An Unexpected Encounter (May '09 Challenge)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by USS Fardell, May 27, 2009.

  1. USS Fardell

    USS Fardell Captain Captain

    Jul 26, 2001
    Star Trek: An Unexpected Encounter (A May '09 Trekbbs Challenge Fanfiction)
    11 December 2258
    USS Enterprise NCC 1701 On the edge of Federation space
    Captain James T. Kirk, youngest captain in Starfleet’s history, entered the sickbay. “Welcome Captain; Doctor McCoy will be here shortly. He had to attend to a crewperson who had sprained an elbow in the ship’s gym,” a young nurse said.

    Kirk was there for his overdue physical. McCoy had been annoying him about it for a month. “All crewmembers need to have their physicals, including the captain,” he said.

    “What is your name?” he asked the nurse. He had met most of his crew but there were still many whom he was not familiar with.
    “Chapel. Christine Chapel,” she said.
    “A pretty name,” he said, winking at her.
    “She isn’t interested Jim.” He turned. Somehow McCoy had entered the sickbay without his noticing.
    “How do you know that?” Kirk asked.
    “I have heard that she joined Starfleet to look for her lost fiancé,” Bones said.

    “Really?” Jim asked. ‘She looks lonely,’ he thought.
    “That is what I heard. Anyway I am a Doctor, not a matchmaker. Besides it is time for your physical,” Bones said. Kirk noticed that Chapel had gone whilst he and McCoy were talking.
    “Let’s get it over with,” Kirk said.

    Chapel sat down in McCoy’s office. She did not show it but she was upset. She did not expect the Captain of the ship to be hitting on her. ‘I am faithful Roger, and I will find you,’ she thought.
  2. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

    Aug 4, 2008
    Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
    Nice to see that not everybody approves of being on the receiving end of Kirk's attention. This was always something I didn't like about TOS...
  3. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Dec 5, 2007
    Between the candle and the flame
    Interesting but short.
  4. trampledamage

    trampledamage Clone Moderator

    Sep 11, 2005
    hitching a ride to Erebor
    I think you need to be a bit clearer that Chapel leaves between Kirk winking at her and McCoy speaking - otherwise McCoy comes across as incredibly insensitive.

    Good scene though.
  5. CeJay

    CeJay Commodore Commodore

    Feb 5, 2006
    I agree. This was perhaps a little bit too short and McCoy would come across as a complete jerk if he's saying those things within Chapel's earshot.

    Otherwise I liked the character interactions here.