Almost challenge entry: for the Usual Fee

[Starkers]

Well I said I'd post my entry once the voting started so here it is, all 8300 or so words of it

For the Usual Fee

I'll also post a link to the song I took inspiration from, Private Investigations by Dire Straits.

Song

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

Very interesting twist at the end there...I find myself wondering what a certain someone is wanted for, and how he got into the situation he's in...

 

[SLWalker]

Wow, that was absurdly entertaining! The X-Men homage amused me, but the story itself was just a whole lot of fun; little hints dropped in the beginning that stick in the mind to come up again at the end. And Charlie was just awesome. Some minor grammar issues here or there, but still just a fun, fun story -- great stuff!

 

[Starkers]

Very interesting twist at the end there...I find myself wondering what a certain someone is wanted for, and how he got into the situation he's in...

Thanks

I'm wondering too...that aspect of the character kinda came out within the confines of the story. It wasn't planned!

 

[Starkers]

Wow, that was absurdly entertaining! The X-Men homage amused me, but the story itself was just a whole lot of fun; little hints dropped in the beginning that stick in the mind to come up again at the end. And Charlie was just awesome. Some minor grammar issues here or there, but still just a fun, fun story -- great stuff!

Absurdly entertaining? That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever saiod about one of my stories.

Confession time though--he Xavier Charles bit wasn't an intentional X-Men homage, I was just playing around with Charlie Cross' name and came up with it! (Maybe a subconcious thang)

Damn by grammar, no matter how much I proof stuff gets through. I'm just not accurate enough sometimes! Feel free to point out specifics...it's the only way I'll learn

Just for interest's sake I based Charlie on the actor Bill Nighy.

 

[Mistral]

Cool story-I want to read more about Charlie...
Typo when he tells Maddy his fee back in the beginning-you spelled latinum wrong.

(You said to let you know..) I'd have voted for this if you entered it....

 

[Starkers]

ha ha latimum how'd I miss that! Damn made up words

Thanks for your comments Mistral. I never intended it but I quite enjoyed writing Charlie, so I think he may well make a return...

Couldn't enter it, its way WAY too long, but thanks anyway

 

[CeJay]

It may have worked as a challenge entry but you would have had to sacrifice a lot of detail and I think that's what made this story great.

Charlie is definitely a fascinating character. He's got a bit of a Columbo vibe going, in that he is very unassuming on first impression and seemingly rather harmless. Of course he takes this to a whole new level.

The ending was nothing but a shameless sequel plug. I loved it.

 

[Starkers]

ha ha thanks CeJay. I did start to trim it down but realised within a copule of hundred words that it was just never gonna happen.

Columbo eh? Have to admit I was going for more of a absent minded Dr Who type but Columbo works just fine as well.

I am toying with shamlessly stealing CaptCalhoun's modus operandi and trying to get Charlie into all the challenge entries...I really don't have time for another full on series.

 

[mirandafave]

Columbo eh? Have to admit I was going for more of a absent minded Dr Who type but Columbo works just fine as well.

I am toying with shamlessly stealing CaptCalhoun's modus operandi and trying to get Charlie into all the challenge entries...I really don't have time for another full on series.

Oh do that! Charlie would be wicked fun to see again. Well done.

 

[trampledamage]

Wonderful story - I do like characters who are definitely not what they seem, so I love Charlie Cross, especially with your ending hint.

 

[Starkers]

ok ok, Charlie Cross will definitely return...

 

[Maxillius]

I want to see this continue from where you left off, with Starfleet tracking down their "rogue captain".

Love it!