Are everyone "supposed" to have children?

[Kor]

Nobody should feel pressured to have kids. I certainly refuse to put up with anything like that. I won't go into detail, but I'd rather my line just ended with me. My reaction to an awful domestic life in childhood and adolescence is to never, ever try to start one of my own.

Kor

 

[fireproof78]

I'll add this. If, big if in this thread, you decide to have kids, take a Circle of Security parenting class or something along those lines. Learn how how you were parented impacts your parenting and deal with your own shit.

Also, as one psychology professor put it, every time you have sex and don't get pregnant biology goes "Nuts! Missed another one!" So, remember that as fun as sex is, medical science has finally proven that sex and babies are somehow linked.

 

[Oddish]

If you don't want kids, don't have them. Period, exclamation mark. Every child who enters this world should be welcomed wholeheartedly. If you can't do that, then use the pill, tie your tubes, or do the rhythm method.

Honestly, I'm good with kids, and I wish I could have had them. But no sane woman would have a loser like me, and they took away my key card to the sanitarium, which kind if takes the crazy ones off the table as well. Sometimes you choose your life, sometimes your life chooses you. If you are the former, choose wisely. With 7.5 billion humans on this rock, I don't think we'll be facing extinction either way.

 

[Relayer1]

Never wanted kids, and neither did Mrs Relayer until she did.

We've got one. I love him to bits, grown as he is, and couldn't imagine not having him. I must say though, I was just as happy before I was a parent as I am now.

If you want children have them, if you don't, don't. Ignore the people telling you that you should. They're invariably parents themselves and need the validation that they've done the right thing. Your childlessness is playing on their insecurities.

 

[Mrs. Silvercrest]

I wanted to add one more thing. I have a friend that has a disease that makes life really hard. And she really wanted to have kids but really didn't know if she should or could handle it. Finally she decided to have a kid. She married her boyfriend and they got pregnant with a double dose. Two boys! It was a very hard expecting time for her. And well, things didn't really go that well. She loves the boys. But the dad didn't want to deal with 2 babies. And there were other things I won't get into. They divorced and she is dealing with her health and the two boys that don't have the disease she has, thankfully, but they each have problems. And she has to deal with them 24/7 no help or breaks really. And I worry about her and her health. They are 6 now and because of the virus on top of it all she has to home school them and try and work full time from home. I know it is taking a toll on her. As I said in my post it was not an easy choice for me. But I know I couldn't do it because of my health. Lucky, we do have friends that share their kids with us. But then we can always say good night and go home to our no kid house and the cat. And recover and then see them again another day...

 

[Nyotarules]

Everyone does not have to breed, everyone does not have to get married, everyone does not have to follow ALL the cultural rules of their society.
Some people have children due to others folks expectations be it family or religion....the cultural pressure is real, fight it!

 

[Sparkle Fabulosa]

Fuck the Life Script!

 

[Oddish]

For the person who is ready for the rollercoaster experience that is parenthood, a child is the greatest gift life can bestow on you, and childlessness is a curse that will torment you relentlessly to the day you die.

For the person who is not ready for that experience, and you know whether you are or not, it's reversed. The best thing you can do is remain childless, and the worst thing you can do is breed. DO NOT let anyone pressure you. No child, and I repeat NO CHILD should enter this world except into the loving arms of parents who wanted him. I cannot say it loudly enough or often enough... until you're ready, keep it on your pants or use reliable birth control. And when you're ready, if you ever are, the adventure of parenting awaits.

 

[B'elanna_Torres]

I'm fairly sure I won't be having children as I am enjoying my mix of work, social life, partying, going out and dating. I just don't see myself as a mother and I couldn't do the job my amazing mother did for me as I was growing up.

 

[Oddish]

With 7.7 billion of us already here, I don't think your decision will affect the continuity of the human race.

 

[B'elanna_Torres]

Good to know.
Plus, do you really want two of me in the world?

 

[EARTHER]

What do you think, is the society around us expecting everyone to have children?

I've been wondering this because I don't want to have children. I don't think I have ever had the dream of having children of my own and over the recent years even less after being diagnosed with MS, I just couldn't handle it. I'm 37 years old, might be too "late" anyway.... Biologically it might be possible but I don't think I want to start up a family at this age nor later. When I was in my early 20s I remember thinking that the only reason to get into a relationship was sex. It's still true today.

I do have about 2 and a half year old goddaughter and I think she's enough for me. After spending time with her with this disease I don't think I could handle all that goes into taking care of a child.

I started to think about this after reading something from the web, a Finnish 33 year old woman didn't want to have kids and some people apparently had asked her "what's wrong with you?"

Which society are you in? Amish? Haredi? Rough Trade? Suburban? Serbian Gypsy? Denebian Slime Devil? New York 400? White Trash? “Urban Contemporary”? Nunnery?

 

[EARTHER]

Which society are you in? Amish? Haredi? Rough Trade? Suburban? Serbian Gypsy? Denebian Slime Devil? New York 400? White Trash? “Urban Contemporary”? Nunnery?

How is this related to Star Trek?

 

[Oddish]

How is this related to Star Trek?

It doesn't have to be. Miscellaneous means miscellaneous.

B'ELANNA TORRES: "Do you want two of me in the world?"

I don't know you, so I don't know. But considering the ostracism I have experienced in life, I feel that it is probably for the best that my children have been terminated in the only moral way possible: before conception.

 

[B'elanna_Torres]

That kind of sums up how I feel. Not that I would intend to ostracise future children, but I love my life where I mostly do things at the drop of a hat. For me, that's beautiful and, knowing how I was raised, there's a lot of hard work, commitment and sacrifice that is needed to be a good person.

I am simply not that person.

That's why my rule is protected sex or none at all.

 

[Kerock]

I know a few that Darwin award winners that definitely should not reproduce.

 

[Oddish]

I'm not stupid, just nearly universally disliked by anyone who possesses adult or even teen level interpersonal skills.

 

[Australis]

@Oddish as you said to B'elanna, I don't know you well enough to know why you're "universally disliked". I don't see that happening here, at least so far. Sometimes people don't understand you or are misinformed, or got a bad first impression. Maybe you're in the wrong physical location, or just need a new group of friends to hang out with. Not sure what the situation is with meetups right now, but they'll come back, maybe you should check one out.

@B'elanna_Torres what state are you in? I'm on the Sunshine Coast. There's one in Newcastle, I think, a couple in Melbourne, and one in SA.

 

[B'elanna_Torres]

Victoria here - under very harsh lockdown

The good news is that we are down to ONE, yes, one SINGLE case. So you would think we would at least be able to live a similar quality of life to that of NSW.

I even posted a mini-rant on it in the "what are you wearing thread" - i just had to go for a late night walk.

Maybe the changes planned for tomorrow will help.

 

[Mojochi]

Instinctually? Yes. By nature, the human animal is designed to propagate under pretty much all circumstances... even unto its own miserably overpopulated downfall apparently.

Logically? Hell no. Of all the times in human history... NO, especially now. If we all adhered to a philosophy of doing all the things our primal instincts urge us to do... think of the chaos of living in that world, which would be just like the one we're living in unfortunately.