.

 

[Paul Weaver]

Are you keeping track of numver of episodes a character is in so you could work out an average score?

 

[Jellico]

The Naked Now made mention of Captain Kirk, I thought, a little too early. No matter, I was loving new Trek on a bad reception antenna. Some how I thought, rather than hoped, that this show was going to be around for a long time.

 

[Trollheart]

Are you keeping track of numver of episodes a character is in so you could work out an average score?

No, I think I've enough to keep track of, but the character score should reflect that. I do have a "not appearing" thing, so there is that.

And on we go.


Episode title: “The Last Outpost”
Season: 1
Importance: 3 (for the introduction of the Ferengi)
Crisis point(s) if any: Enterprise is without power and everyone on board will die if it’s not restored. That sort of thing can really put a crimp in your day.
Original transmission date: October 19 1987
Writer(s): Richard Krzemien (teleplay by Herbert Wright)
Director: Richard A. Colla
Stardate:* 41386.4
Destination: Delphi Ardu IV (not actually the destination, just where they catch up with the Ferengi ship)
Mission (if any): Recover stolen energy monitor from Ferengi ship
Main character(s) in Plot: Riker
Main character(s) in Subplot (if any):
Not Appearing: O’Brien, Wesley
Villain/Monster (if any): Ferengi and then the Guardian
Deaths: 0
Lives saved (episode): 0
Lives saved (cumulative): 1

Locations:

Shipboard:
Bridge
Observation Lounge

Space:

Other:
Delphi Ardu IV

Ships/vessels: 1 (unnamed Ferengi ship)
Space battles: 0
Bodycount

Historical
0
Incidental
0
Direct
0
Total: 0
Running total: 83

Make it so: 1
Engage! 0
Combat factor: 0
Mysteries: The force field holding the Enterprise and the Ferengi vessel captive
Patients in sickbay: 0

Data v humanity: The Chinese finger puzzle eludes Data. Chortle.
Data 1 - Humanity 2

Character scores:
Picard 10
Riker 190
Troi 10
Bev 10
Geordi 20
Data 20
Worf 20
Wesley 0
O’Brien 0
Yar 10

Earl Grey: 0
Shuttlecraft: 0
Admirals: 0
Starbases: 0
First contact: 2 Ferengi, the Guardian of Forever sorry the T’Kon outpost guy
Humour: 3
Episode rating: 3/10
Episode score: 140

Correct me if I’m wrong - and I may very well be - but doesn’t that Ferengi ship look a lot like the later biological life form Tin Man, in the episode of the same name? Kind of like a shell? Okay, well, from behind anyway. This is the first we actually meet a Ferengi, and while they were still a work in progress - made to seem more cunning and nasty than what we came to know them as - it’s still good to see them, as they will of course form a major part of the entire Star Trek universe, and provide some of the best, or at least funniest episodes in at least two of the series in the franchise. The episode is another bit of a damp squib, but I’ll do what I can to inject a little interest into it.

Why is it that Picard thinks that blue, white and red is a better combination in a flag than red, white and blue? Is it merely because this is how the French flag was arranged? Or was he subtly hinting that there really is no reason for Americans to have red, white and blue on their flag? We know that on the French flag, blue represents the royalty, white peace and red the blood that was spilled to attain that peace, but the USA? Okay that's wrong, how embarrassing. Apparently blue and red were the colours of Paris. Well that's no fun. My idea is better. Well, I can still have fun at the Americans' expense, can't I? Here goes. While yes you have red states and blue states, why? Not sure if that’s the point he’s making but it could be. Data’s childish petulance, when Picard says that’s enough and he says “It was you who started it” is quite funny in its way.

"Hah! Look how small and puny these hyoo-mans are! I could eat them in one bite!"

This is the first time we get to see the ship’s warp core, and the second time that Picard is ready to surrender! Also the first time he calls Riker by his first name, Will. This doesn’t happen too often of course; usually he’s Riker or more usually Number One, sometimes Commander. Of course, from what we later know of the Ferengi, they would certainly not “fight to the last man”. In fact, in a hopeless situation they would be more than willing to bargain their way out of trouble. Interesting that the first Ferengi we ever see is played by the man who will make us love them, the man who will play Quark, Armin Shimerman, though here he is not Quark but Damon Tar. Okay I’m wrong there: always pays to read ahead before you write, Trollheart. Shimerman plays one of the Ferengi all right, but not the first one we see. Boo.

"Mr. Data, would you please tell Number One that when he is ready to apologise for calling me a bald excuse for Kirk I will be in my ready room? "

"Data, tell the captain please that I'll eat a plate of fresh ga'akh before I'll apologise."

Humour in Data’s getting somehow trapped in a Chinese finger puzzle and seeming quite at a loss, until Picard sorts it for him in irritation. You would certainly have to give Picard points for his diplomacy in dealing with the Ferengi; again you can see he’s really holding his temper back. Look at Riker! Has to be the big man. The other two - including Data - go down with one shot from the Ferengi energy whips, he has to be hit a second time. He’s so hard! I do like that the idea Ferengi have that to “force women to wear clothes” is unethical, as it encourages the males to undress them. I mean, yeah, there’s a certain sick sense about this, and it is something that ends up being perpetuated through the Ferengi culture, where women are all naked.

I think we’re possibly supposed to think these are either the first Ferengi to travel outside their star system (on the face of it, unlikely) or that at least these ones have not travelled before (slightly more likely, though stealing from the Feds as your first off-world action is neither very clever nor in any way representative of the Ferengi) but it’s odd how they classify all the Away Team as “hyoo-mahns”, given that there is a Klingon present. Data they could be forgiven for thinking is just a very pale human, but Worf? Surely they know of the Klingons? And of all the races, are not his the closest in superficial outside resemblance to the Ferengi?

"All together, boys, now: just like we rehearsed it - Oh, Fer-en-gen-ar, the mud and the rain..."

It will be some time before Riker gets that stick removed from his ass, and he is standing ramrod straight and defiant as a good officer should, but my god does he look pompous! Give him his due, he’s had the odd smile break through, but overall the sense of being up themselves was strong with these ones for almost a season, wasn’t it? Again you have to say, Kirk would never take that stance. Yeah but the episode just fizzles out doesn’t it? “Oh, fear is the enemy, is it? Okay then, let’s you and I discuss Tsun Tzu.” Sigh.

 

[Jellico]

I was not impressed with the Ferengi as they were introduced. They were strange. A lot of how they were introduced, as far as their posture, motions, etc. fell away after this episode. Armin Shimerman‘s appearance was great though, looking back.

 

[Trollheart]

Yeah it was definitely like they had a very vague idea what they would be like, act like, but no actual template for them. They tried to make them scary, which did not work at all. Also, I'm pretty sure those laser-whips vanished after that episode. Even from "The Battle" onwards we're seeing a more self-centred race more concerned with profit. Damon Bok's crew are aghast in the episode that he offers Picard the device for free (!) and then, like a bad word, they grumble that there is no profit in Bok's revenge, which then begins to establish their code of conduct. Here though, they were just laughable. I wonder who was responsible for making them into the mainstay of the franchise they became?

 

[Jellico]

Interestingly, by the time we get to DS9, gone we’re the Ferengi war ships. Even the Grand Negas had a small yacht when you’d think he’d surround himself in a carrier group. That’s a subject for another thread.