• Welcome! The TrekBBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans.
    If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Aging - Health and Wisdom

I'm pretty sure I'm the youngest person who actively frequents this site (though I could be wrong-- but I've noticed most of you are dinosaurs compared to me!) so anything I could possibly say here everyone here already knows, so I guess I'm going to say stuff here more as a reflection for me to think than anything else. So here's some stuff I've learned about Existing As A Human Being after having fifteen years of experience doing so.

1. It's hard. And from what I've observed it only continues to get more hard. Obviously it isn't impossible, I see hundreds of people doing it every day, but being a teenager is a lot harder than being a kid and I can only assume being an adult is harder than being a teenager. After all, I don't need to worry about things like bills and taxes and paperwork and work.
2. You need to work way harder than I expected you would. This kind of ties into point number 1, but so much responsibility is suddenly being dropped on me like a grand piano and I can only anticipate more proverbial grand pianos coming to plummet on me with age.
3. Growing up fucking sucks. Should be self-explanatory.
4. The world fucking sucks. Also self-explanatory. Doesn't mean everything in it is bad, of course, but, like... when you turn on the news there's about an 80% chance you're gonna see something horrible and I'm sick of it. Don't good things ever happen anymore? :(
5. People are hard. I guess when you're a kid and your brain is smaller and smoother you don't really have to try at interpersonal relationships but God help me I have been thrusted into the cruel social environment of high school and I have next to no social skills whatsoever. Everything I say is the wrong thing (but then again, looking back at my younger years I was basically like that one scene in the TNG episode The Offspring where Lal asks why kids are laughing at her, and when told what laughing is she goes 'without understanding humour, I have somehow mastered it!'. That was what I was like for the first, like, 12 years of my life. Lol)
6. You lose people way more than you'd think. Whether it's because they died or they hate you now or you just lost touch or whatever. You lose a lot of people and relationships. I guess nothing lasts forever but like, everything sucks.

Sorry this mostly came off as complain-y or overly dramatic or whatever but like I haven't actually been thinking about this type of stuff and it's like, wow, when you're a little kid you just want to be grown up, but then once you actually start the process of growing up it's like, put me back! I'm not ready!
 
1. It's hard. And from what I've observed it only continues to get more hard. Obviously it isn't impossible, I see hundreds of people doing it every day, but being a teenager is a lot harder than being a kid and I can only assume being an adult is harder than being a teenager. After all, I don't need to worry about things like bills and taxes and paperwork and work.
2. You need to work way harder than I expected you would. This kind of ties into point number 1, but so much responsibility is suddenly being dropped on me like a grand piano and I can only anticipate more proverbial grand pianos coming to plummet on me with age.

4. The world fucking sucks. Also self-explanatory. Doesn't mean everything in it is bad, of course, but, like... when you turn on the news there's about an 80% chance you're gonna see something horrible and I'm sick of it. Don't good things ever happen anymore? :(
5. People are hard. I guess when you're a kid and your brain is smaller and smoother you don't really have to try at interpersonal relationships but God help me I have been thrusted into the cruel social environment of high school and I have next to no social skills whatsoever.
6. You lose people way more than you'd think. Whether it's because they died or they hate you now or you just lost touch or whatever. You lose a lot of people and relationships. I guess nothing lasts forever but like, everything sucks.
Yes, things get harder once you are past your teens. You find that as you sortie out into the world as an independent adult, it gets harder. Lots of drudgery in being an adult, such as the examples you gave, bills, taxes, etc. It stays hard, for decade after decade.

You lose your grand parents when you are young. As an aging adult, you eventually lose your elderly parents, your elderly aunts and uncles.

Friendships often fade, over time.


For as long as I remember, the news has almost always been negative.


BTW, I was one of the kids who was bullied at school. I viewed high school graduation as liberation, because I could finally get away from those people.
 
When I was 30 and I told people I was 30, a lot of people said: man, I wish I was 30 again. You know what, you can have my shitty age. I hope you enjoy your first grey hair, early back and knee pain and the nostalgia to an even YOUNGER age because adulthood sucks
 
I'm at an age (72) where I can say the number with pride. Before my 70s I was just old, but now I'm proud I made it this far. I mean, I take enough pills that I rattle when I walk, and I am diabetic but I'm not overweight and I feel pretty good most of the time. I had 2 cancers removed and I'm still here.
I just want to add, take care of your body, because where else you gonna live?
 
