My now ex boyfriend introduced me to STV. And I fell in love with Neelix quickly, and he is my most favourite character of all.
Honestly, it's his character and personality, and with all the crap I am going through emotionally and mentally in my life, if I met either Ethan Phillips or especially him dressed as Neelix..it may sound stupid, but it would help me a lot.
Neelix is a really great character and I think people had a hard time seeing beyond what he was maybe meant to be, the comic relief.
He's a very warm and caring individual...
And he is the embodiment of all the things I wish I could find in a partner irl...truly.
Kes was lucky to have him, and it's what she did to him that ultimately made me despise her. (Mind you, I adored Kes from the get go, and it's -very- hard for me to like female characters at all, and not even like as much as I adored Kes in the beginning)
The changes they made to her (hair, outfit) started it, but what she did to Neelix topped it off.
I guess it hits deep with me, because my then boyfriend, now ex, did that to me a lot and treated me like that...
Neelix cared for and loved Kes the same way I loved my ex..and look how he got treated?
So yeah. That's not the only reason I like him..
I adore him, for the amazing character that he is.[/QUOTE
I agree with you about Neelix (see above) and I don't mean to diminish a painful personal experience you had to endure, but I really can't see the validity in an argument the makes the case that Kes was in any way cruel, unfeeling, or dismissive of Neelix.
She put up with his jealousy period in Season 1, which although she may not have known the exact cause, there was probably a sense she had that it was formed by aspects of his past that she didn't directly know about. She was supportive of his endeavors that helped to enhance his role on Voyager. Oh, and she did contribute a rather important body part which precluded his being kept alive by the Doctor's wizardry, but facing however much longer he would stay so, being totally immobile.
I think Kes truly had strong romantic feelings for Neelix. But while she was endowed with a great innate wisdom, she was emotionally naïve when their relationship was formed. I don't see anything malicious or cruel in her coming to realize over time that her needs and desires had changed and acting on that truth, even if that happened to be crystallized by contact with an evil alien dictator.
At its base, however, as has been commonly remarked upon, the problem(s) with the relationship as perceived by many people, is that the show runners didn't seem to have any clarity of vision about what it was fundamentally about and certainly seemingly some kind of formulation as to how it might evolve.