21st century Nemesis

[Captrek]

Russia is invited to send representatives to Washington to meet the mysterious new American President, a Kenyan Muslim who has usurped the American government in a spectacular coup.

The Russian battleship Predpriyatiya sails up the Potomac and is kept waiting without communication for 17 hours. Finally they are greeted by the President's supership Saifullah.

The Russian delegation, led by Captain Pikrov, meets the new President, Obamzon. A clone of Pikrov who bears no great resemblance to Pikrov but wears his hair similarly, he was created as part of a plot developed by Soviet underpants gnomes. When the USSR collapsed, the plot was abandoned. Due to the unusual circumstances of the clone's creation, he had no birth certificate, making him difficult to explain, so he was exiled to the brutal world of madrassas.

Having completed the exposition, Obamzon and the Saifullah set course for Russia. The plot is to destroy Moscow, provoking a war that will pave the way for the Egyptian Muslim Brotherhood to impose a global Marxist caliphate. The Predpriyatiya sets out to protect Moscow. They are joined in battle by two American ships, one commanded by Captain Hannity, who makes a date with Pikrov for a wodka. The Predpriyatiya rams the Saifullah, Obamzon is defeated, and we all live happily ever after.

 

[Subcommander R.]

If you weren't a fleet captain I'd think you were a troll.

Please tell me this is satirical and you don't mean a word of the underlying opinions?

 

[Dukhat]

That makes about as much sense as the actual "Star Trek: Nemesis" movie did.

 

[BillJ]

That makes about as much sense as the actual "Star Trek: Nemesis" movie did.

It makes less sense than Nemesis.

 

[Peach Wookiee]

captrek, this had better be a satire. But for right now, I'm telling you to knock it off. This is a friendly, not an infraction. Next time, you will not be so lucky.

 

[Captrek]

If you weren't a fleet captain I'd think you were a troll.

Please tell me this is satirical and you don't mean a word of the underlying opinions?

It's a satire. I was having fun combining the ridiculous plot of Nemesis with the ridiculous narrative of Fox and friends.

So... I take it you don't think it would be a good movie?

captrek, this had better be a satire. But for right now, I'm telling you to knock it off. This is a friendly, not an infraction. Next time, you will not be so lucky.

 

[Subcommander R.]

If you weren't a fleet captain I'd think you were a troll.

Please tell me this is satirical and you don't mean a word of the underlying opinions?

It's a satire. I was having fun combining the ridiculous plot of Nemesis with the ridiculous narrative of Fox and friends.

So... I take it you don't think it would be a good movie?

captrek, this had better be a satire. But for right now, I'm telling you to knock it off. This is a friendly, not an infraction. Next time, you will not be so lucky.

*lets out held breath*

Except for the Russians part its got Fox written all over it. I'd suggest you make the Enterprise crew Trump (Picard), Palin (Troi), Bachmann (Crusher), Huckabee (Riker) and Beck (Data).

 

[Captrek]

Perhaps this thread would have been better suited for TNZ, where I frequently express my contempt for Fox News and Obama conspiracy theories, and the thread might have been less subject to misunderstanding.

I was watching NEM last night, and when the Enterprise was kept waiting for 17 hours, I imagined a 21st century analog of the situation and found the image amusing, so I wrote this story redoing the NEM plot with present-day actors and tropes.

I wasn't trying to make a political statement. I was just having fun.

I'd suggest you make the Enterprise crew Trump (Picard), Palin (Troi), Bachmann (Crusher), Huckabee (Riker) and Beck (Data).

There are 10 more Trek films. Maybe you could reimagine one of them with Fox personalities (or whomever you’d like) in the roles of the Enterprise bridge crew. The concept surely has some comic potential.

 

[Subcommander R.]

^

Yes, an interesting thought. I will do this in my ample spare time.

 

[Captrek]

How much time do you think I spent on this?

 

[Potemkin_Prod]

Probably more than the writers of NEMESIS did.

 

[Subcommander R.]

Probably more than the writers of NEMESIS did.

Well played sir.

 

[Potemkin_Prod]

I just calls 'em like I see 'em.

 

[MANT!]

Good post..wrong forum..

 

[Captrek]

Good post..wrong forum..

Like I said, I wasn’t trying to make a political statement. I was just having fun moving Nemesis to the present day.

Who’s a present-day equivalent of a Reman (who’s actually human) taking over the Romulan Empire? The obvious (and funny, I thought) choice is the conspiracy theorists’ depiction of Obama as not American. I really thought my post would engender more laughter than anger. It looks like I called that one pretty badly.

Guess I’ll skip my version of Vulcan being an inside job as demonstrated at findthenarada.com.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

So, did the movie start with Russian dancing??