Jim Steele, I don't think Sony's claim is that every game on the system will render in 3D after the firmware update, as far as I know it will only enable the capability for games to take advantage of HDMI spec 1.4 (which includes provisions for Full 3D, as opposed to the half rendered/low res frame buffers that Avatar - The videogame rendered at).
As far as I know 3D will be on a case by case basis and entirely up to the developer to code for.
As you stated, there is an overhead, but like your friends pointed out, the same frame will be rendered twice but from a slightly different angle.
Have a look at this
Eurogamer article which you might find helpful. Housemarque, the developers behind Super Stardust HD talk about how they're making the game 3D, it will in fact take a resolution hit, from 1080p to 720p, but the game will essentially render each frame twice (120fps) and from two slightly different angles to create the stereoscopic effect.
Eurogamer also point out that so far Sony's only demoed games that run at 1080p anyway, like Gran Turismo 5 and Wipeout HD, which means the 3D versions will likely run in 720p.
Of course there are rumors that Killzone 3 will also run in 3D, and since the original Killzone ran at 30fps in 720p, you have to imagine that there's a true belief that they'll be able to get a game that looks that good to render the same frame twice.
Lastly, I have no idea why I assumed you mentioned the next round of consoles in your original post, my bad. I sure hope we don't get a new round of consoles till 2013, but I sort of doubt that will be the case.