Bad Joke...

[Capn Flukie]

A pervert was sitting on the beach when he saw a little girl walking towards him, so he buries himself in the the sand with just his wang hanging out.

Later on, the girl goes home and her mother asks; "Where were you?"

"I was at the beach, where there was this weird bird. I petted it, but it spit at me. So, I broke it's neck, burned it's nest, and crushed it's eggs."

 

[KJbushway]

That is so wrong it makes it funny.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

After driving around in circles for almost an hour in Manhattan vainly searching for a parking space, the frustrated driver exclaims, "Please, Lord, just give me a place to park this car and I swear I will never miss another Sunday church service for the rest of my life!" A few seconds later, he spots an open spot about a half-block ahead. "Never mind, Lord," he says. "I found one!"

 

[Haggis and tatties]

I went to he doctors because i had strawberries coming out of my bum...he gave me some cream for them.

Two monkeys getting into a hot bath, one monkey goes" Ohh OHH AHH AHHH EEEKK EEEKKK!"......the other says "Well put some cold water in then".

 

[Aldo]

One night a man went to a cheap prostitute. The next day he found out he had crabs. When he went to her to complain she said "What did you expect for five dollars...lobster?"

 

[Vulcan Princess]

At the beginning of a trial, the jury selection process was underway. The first lawyer began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, "Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?" No one answered him. Before the pause became too long, though, the judge announced, "I do."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I was going to enter ten of my jokes in a contest. I thought some of them would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

 

[Mr Silver]

I was going to enter ten of my jokes in a contest. I thought some of them would win, but unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I would have placed a Punt on at least one of them winning...

 

[Skellington]

A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.
As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied
"They will in a minute."

 

[Australis]

This is my favorite ever joke:

Q. What is brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

And what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

 

[Schistocerca]

Tiger woods drives his new BMW into a garage to get some fuel. As he is filling up his car the guy in the car next to him notices some golf tees on the driver's seat of Tiger's car. The guy asks Tiger what they are and Tiger tells him "they are what you put your balls in before you drive off". "Wow" says the guy, "BMW think of everything!"

 

[K'Ehleyr]

This is my favorite ever joke:

Q. What is brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

And what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A boomewrong?

 

[Myasishchev]

The Aristocrats!

 

[KJbushway]

This is more of a song.
Yankee doodle went to town riding on a lady
squeezed her tit, made her shit
Then she had a baby.
^ sry if this offends anybody.

 

[LitmusDragon]

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

 

[Schistocerca]

How many psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has got to want to change.

 

[Servo]

Paddy and Mick are standing in front of a flagpole...
"That's a tall flagpole there Paddy", says Mick.
"To be sure" replies Paddy, "but I wonder just how tall it is?"
A builder overhears this and approaches the two.
"I'll tell you lads", the builder exclaims.
The builder takes the flagpole down, lies it on the ground and measures it with his tape measure.
"This is a 38.5ft flagpole lads" says the builder.
"Oh, erm, thanks" Paddy replies.
As the builder walks away, Paddy turns to Mick and says,
"The feckin idiot. I wanted to know how tall it is, not how long it is".

 

[Australis]

This is my favorite ever joke:

Q. What is brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

And what do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A boomewrong?

Or possibly... a stick?

 

[Mr Silver]

Sheamus goes to visit his friend Paddy one day and says to him , "Watcha doin?! Dere's a sign outside dat says 'Boat for Sale.' You ain't got a boat, Paddy. All you got is a Tractor and a Trailor."

"Aye," says Paddy, "and dere boat for sale."

 

[backstept]

Have ya met my friend Paddy? Paddy O'Furniture?
Likes the outdoors, and barbecues.