anyone knowing the hero's identity led to tragedy (Gwen Stacy, Iris West Allen, et al.).
Er, no. Gwen died in the comics most likely BECAUSE Peter kept it a secret.
Being a superhero is not a high school club for giggles; it is the most dangerous of "professions" and being superheroes, their adversaries are usually of a level far beyond civilians' feeble ability to "protect" themselves against an attack of that kind.
Keeping it a secret and still hanging out with them as a Superhero shows utter irresponsibility on the heroes' behalf.
The idea that a hero's friends and in some cases, one barely known individual after another has any right to this information (they do not)
If they have no right to know the person, then that person has no right to involve these people in their life to begin with.
Superman put the Daily Planet folks in danger by associating with them as Superman, he has no right to get worried about how them knowing who he was would affect him.
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