And now there'll be no more Picards...

[Marc]

And I speak as the child of a disabled father. I did harbour a resentment that I had to be his caregiver (I was until he passed away BTW). I'm fairly certain that was the reason I have never married or had kids, I was 'otherwise' occupied and couldn't date, or anything that would lead to a relationship.

but you could have had a father who wasn't disabled at the time you were born and still wound up being a carer for him later in life and that happens to many people.

And similar things can happen even when the parent(s) aren't disable. They could be alcholics, drug users, problem gamblers or plans simple lazy bastards.

People with disabilities want to have kids for the same reason other people do - the maternal instinct but I wouldn't say they are driven to have kids.

Of the people I know with disabilities (including my wife) I can't say any of them were dead keen to have kids though one (she has spina bifida) recently had a baby girl but that wasn't planned. However she doesn't want some-one to raise the baby she wants to do that herself with the help of her boyfriend.

As to the actual subject, the family name for my paternal grandfather and father will come to end and with my generation.

There were 4 kids in my family (two of each), my sisters married and took their now ex-husbands names. My wife and I don't want kids (I don''t really have the patience for it) and my brother I'm not sure.

My grandfather was the youngest of five. He and his brother had daughters (my mum had two brothers by they died in infancy) who took their husbands name, the sisters had sons.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Seriously, I have a pipe-dream to have a chair named after me at my old university, or if that proves too expensive, at least a significant grant of some sort. If adequately endowed, it could last centuries or even indefinitely. That's a fairly reassuring mark on posterity. Obviously, others might consider that sort of legacy utterly trivial, but to me it feels enough. And certainly a more reliable projection into the future than children.

Not trivial at all. I think it sounds really cool, Holdfast.

Also, I'm going to build a pyramid.

Go for it, RJ!

 

[Holdfast]

I like the pyramid idea. A hugely elaborate giant mausoleum could be just the ticket...

Yeah. Among other things, you get to put curses on people.

You have the best ideas...

I think I speak for at least a few people in this thread (and myself of course) when I say that the feelings we're discussing don't stem from a sense of obligation (which has a negative connotation) but a sense of wanting a sense of fulfilment regarding our place in the world (something akin to Eriksonian Ego Integrity, or Jungian Individuation). This is a positive desire, I feel, and actually much more selfish (in an ego-driven sense, not a negative sense) in origin.

Pretty much spot on. The "pressure" is all self-imposed, its not an obligation, its a desire.

Seriously, I have a pipe-dream to have a chair named after me at my old university, or if that proves too expensive, at least a significant grant of some sort. If adequately endowed, it could last centuries or even indefinitely. That's a fairly reassuring mark on posterity. Obviously, others might consider that sort of legacy utterly trivial, but to me it feels enough. And certainly a more reliable projection into the future than children.

Not trivial at all. I think it sounds really cool, Holdfast.

I think so, but it's not the kind of thing that would appeal to many people, especially if they have kids. I would think parents would prefer to ensure their childrens' futures directly rather than channel resources into something more abstract like this. For me though, it has greater appeal, at least for now.

 

[Captain Shaw]

I think the youngest of my two brothers will end up getting a girl knocked up, but I don't want kids I don't have the money or the patience to bring one up ,and I not interested in a relationship.

 

[Australis]

I never wanted kids, but in the main they worked out, and parenthood is an intensely bittersweet experience.

The really tricky question is, would I do it all over again? I honestly don't know. Maybe with a different partner. But they'd be different kids. It's a seriously tough question.

 

[Goji]

My sister has down syndrome and could in no way take care of a child (she has on several occasions come close to killing her pet cat). I simply have no interest in children and don't see myself being in a position to have them even if I did. So, yeah, pretty sure there won't be another generation coming out of my family. And I'm cool with that. My parents may be in for a bit of a shock, though.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Also, I'm going to build a pyramid.

Go for it, RJ!

I'm going to start gathering up slave labor right after the holiday weekend.

I like the pyramid idea. A hugely elaborate giant mausoleum could be just the ticket...

Yeah. Among other things, you get to put curses on people.

You have the best ideas...

The really tricky question is, would I do it all over again? I honestly don't know. Maybe with a different partner. But they'd be different kids. It's a seriously tough question.

And therefore a great theme for a story.

 

[spooky spice]

at 50 I don't see my self doing it, (though I would like to), women just don't want me in that way, no matter how well I treat them.

OMG I have the same problem, but with men.

And I speak as the child of a disabled father.

but you could have had a father who wasn't disabled at the time you were born and still wound up being a carer for him later in life and that happens to many people.

Yes, and your point is what? I'm not talking about "what might have been", I'm talking about what actually was. By your standards, I could have had a healthy father, and led a completely different life.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

I think so, but it's not the kind of thing that would appeal to many people, especially if they have kids. I would think parents would prefer to ensure their childrens' futures directly rather than channel resources into something more abstract like this.

Unless they're so wealthy that they can do both. I don't have kids, but unfortunately I also don't have the resources to endow a chair.

Also, I'm going to build a pyramid.

Go for it, RJ!

I'm going to start gathering up slave labor right after the holiday weekend.

Finally, a benefit to my slow recovery! Too weak to be of use to you.

 

[RJDiogenes]

Oh, I'll find something for you to do. Bwahaha.