Ashes to Ashes Series 2

[Bob The Skutter]

Everyone masturbates. I refuse to believe anyone who says they don't, or haven't. Unless you have no limbs and a land mine blew your cock off, you've choked that chicken, and that's the end of it.

There was definitely flawed methodology in that survey though, it was done in a face to face interview, people are hardly gonna say "yeah, I have a tug 5 times a day and 8 on sunday." face to face. I bet if it was an anon online one you'd get plenty of "I'm doing it right now." responses.

 

[Jim Steele]

^

people are hardly gonna say "yeah, I have a tug 5 times a day and 8 on sunday."

I would...

And - stop spying on me.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^

people are hardly gonna say "yeah, I have a tug 5 times a day and 8 on sunday."

I would...

And - stop spying on me.

Nevah!

 

[ITL]

Never before has a thread about a TV show morphed so effortlessly into an informal yet informative chat about fake wanking percentages.

 

[Jim Steele]

I texted my mate Ric the other day, feeling a bit down. I said:

"Man, I've just realised that the only thing I've achieved this year is earning a few Xbox 360 achievements. I suck at life."

His reply:

"My greatest achievement last month was managing two wanks in a row, at least yours increases your gamerscore"

And all I could think was... Two in a row? That's quite an achievement!

 

[Deckerd]

Sooner or later they'll combine the two and bring out a wanking game.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I texted my mate Ric the other day, feeling a bit down. I said:

"Man, I've just realised that the only thing I've achieved this year is earning a few Xbox 360 achievements. I suck at life."

His reply:

"My greatest achievement last month was managing two wanks in a row, at least yours increases your gamerscore"

And all I could think was... Two in a row? That's quite an achievement!

2? Pah, that's a paltry amount... oops, I think I revealed more about myself than I meant to there.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

Sooner or later they'll combine the two and bring out a wanking game.

Dildonics... ask Craig Charles, he'll tell you about it.

 

[Deckerd]

It would never make any money. Nobody would get to the end of the game. Or even the end of the training sequence...

 

[Jim Steele]

I wouldn't even get past the first title splash.

Hehe... splash.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

It would never make any money. Nobody would get to the end of the game. Or even the end of the training sequence...

Course it would make money, you only have to sell it for console and PC and you've got an installed user base of hundreds of millions of people who'll wank themselves silly, until the sequel that you get a variety of sex toy type strap ons... er add ons.

Oh, and dildonics is a real thing, it's just Craig Charles did a stand up routine about it, "Who'd want to have sex with a computer? Think about it, if it crashes it could rip your dick off and fax it to Canada before you knew what was going on."

 

[Jim Steele]

Paging Nintendo!

Coming Soon: Wii Fist

 

[Deckerd]

I know what dildonics is. My idea was better.

sniff

 

[Bob The Skutter]

I know what dildonics is. My idea was better.

sniff

Pitch it, I'm sure some weird Japanese dev will run with it.

 

[Pindar]

Wasn't there a Joystick waggling game for the Atari ST way back when.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^Ah, Track and Field... so many snapped joysticks, so many ache filled arms....

 

[Pindar]

^Ah, Track and Field... so many snapped joysticks, so many ache filled arms....

The game I am think of worked like that but animated porn cut scenes.

 

[Bob The Skutter]

^Ah, Track and Field... so many snapped joysticks, so many ache filled arms....

The game I am think of worked like that but animated porn cut scenes.

On the Atari? That must have been a sight to see.

 

[Australis]

Jeez, Jim, Who, Dwarf, A2A, is there any Brit SF show you do like?

Jeez, here we go again...

I love Doctor Who, Red Dwarf, and Life on Mars, along with a panoply of other home grown shows. Doesn't mean I have to adore every single episode (or spin off, or long awaited but ultimately shitty revival).

I watch A2A (for Glenister mostly) and I've yet to be impressed. I can't help that.

If you say Hyperdrive I WILL hit you.

Good god no.

Y'know, people have had a go at me for not liking that show too. Apparently, my "rose tinted glasses" for Red Dwarf (a show I've watched on DVD many times over in my adult life) stopped me from liking it - not the fact that it was a steaming pile of rectum.

Seriously, you should figure out what you like in a show, write it in a pilot script and send it to the BBC Writers Room. I'm not being sarky, if you can create something to a standard you like that isn't going to cost the Earth to produce, you could be on to something.

I'm writing an audio sitcom...

Not really sure how to respond to this, to be honest. I'd never claim, nor do I believe, that I could do a better job than (most) television writers. Does that mean I'm not allowed to criticize their work?

Look, it's not like I come into these threads screaming "it's shit and you all suck". There's a discussion about a show, I throw in my opinion with everyone else and try my best to give my reasons for loving/loathing it. What's wrong with that? Not whining, just genuinely wondering what the deal is here. Am I not allowed to share my thoughts unless they're positive?

Good reply. Thanks for that. I don't agree with a lot of your opinions, but they are often valid. I'd just rather kick back and be entrtained, but then I also admit to being shallow that way.

 

[wamdue]

ok what happened to this thread?