Bad Joke...

[Gil T.Azell]

A gynaecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skilful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could.

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynaecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150%. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?"

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50% of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth
50% of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50% because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career".

 

[Finn]

 

[The Boy Who Cried Worf]

Why has everybody in Miscellaneous become so genital obsessed lately?

 

[Mr Silver]

Rather than let this thread be closed due to lack of content, lets make this thread about bad (although) funny jokes...heres one of my favourites

What does Mr Kipling do in his spare time?

Fills tarts with cream

 

[DeafPoet]

A priest, a rapist and a pedophile walk into a bar. So did a couple other guys after him.

Buh dum bum [/Piscopo Data]

 

[Mr Silver]

Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
I'm a Schizophrenic
And so am I....

 

[backstept]

roses are red
violets are blue
the grass is green
and so is lettuce

 

[K'Ehleyr]

A man walked into a bar ~ ouch!

 

[Aldo]

Ok, here's a good one.

Two guys were at the golfing range ready to enjoy a round of golf. After a while of trying to decide who should tee off first, they both decide to tee of at the same time. After hitting their balls one guys ball hooks wildly to the left out of the fairway. The other guys ball similarly hooks right to the other side of the fairway.

The first guy goes over to find his ball. He sees it in a field of butter grass. Taking out an iron he hits it back onto the fairway. All of a sudden out of nowhere a woman appears to him. "I am mother nature," she says... "May your lips never touch butter again," then she promptly vanishes.

Bewildered at what the man just saw he goes and finds his friend. "Hey buddy where you at?" he asks. "I just saw the weirded thing ever. From the trees his buddy replies "I'm over here, my ball just landed in a field of pussy willows."

 

[ManOnTheWave]

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, " what is this, some kind of joke?"

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

This is my favorite ever joke:

Q. What is brown and sticky?

A. A stick.

 

[TexasNightt]

A pirate walks into a bar with a huge steering wheel sticking out the front of his pants...
Bartender looks up says, Isn't that annoying?

Pirate says, YAAAAAAR It's Drivin me Nuts.

 

[KJbushway]

A priest, reverend, and an atheist go fishing. The priest gets up and says I have to go pee. He then steps over the side of the boat walk across the water to the shore and takes a leak. He then walks back across the water to the boat. The reverend then gets up and says now I have to go pee. He too steps out of the boat, walks across the water, takes a piss, and then walks back across the water into the boat.
The atheist says to himself I have to try this. He steps over the side of the boat and falls straight into the water. The priest turns to the reverend and says " should we have told him about the rocks".

 

[Canadave]

One day, three statisticians are out hunting ducks. The first takes aim, and misses ten feet to the left of a duck. The second fires seconds later, missing ten feet to the right. The third then cries, "Direct hit!"

 

[captcalhoun]

Bill Shankley, Kenny Dagleish, and Alex Ferguson go fishing. Shankley gets up and says "I have to go pee". He then steps over the side of the boat walk across the water to the shore and takes a leak. He then walks back across the water to the boat. The Kenny then gets up and says "now I have to go pee." He too steps out of the boat, walks across the water, takes a piss, and then walks back across the water into the boat.
Fergie says to himself 'I have to try this'. He steps over the side of the boat and falls straight into the water. Kenny turns to Shankley and says "Should we have told him about the rocks?"

to which Shankley replies "What rocks?"

 

[KJbushway]

Wow this sounds familiar.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

A cute little girl walks into a pet shop. She shakes her blonde pony tails and stands on tippy toes at the counter to ask...
"Please sir, do you have any bunny wabbits?"
The kind pet shop keeper looks down...
"Yes we do my dear. We have fluffy white bunny wabbits, long glossy black bunny wabbits or bunny wabbits with really long ears. Which would you like?"

The little girl tilts her head and says

"I don't think my python is going to give a fuck what it looks like"


*works better with the accents *

 

[KJbushway]

^ either way thats funny.

 

[Myasishchev]

Why has everybody in Miscellaneous become so genital obsessed lately?

It's spring, and love is in the air.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

^ either way thats funny.