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APA setting things straight!
- Thread starter trekkiedane
- Start date
Ok, seriously, how on earth can you disagree that when I saw someone change their orientation that it had anything at all to do with church? I don't think that person has been to a church in years. She's like a Wiccan or something.
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Amaris
Guest
Highlighted in bold:
That's how I can disagree.
I also have lots more where that came from. I have made it a part of my ministry for the last seven years.
I have heard and seen a great deal that contradicts what you have said.
J.
You disagree that I knew a woman who was a lesbian then fell in love with a dude and is getting married and it had nothing to do with the church? WTH?
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Amaris
Guest
Work with me here, Michael. I'm talking about churches that shun gay people. You're talking about an instance where you most likely met a bisexual who had a change of heart over who she would rather be with. I'm talking about lots of firsthand data on how gays are treated in many churches and
"treatment" centers.
J.
I wasn't talking about that in any way whatsoever. I was talking about the fact that orientation can change. As I said I think in most circumstances it does not change. My church definitely does not shun gay people by the way. Just at church this morning I was sitting next to a high school kid who I met at a church sponsored trip who happens to be gay.
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Amaris
Guest
That it is, and I've seen the shattered lives to prove it.
You responded to RJ that he "couldn't have been further away from the truth" about gays and treatment by churches.
I replied to that, citing my own experiences throughout my ministry and from hundreds of gays over the years who have spoken with me.
J.
Why don't you guys each acknowledge that BOTH of you have valid experiences? Not all churches are cruel to homosexuals. And not all churches are kind. Why not quit squabbling over whose experience is more valid than the others and recognize the fact that you're both on the same side here? (i.e. against cruel treatment of homosexuals)
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Amaris
Guest
No, i responded that he couldn't have further away from the truth about my experiences (since that is what he was talking about). My experiences had absolutely nothing to do with the church.
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Amaris
Guest
Commander Rabbit
Commander
Sounds to me like she's bisexual. I've had several friends who have had significant relationships w/ partners of both genders.
In the one specific instance you cited, you may have known a bisexual who chose a partner of the opposite sex. Or you may have known someone who talked herself into behaving a certain way because of the pressure.
This isn't aimed at Michael Chris as he may just not be expressing himself very clearly on the nature of her decision, but the difference between orientation and behaviour still seems to be a subject of confusion for a great deal of people.
Which I find strange because I can't see how anybody who understands their own sexuality and how their own behaviour pertains to that could possibly fail to understand the distinction.
Which I find strange because I can't see how anybody who understands their own sexuality and how their own behaviour pertains to that could possibly fail to understand the distinction.
And some suppress their true desires...but eventually it (almost) always surfaces.
The thing I hate is that people think that a bi-sexual person is incapable of a monogamous relationship and that is the furtherst thing from the truth.
Rii
Rear Admiral
If bisexuals didn't so often use their sexuality to excuse infidelity this perception would probably die off.
Indeed. Sexuality isn't some sort of switch. Some people seem to believe that, when it comes to the whole "conversion" thing, like you can just shove someone along a track from GAY over to STRAIGHT. And even saying sexuality is like a line is a gross simplification, there are all sorts of branches and fiddly bits that confuse the whole thing. Saying someone was gay and then they became straight is ridiculous... even if she's getting married to a man, she almost certainly is still attracted to women.
It's actually the other way around where if they tell someone that thier bi the guy will automatically assume that if she cheats it would be with a woman (and vise-versa). If you're a cheater you're a cheater, no matter your sexuality and in my experience I've not heard most bi-sexuals use their bi-sexuality as an excuse to cheat.
This whole thing about 'changing' orientation is a load of crap. We are what we are, and there's nothing that's ever gonna change that. All that could possibly come out of this sort of thing is either somebody who's now so totally in the closet that they could see Narnia, or worse yet, they end up so conflicted that they can't function at all.
You can't change gay to straight, straight to gay, Yankee fan to Red Sox fan, or anything like that. If we started accepting people rather than forcing them to change, we'd all be a lot better off.
Another thing that's total bollocks is the notion that any kind of orientation is any more likely to cheat than any other. So bis have more 'options' available, big deal! I like girls with long or short hair, doesn't mean I'm any more likely to cheat than somebody who only likes one or the other. Now that might seem silly, but so is this thing about bis and cheating. I suspect that most people who complain about that, all they really want to do is *watch* the cheating...
You can't change gay to straight, straight to gay, Yankee fan to Red Sox fan, or anything like that. If we started accepting people rather than forcing them to change, we'd all be a lot better off.
Another thing that's total bollocks is the notion that any kind of orientation is any more likely to cheat than any other. So bis have more 'options' available, big deal! I like girls with long or short hair, doesn't mean I'm any more likely to cheat than somebody who only likes one or the other. Now that might seem silly, but so is this thing about bis and cheating. I suspect that most people who complain about that, all they really want to do is *watch* the cheating...
