Best comebacks/"zing" in Trek?

[You_Will_Fail]

*It should be "zings", oops

I have just finished watching Voyager "Prey" and Seven completely owns Janeway at the end

Seven of Nine: It is puzzling.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: What's that?
Seven of Nine: You made me into an individual. You encouraged me to stop thinking like a member of the Collective, to cultivate my independence and my humanity. But when I try to assert that independence, I am punished.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: Individuality has its limits - especially on a starship where there's a command structure.
Seven of Nine: I believe that you are punishing me because I do not think the way that you do. Because I am not becoming more like you. You claim to respect my individuality. But in fact, you are frightened by it.
Captain Kathryn Janeway: As you were.

I took my name from that very episode, seeing Seven say coldly and seriously to Janeway "you will fail" and refusing to follow her orders was incredibly refreshing to not only Voyager but trek in general.

Its hard for me to remember many others at the moment, so feel free to share yours

 

[TiberiusMaximus]

The EMH slapping Paris to prove that holograms might as well have mass.

Odo: "I heard an interesting rumor today."
Quark: "Only one? I started at least twelve."

 

[Nightdiamond]

DAX : I wouldn't let him hear you say that.

LESKIT: He won't. Unless Worf isn't the only one sharing your bed on this trip.


DAX : On this trip, my bed's as empty as yours, Leskit. Except mine's empty by choice.

 

[You_Will_Fail]

LOL, Dax sure had a sharp tongue, I seem to remember her putting Dr Bashir in his place in "Quickening" but I forget the exact quote.

 

[CaptainStoner]

There's the TNG ep where Q has lost his powers, but the crew is so used to his games they don't believe him. Q asks what he can do to prove he's now just a normal hominid, and Worf says, "Die."

 

[Captrek]

Best Comeback/Zing
MCCOY: One, just once, I'd like to be able to land someplace and say, “Behold, I am the Archangel Gabriel.”
SPOCK: I fail to see the humour in that situation, Doctor.
MCCOY: Naturally. You could hardly claim to be an angel with those pointed ears, Mister Spock. But say you landed someplace with a pitchfork.

Worst Comeback/Zing
KIRK: Double dumb ass on you!

 

[Alidar Jarok]

The EMH slapping Paris to prove that holograms might as well have mass.

Odo: "I heard an interesting rumor today."
Quark: "Only one? I started at least twelve."

I think this thread could consist entirely of Quark/Odo dialogue and we'd be here for quite awhile.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

The best zinger in all Trek history, past and present:

Spock laying the smackdown on the Vulcan Science Council in ST XI. The way he says "Live long and prosper" but makes it sound like "Fuck you".

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

The best zinger in all Trek history, past and present:

Spock laying the smackdown on the Vulcan Science Council in ST XI. The way he says "Live long and prosper" but makes it sound like "Fuck you".

Oh, yeah...that was AWESOME.

 

[6079SmithW]

Mirror T'Pol: I'm not a slave.

Mirror Archer: You're Vulcan. Never forget that.

Kind of a dark comeback, but a good one I think.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

The best zinger in all Trek history, past and present:

Spock laying the smackdown on the Vulcan Science Council in ST XI. The way he says "Live long and prosper" but makes it sound like "Fuck you".

Oh, yeah...that was AWESOME.

It's interesting how some people can take one short phrase, or even just a word, and make that sound so utterly menacing. Spock's delivery of that line - he PWNED the entire council!

It's the same way that on Law & Order, Michael Moriarty made just one word - "sir" - sound like the most devastating insult in the world. When his character (Ben Stone) said that to somebody, game over!

 

[Rush Limborg]

Also from Trek XI--Spock and Bones have their first argument, over whether or not banishing Kirk was the right thing to do:

Bones: ...but on Earth, we have a saying: If you wanna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable!

Spock: Curious metaphor, Doctor--as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its true potential. /


And from "Strange Bedfellows" (I'm going from memory here--bear with me):

Damar: Oh...I'm sure [the Founder] will understand. But if she doesn't...I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9!

 

[Robert D. Robot]

There's the TNG ep where Q has lost his powers, but the crew is so used to his games they don't believe him. Q asks what he can do to prove he's now just a normal hominid, and Worf says, "Die."

Q: "Oh, very clever, Worf. Eat any good books lately?"

 

[Rush Limborg]

^Agreed.

 

[Chris3123]

The EMH slapping Paris to prove that holograms might as well have mass.

Odo: "I heard an interesting rumor today."
Quark: "Only one? I started at least twelve."

I think this thread could consist entirely of Quark/Odo dialogue and we'd be here for quite awhile.

Quark: "'Dear Quark, Used parts from your disruptor to fix the replicators. Will return them soon. Rom.' I will kill him!"
Odo: "With what?"

Quark: "Someone's extracted all the latinum! There's nothing here but worthless gold!"
Odo: "And it's all yours."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Ironic, in that Odo once said that Rom "couldn't fix a straw if it was bent" although we also know that Rom is quite a talented engineer. Guess Odo's perceptions aren't always perfect.

 

[Pauln6]

Sulu: "Fair maiden!"
Uhura: "Sorry, neither!"

So maybe TOS Uhura also got some bifurcated action back at the Acadamy after all.

 

[Gaith]

The EMH's daydream:
Borg: We are the Borg.
EMHwaves hand dismissively) I know perfectly well who you are.



Paris tells Tuvok that under his cold, hard exterior, he's a hopeless romantic.
Tuvok: Surely there is no cause to insult me, Mr. Paris.



Seven: There seem to be countless rituals and cultural beliefs designed to alleviate their fear of a simple biological truth: all organisms eventually perish.



Kirk observes that they've saved the galaxy once again.
McCoy: And the good news is, they're not going to prosecute.



And then there's this.

 

[Gorn Captain]

"Earth, Hitler, 1938."

 

[Thor Damar]

Also from Trek XI--Spock and Bones have their first argument, over whether or not banishing Kirk was the right thing to do:

Bones: ...but on Earth, we have a saying: If you wanna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prize stallion in the stable!

Spock: Curious metaphor, Doctor--as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its true potential. /


And from "Strange Bedfellows" (I'm going from memory here--bear with me):

Damar: Oh...I'm sure [the Founder] will understand. But if she doesn't...I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9!

And the follow up:

Damar: "maybe you should talk to Wolf again!"


Weyoun himself gets one in tears of the prophets


Weyoun: All this talk of gods and prophets? strikes me as nothing more than superstitious nonsense.

Damar: (dismissively) You believe that the founders are gods

Weyoun: That's different.

Damar: (snorting) In what way?

Weyoun: The Founders Are Gods!

(fixes Damar with a significant look, the Legate goes into one of his trademark passive agressive sulks)