We are pregnant!

[RJDiogenes]

^^ What did you think it implied?

So RJ when you "feel sad" for someone you call them dismissive negative words, tell them to snap out of it and lament their "negative miasma" to others.

You are quite the peach.

I'm a giant peach. But I did respond to your angry tone with an angry tone of my own, and I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. My only wish is that you have no unhappiness in your life. And that goes for everyone, even my fellow jerks, both male and female.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

You did not hurt my feelings RJ. You shitted me to tears.

These are very different things.

 

[sojourner]

^^ What did you think it implied?

The same thing that everyone else in the thread but you did. That you were saying that her marriage would have been fine if her husband had used a few phrases like that.

 

[{ Emilia }]

You know, there are guys out there who are legitimately good people. They're kind and supportive and are interested in being good partners. They love their girlfriends/wives, and for them, hearing the news that they're going to have a baby is some of the happiest news they could ever hope to receive. They don't say "We're pregnant" because they're seeking ownership or looking to marginalize the woman's physical state. They say "We're pregnant" because they're genuinely excited to start a family, and even though the man might not technically be pregnant in the medical sense, they want to play as a big a role as they can. Sure, the woman has to carry the ball for 9 months, but the man still wants to be a supporting member of the team.

This is exactly how I understand the phrase. I'm a woman and while I think the phrase sounds a bit silly the above interpretation is what I think when I hear it.
To me it's a somewhat clumsy way to state that the guy is trying to be as supportive as possible and that he feels responsible, too. You know... that they're trying not to be like Miss Chicken's ex-husband. More like: "We're in this together."

I'm sorry, I just can't get mad over this. The guys who say "We're pregnant" aren't usually the guys who treat the woman like shit. They usually care. I'm pretty sure most of these guys are well aware of the fact that they can't actually share the biological consequences but that they'll be there for her. I don't see why I should give them shit for choosing a rather clumsy way to express that.

He might sound like a fool, but kind of a lovable fool.

 

[Mary Ann]

Not that I know of, and I've been working in health care for almost thirty years.

...and, scene.

I go away for two days and this thread explodes like the back end of a breastfed baby whose mother made the mistake of eating too much broccoli. Lulz.

Look, for the butthurt males out there, I wasn't implying that men do nothing. Of course they help and support the pregnant woman, or at least they should be. But until you personally have been pregnant, well, you've not been pregnant. Why this straightforward fact is a difficult concept for some people to grasp is puzzling.

 

[Amaris]

That is one hell of a visualization.

 

[farmkid]

What they say is that fathers didn't go through the actual "mechanics" and pains and aftermath of pregnancy, so it's presumptuous to speak of it as if it's something both partners are experiencing. You're assisting, which is good and what you're supposed to do. You're not experiencing it, though.

But I never said the man was experiencing it, nor that the phrase is meant to imply that. Much of the opposition to it seems to be coming from people who insist that the phrase can mean nothing other than that, though. Once again, it's a statement proclaiming family unity, nothing more. It in no way implies that the man has any ownership of it or experiences any of the physical aspects of it.

Okay, but now you know how some women feel about it. So, as I said, you have a choice. You can continue on using it, which is your right.

If you go back and look, you'll note the very first thing I said in this thread is that I've never used the phrase, but I have no problem with it.

 

[farmkid]

Look, for the butthurt males out there, I wasn't implying that men do nothing. Of course they help and support the pregnant woman, or at least they should be. But until you personally have been pregnant, well, you've not been pregnant. Why this straightforward fact is a difficult concept for some people to grasp is puzzling.

I'm not sure "butthurt" is the right term, but okay we'll go with it. We get the concept, but the problem seems to be that there are others who can't seem to understand what those who use the phrase mean by it. By insisting that they shouldn't use it because men don't actually get pregnant and shouldn't be taking credit for going through all the tough stuff, they're slaying a straw man. They're criticizing them for having an attitude they don't have and saying things they didn't say. Yet over and over again when the motivation behind saying it is explained, they insist that men can't be pregnant and can't experience all the associated physical ills, so implying they can is offensive.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

That is one hell of a visualization.

