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Best. T-Shirt. Ever.

auntiehill

The Blooness
Premium Member
I hope no one has posted this before; if they have, I apologize for once again being a bit slow.

While perusing Amazon for even more crap to buy, I saw this on their homepage, advertising the item in question with what Amazon itself described as "the best customer review ever."

I had no idea of the sheer power of the Three Wolf Moon "Official" T-shirt.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.
 
The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt gave me a +10 resistance to energy attacks, +8 Strength, and added 30 feet to my normal leap. I cannot list the specific effects involving the opposite sex as I am still discovering these. And they are many.

Since owning the Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt, I have successfully solved 7 crimes in my city, including 4 cold case murders. The local police force is currently wishing to retain my services.

:techman:
 
3wolves.jpg


:D
 
Best t-shirt I've seen was on a Japanese kid, where English is... elastic:

"I'm a Cool Dud!"
 
From what I can see, Three Wolf Moon is the only t-shirt to warrant an entry in Wikipedia.

The t-shirt is manufactured by The Mountain - a wholesale clothing company in Keene, NH. Their art director, Michael McGloin, said that they were making many more shirts in response to the great demand which has made it the top selling item in Amazon's clothing store.
 
You know, I'm tempted to buy one just to reward them for the exceptional bit of advertising. :)
 
Excellent! Reading those reviews made me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. :lol:

I wonder if the 3 Wolf Moon Tee Shirt heals stomach ache? :confused:

I have to say though that some of the other recommended products have gotten some great reviews too. Particularly the Tuscan Whole Milk 1 gal 128 fl oz and the the MHP The Sandler All Wood Coffin Kit. :lol:

The Tuscan Whole Milk 1 gal 128 fl oz in particular inspired some great poetry, from an Amazon patron called Edgar who I have decided I am in love with (can't resist the soul of a poet, especially one channeling Poe over a gallon of milk):

Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condensor, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Not to sound like a complainer, but, in an inept half-gainer,
I provoked my bowl to tip and spill its contents on the floor.
Stupefied, I came to muddle over that increasing puddle,
Burgeoning deluge of that which I at present do adore -
Snowy Tuscan wholesomeness exclusively produced offshore -
Purg'ed here for evermore.

And the pool so white and silky, filled me with a sense of milky
Ardor of the type fantastic of a loss not known before,
So that now, to still the throbbing of my heart, while gently sobbing,
I retreated, heading straightway for the tempting icebox door -
Heedless of that pitter-patter tapping at the icebox door -
I resolved to have some more.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
'This,' said I, 'requires an extra dram of milk, my favorite pour.'
To the icebox I aspired, motivated to admire
How its avocado pigment complemented my decor.
Then I grasped its woodgrain handle - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams of Tuscans I had known before
But the light inside was broken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only words there spoken were my whispered words, 'No more!'
Coke and beer, some ketchup I set eyes on, and an apple core -
Merely this and nothing more.

Back toward the table turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I, 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

From the window came a stirring, then, with an incessant purring,
Inside stepped a kitten; mannerlessly did she me ignore.
Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;
But, with mien of lord or lady, withdrew to my dining floor -
Pounced upon the pool of Tuscan spreading o'er my dining floor -
Licked, and lapped, and supped some more.

Then this tiny cat beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grand enthusiasm of the countenance she wore,
Toward the mess she showed no pity, 'til I said, 'Well, hello, kitty!'
Sought she me with pretty eyes that seemed to open some rapport.
So I pleaded, 'Tell me, tell me what it is that you implore!'
Quoth the kitten, 'Get some more.'
 
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"Jesus is coming - everyone look busy"

Or the one with images "depicting" all the different kinds of farts, then on the back there's a brown shape that extends out from the shirt and all it says is 'follow through'.
 
I had a two-wolf shirt for a while and I didn't think life could get any better. I was wrong. Life got 50% better, no lie.

That just made my night.

BTW, people who post in the thread without checking out the link, uh, check out the link :)
 
What's really funny is that hubby's best friend actually OWNS the 3 Wolf shirt--as I just found out. He, however, has been rather disappointed with the results so far.

He likes this review:
I ordered next-day air (if only there was same day!), and, of course, a size smaller than usual to ensure the closeness of the wolves to my chest hair. When the package arrived, I tore it open, and I SWEAR angels sang. I think it was Freebird. I immediately removed my "No Fat Chicks" shirt, and replaced it with this finery. Lemme tell you: AW YEAH.
 
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