TOS Caption Contest #286: Amok Caption

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, time for a new contest!

First up to the plate, we have the "Make it Spock's problem" Award, going to:

Ferris: Should we really be holding three cups of hot coffee over all these controls?
Kirk: You're probably right...let's go over by the science station.

Next, we have the "Guess who's in danger?" Award, going to:

Boma: Wait a minute, we're all wearing blue! Who's going to be the random death to prove that the situation is dangerous?

Spock: Doctor McCoy and I are both in the opening credits.

Boma: Crap.

Next, we have the "What could possibly go wrong?" Award, going to:

Scotty: "I'm afraid we're stranded, Mr. Spock."
Spock: "Not to worry. Here come some of the natives to give us a hand! Big, furry, jolly-looking fellows!"

Next, we have the "Wile E. Kellowitz" Award, going to:

Kellowitz: "I'm sorry sir, the Road Runner keeps getting away!"

Next, we have the "Hope he whispered that..." Award, going to:

BONES: And that's when Latimer got the point.
KIRK: Bones...
BONES: Too soon?

So any great photoshops this time around! So tough to choose! The best I could do is whittle it down to 3 winners!

FERRIS: Quit your bitching, Kirk. Starships don't grow on trees, we need sponsors

BOMA: Guys like us just don't fall out of the fucking sky, you know.
GEORDI: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
BOMA: Beautiful, naked, big-titted women just don't fall out of the sky, you know.

MCCOY: Any sign of the natives, Spock?

SPOCK: None, Doctor. The coast is clear.

McCoy: I'm not so much worried about the size of the footprint, but that it's the only one in the vicinity.

Congrats to our winners and many thanks to all who participated!

And now, lets caption "Amok Time!"

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: You're in big trouble, Mister Spock.

Uhura: (whispering) Be Careful Spock, that pouty face means he's really mad!

Kirk: How dare you, Spock?! You beat my high score in Pong!

Audience: Wow, this is creepy.

Kirk: Bones, do you think the guy behind us looks like that Decius from the Romulan Bird of Prey?

T'Pring: HE stole the cookies from the cookie jar!

Kirk: Emergency Beam out!

 

[Mr. Adventure]

"Really, Spock? Fish in the microwave again? You do realize we have a replicator, right?"

"Spock, I'm sorry, I'll never laugh at your decorating skills again."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Kirk (whispering): "Psst! Hey, Bones! Check out this big, goofy-looking doofus behind me!"
McCoy: "Did you forget about the ears, Jim?"
Kirk: "...Oops!"

T'Pring: "Him, Father! He is the one who keeps trying to get me to go to the 'submarine races' with him!"

 

[Armored Saint]

SHATNER: FOIL? We're beggining the second season and Theiss's already botching the job?

MARTEL: Yes mister Theiss, Shatner talked against your work.

CHAPEL: Come one Spock, do you think it's really bother me that you called me Mom and Amanda during the act?

 

[Maurice]

Next, we have the "Hope he whispered that..." Award, going to:

Thanks for the nod!

KIRK: Mr. Spock. I'd like to see you in my quarters.
UHURA: "Boom chicka bow bow..."
SPOCK: Shut up, Lieutenant.

KIRK: Don't worry Spock. It happens to every little spaceman now and then.
SPOCK: You mean, you've...
KIRK: I said little spaceman.

CHAPEL: So, the carpet DOES match the drapes!

KIRK: Get your hand off my ass, Bones.
BONES: That's Stonn, and it's not his hand.

T'PRING: He said I couldn't get pregnant the first time!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Spock: "Zzzzzz..."
Kirk (quietly turns off monitor): "The English Patient. Works every time!"

 

[AgentCoop]

Kirk:...and he leaps tall buildings in a single bound and he wears a cool cape and he stands like this and he's awesome!

Spock: Fascinating...

Kirk: Look, Spock, I understand the difficulty you're having with this whole Pon Farr thing, but this search history is shocking even by outer space standards.

 

[Duncan MacLeod]

I know that this is not part of the contest, but I just had to drop it in here.

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK:Well?

SPOCK: I'm sorry I yelled at Nurse Chapel.

KIRK: And?

SPOCK: I'm sorry I threw soup at her.

SPOCK: But I don't want to go to school!

KIRK: She's dumping Spock for this guy?

TPRING: He is the baby's father!!!

KIRK: Come on, the "Kirk has banged every alien chick" thing is a total exaggeration!!!

 

[Smellincoffee]

Kirk: You got some 'splainin' to doooo!
Lucille Ball, OS: No. CUT.

Chapel: Go, get thee hence, for I will not away.
What’s here? a cup, clos’d in my true love’s hand?
Poison, I see, hath been his timeless end.
O churl! drunk all, and left no friendly drop
To help me after!
Spock, muffled: Vulcans do not get drunk .Vulcans do not..get...hangovers.
Oh, god.

Kirk: Trial by combat? I can take T'pring.
McCoy: I don't think you'll be fighting the girl, Jim.

T'pring: CAPTAIN KIRK! I CHOOSE YOU!
(cue Pokemon fight music)
McCoy, OS: Watch out for Spock's "Slash", Jim!

 

[Armored Saint]

T'PRING: He didn't get his brit milah!
KIRK: Huh, that's why the guy with the blade....

 

[jep]

"I am your number one fan. There is nothing to worry about. You are going to be just fine. I am your number one fan."


.

 

[T'Girl]

Kirk: "I know the whole pon farr thing has you going Spock, but could you stop jacking off until I'm out of the room?"

Kirk: "I always wear a condom, it can't be mine."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kirk: "Spock! Quickly! How do I say 'manipulative little viper bitch' in Vulcan?"

 

[Armored Saint]

SPOCK: I am the Sleeping Vulcan. I need a naive nurse to hit me!

SPOCK: On your Earth, the salmon. They must...
KIRK: Stop hit Spock, I can't see another damn fish reference in a Caption Contest!

 

[Noname Given]

Nurse Chapel: "Normally, my response would be: Don't worry about it. It happens to every male once in a while, BUT given we only have an opportunity to do this once every seven years..."

 

[huskers57]

Kirk - "Do I even want to know what happened to the apple pie in the crew galley?"

Spock - "Ms. Chapel, please... I have a headache."

Kirk - "Come on Bones.. sing along..."

Well, they'll Stonn ya when you're trying to be so good
They'll Stonn ya just a-like they said they would
They'll Stonn ya when you're tryin' to go home
Then they'll Stonn ya when you're there all alone

But I would not feel so all alone
Everybody must get Stonn'd!

Kirk - "What do those of you at HOME think?"

 

[Armored Saint]

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Stonn: T'Pring, may I ask the meaning of the phrase "Hey, Macarena"?