How did I forget to post this at Christmas? Ah, well, enjoy...
Hobbes stood with his hands on his hips, scratching his head. A snowman with an old bath towel draped around his waist stood perched on top of the bathroom scale.
"Why is your snowman weighing himself?" he asked Calvin.
The small boy proudly waved a mittened hand palm-up at his latest creation. A waxed paper lunch bag lay at his feet. "He's decided to get serious about his health. Last week he visited his doctor for the first time in years. Today he's going back for a follow-up to discuss his snowlesterol levels and making some lifestyle changes."
"Ah, I see," Hobbes replied, paw on his chin. "What's the prognosis?"
"Grim," the boy replied, mouth set in a straight line, eyes downcast. "Unfortunately, he's not even going to make it out the door." Calvin opened up the bag and withdrew a rubber band, putting it on the snowman's stick arm. "Thanks to a lifetime of poor eating choices and the stress of a high-paying, low satisfaction desk job, his arteries have become dangerously clogged." Hobbes observed the snowman with concern. "After a vigorous jog around the block, the brand new watch he purchased two days ago registers a meteoric spike in blood pressure." Calvin clenched his mitted fists and leapt, opening his hands and thrusting them in the air. "Ka-BOOM! His heart explodes!" He and Hobbes shared a solemn moment of silence, hats off and hands over their hearts.
A crinkle of paper caused Hobbes to open one eye. Calvin was removing something from his bag and sticking it on the snowman's chest…
_____________________________________________________________________
Calvin's mom looked around the living room. Everything was ready for Christmas. The stockings were hung, the tree was decorated and lit, the smell of fresh ginger cookies filled the air…everything was perfect.
Everything except….
She stalked across the floor and picked up a plastic foil-covered pot from the coffee table. Looked down. Erghhhh…..
"Who picked all the red leaves off the poinsettia?!"
Hobbes stood with his hands on his hips, scratching his head. A snowman with an old bath towel draped around his waist stood perched on top of the bathroom scale.
"Why is your snowman weighing himself?" he asked Calvin.
The small boy proudly waved a mittened hand palm-up at his latest creation. A waxed paper lunch bag lay at his feet. "He's decided to get serious about his health. Last week he visited his doctor for the first time in years. Today he's going back for a follow-up to discuss his snowlesterol levels and making some lifestyle changes."
"Ah, I see," Hobbes replied, paw on his chin. "What's the prognosis?"
"Grim," the boy replied, mouth set in a straight line, eyes downcast. "Unfortunately, he's not even going to make it out the door." Calvin opened up the bag and withdrew a rubber band, putting it on the snowman's stick arm. "Thanks to a lifetime of poor eating choices and the stress of a high-paying, low satisfaction desk job, his arteries have become dangerously clogged." Hobbes observed the snowman with concern. "After a vigorous jog around the block, the brand new watch he purchased two days ago registers a meteoric spike in blood pressure." Calvin clenched his mitted fists and leapt, opening his hands and thrusting them in the air. "Ka-BOOM! His heart explodes!" He and Hobbes shared a solemn moment of silence, hats off and hands over their hearts.
A crinkle of paper caused Hobbes to open one eye. Calvin was removing something from his bag and sticking it on the snowman's chest…
_____________________________________________________________________
Calvin's mom looked around the living room. Everything was ready for Christmas. The stockings were hung, the tree was decorated and lit, the smell of fresh ginger cookies filled the air…everything was perfect.
Everything except….
She stalked across the floor and picked up a plastic foil-covered pot from the coffee table. Looked down. Erghhhh…..
"Who picked all the red leaves off the poinsettia?!"
