It's something I have been lucky enough to have only experienced twice before in my life. My grandmother in 1998 to pancreatic cancer, my grandfather in 2003 to prostate cancer. And on February 6, 2014 we lost my uncle. Now, losing my grandparents was terrible, but this is different. They had lead full lives, and we'd had time to say goodbye due to their illness. Not so much with my uncle. He was only 53.
To make a long story short, in 2001 my uncle Mike went in for a surgery to his back, a routine one that he'd had done 2 times prior with no ill effects. Well, in what they called a "one in a million" turn of events, he was left paralyzed from the chest down and bound to a wheel chair at the age of 41. His daughter, my cousin, was only 6 when it happened so she barely remembers her dad walking. Everything about his life changed because a doctor screwed up.
The insult added to injury was that Mike could still feel something in his paralyzed areas...except all he could feel was pain and muscle spasms. He had to go on pain medication that wound up including oxycontin. Use of those drugs and other effects from his paralysis degraded his health to the point of his being diagnosed with congestive heart failure.
My aunt, who has to be the strongest person I know, was along side him every step of the way as his caretaker. He wasn't able to do much by himself after the paralysis...taking a shower, changing clothes, using the bathroom, getting into bed...you name it, she helped him do it. He never held a pity party, asked "why me?" or complained. His only demand of the doctors was that they teach him how to live this way. And my aunt was there to help him do it for nearly 14 years.
Fast forward to this year...after so many trips to the hospital that the nurses were practically extended family, after many scares and ambulance rides when his blood pressure fell too low or he wasn't able to wake up in the morning...one last trip to the hospital was one too many for Mike and he decided to stop fighting. He was at that point being kept alive by the treatment, and he decided that he would go on his own terms, and requested that they terminate said treatment.
My uncle passed away at 2:50am February 6th, 2014. His wife, son and daughter were by his side when he left this world. I had been in the hospital room the night before with the family, and am glad I was there to say goodbye in his final hours. I spoke and the funeral yesterday, and put together a slide show as a visual journey through his life. Both were difficult to do, but I owed it to him to honor his life.
Seeing my aunt say her final goodbyes to him as they closed the casket, and later when they placed him into his final resting place at the ceremony was so hard to see. It still feels like a bad dream, like something out of a movie and not anything that could have happened to this family. It's all still so surreal. That he won't be at the head of the table this next Thanksgiving...and won't be in our family picture that we take each Christmas. I don't know if it will ever feel real and I don't know how to shake the disbelief and sadness.
It took me a while to be able to write about this but I wanted to share what I could about a man I was proud to call my uncle. While I now wish I had taken even more time to be with him when he was here, I cherish the moments I did have. I'd like to share the video slideshow I made if anyone cares to watch. I think you'll be able to tell what a great guy he was just through the photos taken throughout his life. Thank you all for reading.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQQZUlJTlxY[/yt]
To make a long story short, in 2001 my uncle Mike went in for a surgery to his back, a routine one that he'd had done 2 times prior with no ill effects. Well, in what they called a "one in a million" turn of events, he was left paralyzed from the chest down and bound to a wheel chair at the age of 41. His daughter, my cousin, was only 6 when it happened so she barely remembers her dad walking. Everything about his life changed because a doctor screwed up.
The insult added to injury was that Mike could still feel something in his paralyzed areas...except all he could feel was pain and muscle spasms. He had to go on pain medication that wound up including oxycontin. Use of those drugs and other effects from his paralysis degraded his health to the point of his being diagnosed with congestive heart failure.
My aunt, who has to be the strongest person I know, was along side him every step of the way as his caretaker. He wasn't able to do much by himself after the paralysis...taking a shower, changing clothes, using the bathroom, getting into bed...you name it, she helped him do it. He never held a pity party, asked "why me?" or complained. His only demand of the doctors was that they teach him how to live this way. And my aunt was there to help him do it for nearly 14 years.
Fast forward to this year...after so many trips to the hospital that the nurses were practically extended family, after many scares and ambulance rides when his blood pressure fell too low or he wasn't able to wake up in the morning...one last trip to the hospital was one too many for Mike and he decided to stop fighting. He was at that point being kept alive by the treatment, and he decided that he would go on his own terms, and requested that they terminate said treatment.
My uncle passed away at 2:50am February 6th, 2014. His wife, son and daughter were by his side when he left this world. I had been in the hospital room the night before with the family, and am glad I was there to say goodbye in his final hours. I spoke and the funeral yesterday, and put together a slide show as a visual journey through his life. Both were difficult to do, but I owed it to him to honor his life.
Seeing my aunt say her final goodbyes to him as they closed the casket, and later when they placed him into his final resting place at the ceremony was so hard to see. It still feels like a bad dream, like something out of a movie and not anything that could have happened to this family. It's all still so surreal. That he won't be at the head of the table this next Thanksgiving...and won't be in our family picture that we take each Christmas. I don't know if it will ever feel real and I don't know how to shake the disbelief and sadness.
It took me a while to be able to write about this but I wanted to share what I could about a man I was proud to call my uncle. While I now wish I had taken even more time to be with him when he was here, I cherish the moments I did have. I'd like to share the video slideshow I made if anyone cares to watch. I think you'll be able to tell what a great guy he was just through the photos taken throughout his life. Thank you all for reading.
[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQQZUlJTlxY[/yt]