Its not the years, its the mileage.

Had high A1C, cholesterol, high BP, bad sleep apnea, knee pain going up and down stairs, pulled my back out regularly. No fast food or sodas, never drank much, docs said i was "average".

"Just aging" I thought...and then the migraines got worse. Went from 1 to 5 a week. Nothing we can do says the docs. Screw that. Lets roll back the odometer....got nothing to lose.

Shifted mindset to stoic philosophy, read the research papers (not internet articles). added up exactly how much sugar and salt i ate...(wow was i wrong). went through sugar and salt withdrawal. Went to ideal body fat % 5 years ago (took 4 inches off my waist),....and am never. going. back. Ate right (smaller amounts, high quality), exercising an hour a day (weights, isometrics and walking). researched impact of migraines and enzyme issues. Swapped in some proven (studies with a p 0.05) supplements only for the things I was missing.

Rolled back the odometer with a hell of a hard year....was worth it. Migraines are rare, all my stats are in the "good" category.

I now feel more comfortable in my meat space-suit than when I was 20 and "healthy".

Wisdom > youth.
 
Yeah.. less abusing the meat suit = longer lasting meat suit.

Your body is keeping a tab on everything you do and eventually it's time to pay up..
 
Guess this could sorta go here;

This caught my eye! It is an interesting excerpt from The Good People at Northwestern Medicine!!!

NANOPARTICLES!!! :biggrin::adore:

“…we are now developing a novel approach using nanoparticles to deliver a small fraction of antirejection medication directly to the organ as we prepare it for transplantation.“
 
Regarding the slings and arrows of life, experience has taught me this-develop a mind set of resilience.

You have coped with problems in the past, so be confident that you can cope in the future. Life is likely to turn out okay.
 
One of the residents in my apartment building has opted for MAID (Medical Assistance in Dying). She's over 90, had a stroke, and decided that she'd rather not spend her remaining time in a nursing home/palliative care.

I found that out yesterday from the manager as a "oh, by the way..." part of a conversation (he knew we were casual friends, and she was one of the long-time tenants here).

So sometime today, she's scheduled to have a peaceful death on her own terms. A lot of people here will miss her.
 
Sad, but if I were in her position I would choose MAID too. Why prolong the misery, if there is no quality left in your existence?

Exactly. And there was nothing wrong with her mind at all. Earlier this year some people threw her a birthday party, and I was one of the people invited. It was a fun party, I met some other tenants here (we don't usually meet unless it's a casual thing in the lobby, laundry room, or fire alarm), and I had my first encounter with pistachio ice cream. One of the tenants is a music teacher, so he sang to her, and she loved that he'd picked one of her favorite songs.
 
Well, I just turned 67, which means in Oz I am officially an OAP. Now get off my lawn!

So, let's see. About 30 years ago, while I continued to do a lot of manual labour, my spine was getting very rickety and I swapped to IT, which was tough in different ways - not much money to start, an unsupportive wife who, it seems, only cared about money and her kids having a dad, long commutes, and an industry not as lucrative as you might think. Thinking back, I missed a lot of my kids growing up. I did try to spend weekends with them, and would come hope after 12 hours and prepare food when 'Er Indoors was having the vapours. That might sound like a childish complaint, but she'd insist I'd do the washing up whether I cooked or not, and the thing was, on the days when she was there by herself, when she ate or drank she'd grab a clean plate or cup every single time rather than rinsing and renewing what she'd used. Tempted to go on a mad rave here, but I'll just say she is a narcissist and her own kids can't stand her around them; she has many fine qualities, but her actions at times border on horrific. But that's the past!

Around this time both my parents passed, Mum from leukaemia, Dad from a heart condition. To say I miss them is an understatement. I wish I had talked with them more, got to know them better, got out of my bubble more. She used to say on a regular basis, "I wish your parents were dead!"