Dave Barry said it best, I believe his analogy was that pregnancy and childbirth are comparable to driving a UPS truck through an inner tube.

 

[Robert Maxwell]

This thread sure exploded!

I've never said "we're pregnant." It's not something that would have occurred to me to say. That said, if a woman and her partner are okay with saying it, whatever. It's not really my business. I, myself, would probably avoid using it, especially if I knew the person(s) I was talking to disliked it. I try to be accommodating. The phrase is not something that personally upsets me but I see no reason to needlessly upset other people with it, so I'd be considerate in any case.

I gotta say, though, "But what about the menz?" is a pretty horrible way to frame any kind of discussion about it. Men can contribute plenty to a pregnancy but let's not shit ourselves about who is really doing the heavy lifting here.

 

[Mary Ann]

That is one hell of a visualization.

Washing baby poo out of your own hair is a parental right of passage. It's amazing how far and wide that stuff travels when baby is nappyless.

 

[Rincewiend]

Not that I know of, and I've been working in health care for almost thirty years.

...and, scene.

The book he wrote:

 

[RJDiogenes]

You did not hurt my feelings RJ. You shitted me to tears.

These are very different things.

And I deeply regret it. I wish I could take it back. I hope you forgive me someday.

^^ What did you think it implied?

The same thing that everyone else in the thread but you did. That you were saying that her marriage would have been fine if her husband had used a few phrases like that.

That's more than a little bizarre. Can you describe the thought process leading to that conclusion?

 

[Deckerd]

I think you should quit while you're behind RJD.

 

[Mary Ann]

Sound advice.

 

[sojourner]

You did not hurt my feelings RJ. You shitted me to tears.

These are very different things.

And I deeply regret it. I wish I could take it back. I hope you forgive me someday.

^^ What did you think it implied?

The same thing that everyone else in the thread but you did. That you were saying that her marriage would have been fine if her husband had used a few phrases like that.

That's more than a little bizarre. Can you describe the thought process leading to that conclusion?

Standard reading comprehension. Can you describe the thought process behind your phrasing it that way? Maybe English is a second language for you?

 

[Taylirious]

[yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=phaJXp_zMYM[/yt]

Link

 

[Alidar Jarok]

The same thing that everyone else in the thread but you did. That you were saying that her marriage would have been fine if her husband had used a few phrases like that.

That's more than a little bizarre. Can you describe the thought process leading to that conclusion?

Standard reading comprehension. Can you describe the thought process behind your phrasing it that way? Maybe English is a second language for you?

I think with the context of the previous post before that one, it was clear that he was saying that her husband was an asshole and not of the personality that would say a phrase like that. I don't think he was saying the words alone would have changed things.

Here was the prior post in case you missed it.

I really do think an objective reading of his post would not have returned the result you said that "standard reading comprehension" would have.

That being said, RJ, your subsequent post was phrased extremely insensitively - particularly when divorced from the context of the first post. It may not be a bad idea to realize that and accept that misunderstandings could occur rather than double down in each following post and get more defensive. I agree that those who say "we're pregnant" are generally not the kinds of people in Miss Chicken's post. I've said before that someone like that would be more likely to say "I'm having a baby" and completely remove the wife from the equation or, alternatively, my wife is pregnant in order to completely absolve himself of responsibility. I think it's useful not to conflate the two groups. But I really don't think more needed to be said than that, particularly about a former marriage neither one of us the first thing about.

 

[RJDiogenes]

That being said, RJ, your subsequent post was phrased extremely insensitively - particularly when divorced from the context of the first post. It may not be a bad idea to realize that and accept that misunderstandings could occur rather than double down in each following post and get more defensive. I agree that those who say "we're pregnant" are generally not the kinds of people in Miss Chicken's post. I've said before that someone like that would be more likely to say "I'm having a baby" and completely remove the wife from the equation or, alternatively, my wife is pregnant in order to completely absolve himself of responsibility. I think it's useful not to conflate the two groups. But I really don't think more needed to be said than that, particularly about a former marriage neither one of us the first thing about.

You are wise and make much sense. I agree with all you said. Thank you.

 

[Taylirious]

+1