A Flaky Boss & Baseball

[Tiberius Jim]

I've got myself another interesting dilemma on my hands...

To preface, I work for a well known printing & shipping company in the sales dept. My key duties are to support our existing accounts as well as go after new business. I'm the only person in my position for the 5 stores in my area.

If you know me at all, you'll know that I am a huge San Francisco Giants fan. Have been since I even knew what the sport was and could understand what was going on. So when there was a casting call fro extras to be in the 2012 season commercials, I jumped at the chance. I sent in a great story about my proposal to my fiancée on the field last year and a few other anecdotes to show that we're huge fans.

Well, I just got an email on Monday inviting us to come participate! I was psyched, told all my friends, posted it on Facebook. The only problem is that the shooting takes place this week, Feb. 1st to the 3rd. The email requested that we RSVP for either Thursday or Friday. My fiancée had Thursday off, so we chose that day.

I immediately shot my supervisor an email including the message I had received from the Giants. I noted that while I knew it was short notice that this was a big deal and that I'd be very much obliged if she could grant me the day off. I didn't foresee an issue: my supervisor has stated in the past that she's a Giants fan as well and knows very well how big of a fan I am myself.

The next day, I received an email back from my supervisor. This is where the weirdness begins..in the email she states, "James, I know this is big but you've been taking a lot of time off aside from training (I recently traveled to Dallas for training and took one day off after I returned due to a late flight) I also know that you will be needing time off for your wedding. How many hours of vacation do you have? Call me in about 30."

I was quite perplexed. I really haven't taken *that* much time off lately. I did come in late on Monday due to my fiancée being very ill and me needing to take care of her, and had come in for a half day one day when I myself was sick. That's it.

So I called her, and to make a long conversation short...she was basically questioning my commitment to my job, told me what I already know in that my job is not something anyone else in the store can do. Apparently only coming in for a half day a few times when ill or dealing with a family emergency shows a lack of commitment to her, as opposed to taking the entire day off. At the end of the conversation, she told me she didn't want to have the discussion over the phone and asked me to meet her at another center about half an hour away.

To recap...she says I'm out of my office too much in her opinion, so in order to talk about it, she wants me to leave the store instead of simply talk over the phone.

So the time comes for our little meeting and I leave for this other store. For anyone in the SF Bay Area, my store is in Concord and the meeting place is in Emeryville. Not exactly right around the block. I arrive at the store and find that my supervisor is not there yet. I see that one of our Account Execs is there doing some office work so I hang out with him while I wait...

...wait for almost an hour. I was about to give her a call when a call from her came in to the store. Basically...she's not going to make it. She got "wrapped up in something else" and couldn't get away. To a meeting that she set up. And had me drive half an hour to get to, taking time out of my schedule. So that she could talk to me about *my* lack of commitment. She then tells me to go ahead and go back to my store, even though by the time I would get back it'd be time for me the clock out and go home, and had now wasted over 2 hours.

I ended up talking to the account exec a bit more, and told him about this situation. He had some insight, as he works closer to my supervisor on a daily basis. He basically believes there is something going on with her personally that is causing her behavior. I will note that this is now the second time in a week that she has set an appointment with me and then failed to make it.

So here I am now, still with no answer as to whether I have Thursday off, and she is now trying to reschedule our appointment to talk. At least this time she is coming to me.

My dilemma is...do I go over her head to *her* boss about this? The botched meeting in Emeryville alone makes me want to let him know about this, but her potentially keeping me from going to this commercial shoot is almost worse to me. Everyone else I've spoken to has seen the importance of something like this, and while I know it is short notice and all...I don't see how she can call me on being uncommitted and then act the way she does. She just texted me about coming out to me this time to talk. I told her I have standing appointments but she's basically including herself in them in order to still get face time. I hope she'll give me a straight answer today. But if the answer is no...I would still be tempted to go over her head.

Anyway, sorry this is a total tl,dr but yesterday was pretty eventful. Thanks in advance for any sage advice.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

I would go talk to her boss if you think she's treating you unfairly.

And congrats on being invited to the commercials!

 

[Roger Wilco]

I would say "hell no" to going over her head for this. It sounds like she'll let you go anyway, but she wants to make you beg for it or something. But if you bypass her, she'll resent you for the rest of your time in this job.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

And what if she does say no? And what about her having me drive an hour round trip for nothing? I mean, she made me waste over 2 hours of my day. Seems like that deserves to be reported somehow.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

If a boss is treating an employee badly, that employee has the right to seek redress from those above that boss. Go over her head if you have to. You have the right to do so. You don't have to take her shit.

