To the staff on Sun., June 29. To the world at large, today, July 1.
TO: Staff and Crew of the Star Trek Experience
FROM: The Boss (Not Bruce Springsteen)
RE: The End of Your Universe As You Know It
Please note, that your services as Ferengi, Klingons, Trill, Boliens, Romulans, Humans, generally hot female aliens, etc., will no longer be required as of September 1, 2008.
We appreciate your continued efforts to make a unique and satisfying environment and experience for the types of guests who enjoy this type of thing -- even in other months besides August.
We've had many requests regarding the physical "pieces" of the STE. All we know at this point is that the replicas of the starship themselves have been "dibbed" by someone named Dayton Ohio. Pending the approval by CBS, this is apocryphal, and not to be considered canon at this point. Also, beware those SNW writers who will try to sneak
anything out under their TOS shirts, or in their briefcases which still hold their unsold SNW short stories.
Be please forewarned to expect the most eager and avid of Trek fans between now and closing and, I suspect, some form of intergalactic protest with very neatly-lettered signs in various Star Trek fonts. (Personally, I recommend Crillee, the opening credit font from TNG as it is easiest to read from a distance. Nebula, the TOS font, just drives me crazy in long passages).
There has been a lot of speculation as to what will be occupying this space after we're gone. Jericho Experience, Heroes Experience, reimagined BSG Experience ... all rumors.
There had been hope of holding out until the new Trek movie was released, re-energizing the public interest in the Experience, however, you would still need to be replaced by younger versions of yourselves, were that true.
We know you will continue delivering the exceptional customer service and relations this summer that you have over the previous years. Just please try not to cry in someone's Romulan Ale, and please do not drink yourself into a stupor at one of the other casino bars while in costume.
We will happy to write you excellent letters of recommendation for future employment as franchise aliens in the many businesses that exist for such things.
Thank you for your service, but we're reaching the truly Final Frontier, and it's time to beam out.
Live Long and Good Luck Prospering,
The Management
P.S. Your generous severance will be paid in quatloos. And regarding the ongoing Leisner Barroom Incident litigation, we have every confidence the decision will go our way and all your medical bills will be fully reimbursed. Including the plastic surgery costs.
--Ted