Is anybody else picturing Bruce, Dick, and Tim in costume sitting behind a desk in a comunity center evaluating potential Batmen.
"Dawg, I'm just not feeling it . . . ."
Bruce is Simon. Dick is Randy. So poor Tim gets to be Paula?!!!
[Batman contender is fighting three goons. The first goes down, but he struggles with the last two. He takes out the third but is wheezing and having trouble standing straight.]
Bruce Wayne/Batman: What the hell was that?
Alan Ritchson: [nervously] Me being a superhero.
Bruce Wayne/Batman: One of the worst I've ever seen.
Alan Ritchson:
[shocked] Okay.
Bruce Wayne/Batman: Alan, I hate you so much, I want to shoot you in your face and I don't use guns! You little creepy piece of crap. You'll never been the goddamn Batman!
Alan Ritchson:
[quivering] All right.
Tim Drake/Robin: I like you, but you're just not right for this competition.
Dick Grayson/Batman: I gotta tell you for me, man, that was not even half good, dude. You can't fight. What're you doin' here, Alan? Go back to the minors and try again.
Bruce Wayne/Batman: Dick, why the hell are you talking like that. Maybe we should have you go through a try out again!
Dick Grayson/Batman: Maybe you should too. That clone was more Batman than you these days Mister 'Who Wants to be the Goddamn Batman'? Next thing you know they'll be saying we're gay for each other again and you'll hire Ryan Seacrest to host.
Alan Ritchson: [Trying to get attention] Ex-excuse me but did I win?
Bruce Wayne/Batman: What the hell do you think you little twit? Now get out of here before I use you for target practice.
Tim Drake/Red Robin: [sigh]We're a strange batfamily.
Alan Ritchson: I don't even care! They don't know what they's talkin' 'bout! Next time they hear about me, they-they-they's gonna be like, "We was wrong 'bout Alan". 'Cause, 'cause I's gonna be huge! I-I's gonna be bigger than every one of all y'all!
[Looks at a sign for DC's AQUAMAN tryouts] That's the ticket!
[goes inside to apply]