 

[B.J.]

If you have any vacation time available, I don't see what her problem is. I'm assuming it's there to use when you want, not "use as little as possible". Aside from any flakiness on her part, it may just be her perception of your work hours. If the only time she hears from you is when you need time off or have to come in late, it may *seem* to her that you're taking a lot of time off, as opposed to if you happen to see her every day. I'd certainly try to straighten things out with her first, but go over her head if you have to.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

I actually correspond with her on a regular basis. We just had a team meeting last Monday as well as weekly conference calls. We would have met up last Thursday had she not flaked on me the first time.

And yes, I have plenty of vacation time to use. I'm not sure why its her concern when and how I use it.

 

[TheBrew]

And yes, I have plenty of vacation time to use. I'm not sure why its her concern when and how I use it.

Then she has no right to question you. Vacation time is there for a reason. Unless for some reason it causes you to miss an important deadline or something else that has to get done on Thursday, but that can be planned for anyways.

Make sure you document all of this just in case. I hope that it doesn't get ugly, but it is best to be prepared.

During the meeting, try promising to finish a project a week or two ahead of time; make sure it is something that you are about to complete early anyways.

 

[Tiberius Jim]

I think the thing that irritates me the most is that she is questioning my commitment to the job because of my sick time. I will admit that I've been sick more than usual (I've had a high level of stress recently due to a variety of events) and after looking at my timesheet, I've averaged about 2 days a month that I've called out. However...I have still come in for at least a half-day for each of those days I've called out sick. The last time I took a full sick day in which I did not come in at all was in August. All of the other times, I have made the effort to come in because I *do* realize that my job is unique and can't be easily passed on to anyone else. You woudl think that would show that I *am* committed to my job.

At least I don't set appointments with people, make them drive an hour round trip and then make them go home an hour later empty handed...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Well, I don't know the people involved, but from her initial email it sounded to me like she was just aiming at getting you to use your vacation time rather than just getting a "free" day off. What's the problem with that?

 

[Gryffindorian]

Based on how I'm feeling about my own boss right now, I would normally think your boss was being unfair, but then again, maybe not. I'm getting the vibe that she's quite easygoing, but to constantly take personal time off (for non-medical reasons) would seem like you're taking advantage of her. Perhaps you have been taking a lot of personal time off lately, at least from her perspective; otherwise, she wouldn't say anything besides "Hell yeah! Go for it."

Good bosses most of the time have good reasons to approve or disapprove requested time off. If this is such a big deal to you, then you could call in sick that day, but I wouldn't recommend it.

 

[ed629]

Meet with her in a closed office, then pull your pants about 1/2 way down and start yelling "What the fuck!?!?! Get the fuck off me!! Goddamit what the fuck is wrong with you??!!??!"

Then grab her hand and pull it towards your pants, and back out of the door, fall backwards with her so it looks to everyone else like she tried to take your pants off. That way you not only get you day off, she'll be your bitch for the rest of the time she works there in order not to get fired or hit with a sexual harassment suit.

 

[bbailey861]

Your vacation time is YOUR vacation time. There should be no need beyond requesting the time off for anything else to happen other than approving or refusing the request - especially if there are no pressing business matters that need to be taken care of that day. If you have the time and it is denied, I would be looking long at hard at the reasons given and then deciding at that point if I would grieve the decision higher.

I agree with Mr. Laser Beam. You have the right, if you believe you are being treated unfairly, to seek redress.

Beyond that, for crying out loud - if I was asked by the Jays to come to Toronto to be in their commercials, I know I would have a line up of people to drive me there.

I hope it goes well for you.

Go Jays!!

 

[sojourner]

I think the thing that irritates me the most is that she is questioning my commitment to the job because of my sick time. I will admit that I've been sick more than usual (I've had a high level of stress recently due to a variety of events) and after looking at my timesheet, I've averaged about 2 days a month that I've called out. However...I have still come in for at least a half-day for each of those days I've called out sick. The last time I took a full sick day in which I did not come in at all was in August. All of the other times, I have made the effort to come in because I *do* realize that my job is unique and can't be easily passed on to anyone else. You woudl think that would show that I *am* committed to my job.

