ENT Caption Competition #93: [Enter Witty Title Here]

[Bry_Sinclair]

Let's delve straight into the winners:

I am Count Bakula...

Trip: "You know, for someone who only gets the urge once every seven years... wait a second... How long is a Vulcan year?"
T'Pol: "Five Earth minutes. Remove your clothes."

I'm not kidding! I saw the hoo-mon captain giving this creature umax!

Barbarians!

T'Pol: "Tholian sex toys are weird."

Congratulations one and all.

But of course lets not forget the special mentions:
The Archer Gets His Ass Whooped (Again) Award:

C'mon, that Girl Scout was HUGE!

The If Only That Were So Award:

TRIP: These are the new uniforms?
T'POL: Only for you.
TRIP: This is sexual harassment.
T'POL: Sexual harassment is legal on Vulcan. Now you're just sounding racist.
TRIP: Check and mate.

The “All Hail The Hypnobeagle” Award:

Ferengi: "All hail the hypnobeagle!"

The Almost Sounds Like Something Naughty (At Least In My Head) Award:

T'POL: Mmm, delicious.

Now on to the next selection:

 

[Finn]

 

[Finn]

Archer: I've never seen a Klingon flip out like that

Reed: I wonder if it has something to do with the Tribblization virus Porthos picked up.

Porthos: *whine*

 

[T'Girl]

Reed: "What are we supposed to be doing?"

Archer: "Not sure yet, just sit there and look uncomfortable in your own skin."

Reed: "Right, something I'm good at."

Hoshi: "Tickle tickle tickle."

Phlox: "Oh not my tummy." (start laughing uncontrollably and kicking his legs)

T'Pol: "Yes, I cut my own hair, can we change the subject now?"

 

[Mach5]

ARCHER: " "When I was in my early twenties on a trip to east Africa, I saw a gazelle giving birth. It was truly amazing. Within minutes the baby was standing up. Standing up on its own. A few more minutes and it was walking, and before I knew it was running alongside its mother, moving away with the herd."

 

[T'Girl]

ARCHER: " "When I was in my early twenties on a trip to east Africa, I saw a gazelle giving birth. It was truly amazing. Within minutes the baby was standing up. Standing up on its own. A few more minutes and it was walking, and before I knew it ..."

Archer: "...we had shot it, skinned it and were roasting it for dinner."

Reed: "I don't believe I've heard that version before."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Archer: That's a good point, Malcolm. Who DID put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

T'Pol: "Hoshi keeps looking at me!"
Hoshi: "Am not!"
T'Pol: "Are too!"
Archer: "Enough! How would you both like a time-out!"

Reed: "I'm...afraid I'm not reading your body language very well, sir. Are you meditating? Or are your hemorrhoids acting up again?"

Archer: "Hey, T'Pol, we've decided to honor you with an esteemed Earth tradition. From now on, you are the official 'Butt of All Jokes' on this ship!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

T'POL: Hoshi is correct, sir. She could kick your ass.

T'POL: Some how I doubt 100 years in the future, bridge crews will share a laugh at a Vulcan's expense.

 

[Triskelion]

TFTW Bry_Sinclair!

Archer: What did the Ambassador say he was doing for dinner?
Hoshi: Your mom.
T'Pol: She must be an accomplished diplomat in this sector, Captain.

So does Breaking Bad sell meth to the Hulk?
No sir, you're in the wrong series again. Also, this is Designing Women.

Well we found out how you paid for college, T'Pol, or should I say, T'Pole.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

ARCHER: So I just saw the ending to this 21st century TV show Breaking Bad. Can you believe...
T'POL: SHUT UP I'M ONLY IN SEASON TWO!

REED: You know Captain, I don't think that tree funeral dance is a real thing. I think they're just messing with you.
ARCHER: You're right. I wonder how many hits the video got.

HOSHI: Sorry Phlox! That was meant as a friendly punch, I had no idea that's where your genitals are!

ARCHER: Those future people are always bugging us, we need a way to get back at them.
TRIP: I know! Let's write a bunch of history books where I die. That'll really mess with the future people!
T'POL: Come on, nobody would ever fall for that.

 

[Nerys Myk]

REED: I'm pretty sure this isn't a strip club.

ARCHER: Let's give it 15 more minutes. If no one is stripping by then, we'll go.

 

[Nebusj]

``Subcommander, it is not helpful when you make little crybaby noises every time I try talking with Sato.''

``I dunno. I just, growing up, never figured that alien planets would look so much like the lobby of the AMC 25 movie theater in Hamilton, New Jersey is all.''

``And that, Doctor, is why the captain said no pogo sticks in the elevators.''

``And then ... we told Phlox the captain said his no-pogo-sticks rule didn't apply anymore!''

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

T'Pol: Ensign Sato's suggestion of outfitting the bridge with pogo sticks does not make any logical sense.

Archer: Why are there giant pogo sticks right next to my right shoulder?

 

[Mistral]

"What's wrong, sir?"

"This hairy thing behind us just sniffed my butt."

"Well, that's not so-"

"With its tongue."

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Trip (snickering): "So, what's this we hear about Vulcan men having two of 'em?"
T'Pol: "That's it myth. I think it got started because, although they actually only have one, it's twice the size of a human male's."
Trip, Archer and Reed (in unison, all grins suddenly gone): "Huh?!"

 

[Triskelion]

Archer: T'Pol, the Vulcan Academy of Cosmetology called. They want their "Before" wig back.

 

[Bry_Sinclair]

Caption Competition #94 is up now.

Enjoy!