I'd rather not dignify the original "reviewer" with a response. Let it suffice to say that I disagree with his decision to use his dissatisfaction with one brief passage from a single work to impugn the quality of the overall TrekLit line, since it seems to imply that all Trek authors work in identical prose styles — an assumption that is readily falsifiable.Care to beef up the defense, David?
While his generalisation is unfairly broad, I do understand his frustration. I too have given up on tie-in novels, not only Star Trek, because the writing style often grated with me. This is not necessarily a criticism of the authors; heck, Tolkein's writing style grates with me, and I must say that the exceptions to this rule with tie-in books are almost exclusively Star Trek ones.
However, I felt that the reviewer linked to in the OP captured quite nicely the things which do put me off this branch of literature. The reviewer's own style is overly confrontational and rude, but the points he makes are valid, imho. The over-zealous description, the unnecessary attempts to portray a detailed scene from a TV show on the written page rather than allow the reader's imagination in, the clunky attempt at a 'mystery speaker' reveal, all put me off reading a book like that one, before I've even reached the end of the first page. The early pages of a novel should draw me into the story, and engage me with the author's way of telling it. Here, the extract quoted would make me put the book back on the shelf. It's a personal preference, nothing more, but that is essentially all a review is. It's just the linked reviewers opinion, not surprisingly, clashes with a forum dedicated to Trek literature.