Take this information with you and present it to her, then ask her what her definition of commitment to the job is.

 

[B.J.]

I think part of the problem might be, again, perception. Yes, you do have vacation time available, and you're obviously not taking more time than you have banked. But the fact that you're taking one day here & there instead of, say, a full week off all at once may make her *think* that you're taking off a lot. Even though a week off and five days scattered about equal the same amout of time, she may be seeing it as taking 5 vacations vs 1 vacation.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

And what if she does say no? And what about her having me drive an hour round trip for nothing? I mean, she made me waste over 2 hours of my day. Seems like that deserves to be reported somehow.

For starters, I would make sure if I were in your position to get your mileage reimbursed. I'm assuming from your description of your position that you already get your travel mileage reimbursed, but I would sure as hell make sure you get that taken care of. Also, if you are hourly, you need to make sure you get all of your travel time and all the time you waited for this meeting paid for as well.

As for the vacation time...are you in a position where others would have to cover for you if you took time off, or do you have control enough over your schedule to do as you like with your appointments? How time-sensitive are your job duties? If it's very time-sensitive or others have to cover for you when you're out, your boss may be pissed that you dropped vacation on her short notice. Usually you should give at least a few week's notice before you submit a vacation.

The purpose of the vacation, in my opinion, should not matter--but then again, it is also not something you should have to volunteer if you have enough time. I take vacation for a local sci-fi convention every year and no one asks me what it's for and I only volunteer it when I feel like it. But I also schedule it a few months in advance every year.

I know this will sound bad...but I think you made two mistakes: doing this short notice, and telling her what it was for. What it's for is your business and you don't want to put your reasons out for judgment.

As for the sick time--I would make sure you have all your documentation in order, because if you take it to HR, you need to have all of that in line.

Oh...and whatever happens, don't do a fake "call in sick." You will only piss your boss off worse than whatever it is that's bothering her already (be it in her life or something genuine).

I wish I could tell you in more detail what to do. But those are just my thoughts on the matter.

 

[Gryffindorian]

^ Good points, Nerys.

Although I don't like my boss very much right now, I can say that he's been pretty fair and accommodating when I take personal time off. We have guidelines in my department that require employees to submit their planned vacation ahead of time, which I always do. Then again, due to some unforeseen circumstances, I've often had to give my boss a very short notice and leave early for the day, and he always approves my request (in addition to modifying my days off and vacation plans).

Where I work, management tends to frown more upon "unscheduled" absences, to be more specific, people who are suspected of playing hooky. I have co-workers who have real health issues and are out a lot, and there are those who "get sick" on Mondays and Fridays and feel fine most days of the week. Granted, people really do get ill on Mondays and/or Fridays, but one can't help notice a certain pattern of absences.

 

[Finn]

I have to admit I wouldn't have mentioned the baseball thing.

Also, I might have missed something in your OP but are there manpower issues at work that might cause your boss to discourage employees taking time off for a while disregardless of their sick and vacation hours.

At one of my old jobs, we were so understaffed for a couple months that the management allowed only one person to be on vacation leave (unless already arranged) at a time.

 

[Kestra]

I get that you're angry but a lot of the information presented seems irrelevant. I would think that it's about whatever the procedures are for taking time off, and if you're being treated fairly or unfairly under those procedures.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it sounds to me like the answer is no in regards to taking this time off and I'd abide by that. I'd come into work that day with a good attitude, however hard that is, and then at an appropriate time, have a conversation with your superior(s). You will want to clarify what the procedure is for taking vacation days, how this specifically applies to your position since it is unique, and address concerns about your job performance as well as any concerns that you have.

 

[Trekker4747]

It's your PTO and yours to use as you see fit. Hell, you need not give her any reason to why you want to use it. It's your time to use however you want.

As for taking a lot of time off recently, again, if you're doing it with your own PTO time, so what? Sure you might look like a bit of a douche to her and other employees for taking so much time off or for asking for certain days off so often but it's your right. She needs to write the schedule around that.

I don't think I'd go over her head at this point, you don't want to rock the boat but try and to have at least a face-to-face meeting with her at some point. If following that face-to-face you still have issues then it might be time to go to her supervisors.

You live in San Fran, I assume that area is For-Cause employment area or is it At-Will?