ENT Caption Competition #94: Intense Looks All Around

[Bry_Sinclair]

The Winners!

T'POL: Hoshi is correct, sir. She could kick your ass.

Archer: I've never seen a Klingon flip out like that

Reed: I wonder if it has something to do with the Tribblization virus Porthos picked up.

Porthos: *whine*

Hoshi: "Tickle tickle tickle."

Phlox: "Oh not my tummy." (start laughing uncontrollably and kicking his legs)

Well we found out how you paid for college, T'Pol, or should I say, T'Pole.

The Specialist Awards!

The Petty Squabbles Award goes to:

T'Pol: "Hoshi keeps looking at me!"
Hoshi: "Am not!"
T'Pol: "Are too!"
Archer: "Enough! How would you both like a time-out!"

The Where's T'Pole When You Need Her Award goes to:

REED: I'm pretty sure this isn't a strip club.

ARCHER: Let's give it 15 more minutes. If no one is stripping by then, we'll go.

The Lucky Vulcans Award goes to:

Trip (snickering): "So, what's this we hear about Vulcan men having two of 'em?"
T'Pol: "That's it myth. I think it got started because, although they actually only have one, it's twice the size of a human male's."
Trip, Archer and Reed (in unison, all grins suddenly gone): "Huh?!"

This fortnights selection, enjoy!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, Bry Sinclair!

Archer: "I know it's a pain in the ass, but that's just the way many human males are. Look, just follow this rule of thumb: If they're looking you in the eye, you're okay. But the lower their gaze drifts, the slower and louder you have to speak."

 

[Nerys Myk]

T'POL: Do not make me go all Kal-if-fee on your ass!

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: T'Pol and I are not speaking to each other. So for the time being, all bridge commands will be given through text messages.

T'Pol: OMG!

Trip: Why didn't our brilliant plan to fool the Vulcan Captain work?

Hoshi: Well, instead of wearing the proper division color, you just added a pip to your uniform. Instead of having me work up a fake visual of the Captain, you did the whole conversation yourself, need I go on?

Trip: I am so screwed.

T'Pol: I know what you are thinking, "Did she fire 5 shots or 6?" Well, in all this confusion, I have lost track. However, the power cell on this phase pistol is rated for 1,422 shots.

T'Pol fires Phase Pistol.

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win!

T'Pol: *insert 22nd Century Vulcan Logic Crap*

Archer: *sigh* Only if I had someone to ask for a second opinion

 

[Triskelion]

"...and then the gazelle stood up on his new legs and joined the herd grazing on the Serengeti tundra...."

I wonder if I could nerve pinch myself?

He's going to make a gazelle speech when our five year mission's over. Gotta find some way to get out of it.

 

[Mistral]

The Enterprise was in trouble-and Trip knew it. With 37 female crew members aboard, they'd run completely out of chocolate.

 

[Nebusj]

``T'Pol, that stupid ice moon of ConnLot VI is the most worthless, hideous, horrible, unbearable ... it's on the monitor behind me, isn't it?''

``I don't know what's wrong with me, Linus. Christmastime is here but I'm not happy.''

``Do go ahead and speak of me as `N'Pol of Vulcan' again.''

``Yes, T'Pol, famous people do have entourages, but you need them to be more memorable people than ... uh ... I'm gonna say `Trevor' ... here.''

 

[Triskelion]

Go ahead. Answer your communicator in the middle of our conversation.

Archer: You had me at 'Live Long.'
T'Pol: Beam me up, Scotty.
Travis: Who?

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Do you feel logical? Well do you, PUNK?!?

 

[Nerys Myk]

T'POL: My thoughts to your thoughts....

ARCHER: Nope, not a thing. Must not be working, eh Travis?

Travis?

Travis?

 

[Smellincoffee]

Tucker: Look, Hoshi, between you and me we never saw Porthos go into the transporter room, OK?

Archer: Look, you green-blooded, inhuman -- oh. Sorry, Travis.
Mayweather ..uh?
Archer: That was racist of me. I apologize.
Mayweather: Thanks? I guess? Wait, why are you apologizing to me and not the Subcommander?
Archer: Because you're bl- aahhh, of color.
T'Pol: I'm so glad the High Command volunteered me for this mission.

 

[Bad Thoughts]

Mayweather: Captain, how could you make us wear matching quilted coats into a biker bar? We are so going to get beaten up.

 

[Finn]

Archer: Have you found Reed and Trip yet?

T'Pol: No, but there's still a couple of bars in the next village.

Archer: ...and you, Ensign?

Mayweather: Aye, sir. Full Impulse!

 

[T'Girl]

Archer: "Now that just the two of us are here T'Pol, there's something important I need to discuss with you."

T'Pol: "Did you want Travis to hear this?"

Archer: "Who?"

Trip (thinking): ** It's only the two of us on the bridge, why can't I just walk over and talk to her? It always look so easy in those porn videos. **

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

I promise I will get a new competition up this weekend folks. They seem to go by se quickly now, kinda blink and you miss it, that I've never had time.

 

[Hopeful Romantic]

If no one is up for taking over the caption contest, I'm going to cut this poor thread loose and let it float away to Valhalla.