About 12 years ago, I slipped and broke my leg for a second time. It wasn't great, and no fun in her tender care.

About 10 years ago my prostate cancer developed to a level where it needed to be treated. After a month of a new radiation treatment, I was cancer free. But it has left my junk and bladder not functioning all that well (but better than the surgical alternative) and for a year I just slept. Even now, waves of tiredness flatten me, Maybe I'm getting over t now. Maybe. I read the following at the time. Then, I thought it was great, now it seems a bit whiny, and this is just an excerpt:
With the side effects of chemo and radiation, you will never be 100% again because your immune system is weak. Ruins marriages, families and relationships with friends. Because you're not the same again after cancer and treatments.

Unfortunately, like with most friendships, Facebook friends will leave you in the middle of a story. They want a post to “like” for the story, but they don't really read your message when they see it is long.

Cancer is a very aggressive and destructive enemy of our bodies.
Even after treatment, the body is devastated. It's a very long process.

It was a slow climb to recovery.

M y kids and I seemed to be good, but when they moved out and eventually married, I became surplus to requirements, it seems. They couldn't understand why I stayed with "Her". For the longest time I thought I could save her, until I realised/learned, there is no saving a narcissist, and I pulled the pin and ran away. Moved around the Sunshine Coast for a while, stayed with son and fam for a while, and a bunch of sharehouse randoms who all things considered were weird. There was a falling out with my son and wife, over... stuff from a long time ago, but for reasons it raised its ugly head here and now. Long story, don't want to talk about it. Anyway, couldn't stay with them.

Now. Well, this year. I had to move house, but I was really struggling. mentally I was locked in a bubble, I see it now. Physically, I started getting a massive, excruciating pain in my shoulder, mostly because of the rickety spine, that was so bad I overdosed on paracetamol because I wasn't thinking clearly at all. Trips to the hospital, xrays etc. My son on the Sunshine Coast said to the other "Dad's cooked." So I was shipped back to NSW on one of the most uncomfortable jet flights I've ever been on, and crashed in other son's caravan while he rang around figuring out what to do with me. Eventually, after 2 months, he got me into, let make no bones about it, an old people's home, on the grounds of diminished mental responsibility. Am I a bit non compos mentis? How would I know?!

Anyway, here I am for my sins. Both my kids think I'm at worst an idiot, at best a bit mentally challenged. Never had many friends, and everyone here is a generation older than me. Gave my SCoast son my super/401K as a house deposit, and I'd say the payback is going to take a while, so I'm broke. It seems the only thing I have left is my ability to write... and even then, it's not very successful because I have zero idea how to promote it properly.

Generally, I've stuffed up.

It's been a lot of ups and downs. Among the ups are my grandkids, six of them! They are my joy, and make life worthwhile, and I don't see them anywhere near enough. Matter of fact the reason I moved near SCoast fam was they suddenly had twins while DiL was studying psychology at uni, and I came to help. An utter joy, even at 3AM. Now they're in school. Where does the time go?

Wisdom. Some of you are younger here. Sooooo...
Do stuff early. Study now. Work out what you want to do now. I decided to leave all that until later because I was going to be a Big Time Writer. Foolish. If you have a passion, find a way to make it pay, or be prepared to live in poverty and part time work. I'm probably the last person to ask. As they saying goes, if you can't be a good example, you can serve as a horrible warning.
Few people will help you. Don't rely on them, they have their own life to get to.
When it comes to love, choose carefully. Better to be alone than with the Wrong One.

The best thing I can say is... focus. Bring focus to your life; your education, your work, your love life. Don't stand around daydreaming like I did.
And talk to your parents and grandparents - you don't know what you've got 'til its gone.

Sorry this went on so long. Had a lot to get off my chest.
 
One of the best things in life is friendship.

It is also something that is earned. There are no short cuts. To have good friends, you must be a good friend.

For example..... To help a friend you once went camping/hiking with, you get up early to drive her to the hospital for scheduled surgery. And later pick her up there.

That is the sort of dynamic one may experience with a friendship that lasts decades.
 
If you are not already a member then please register an account and join in the discussion!

Sign up / Register


Back
Top