ENT Caption Competition #90: Down Time

[Bry_Sinclair]

Hello all,

I've always fancied having a go at a caption competition, so here it goes. Normally I will be running them from Sunday to Sunday, but seeing as this is my first time I thought I'd give you folks a little longer, entries will be accepted until Sunday 1st September.

Enjoy.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

ARCHER: We must finally be back to our own time.
TRIP (OS): How do you know?
ARCHER: All the colors are oversaturated.

TRIP: Yeah, I'm really into, umm...logic and stuff!
T'POL: You see mother, he's a perfect match.

TRIP: What the...? Oh, hell. What year am I in this time?

ARCHER (OS): Travis, let the writer go!
MAYWEATHER: Not until he gives me more lines!

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: What the hell? You said this was a Niners game!!!!

TRIP: So, I'm guessing separate bedrooms?

TRIP: Jesus, don't they have curtains on Vulcan?

MAYWEATHER: You said the transporter was safe, Tucker!!!!!

 

[LeadHead]

Archer: (whispering) Damnit, Trip. You said there'd be a teleprompter.

Trip: Well, that's certainly the quickest a mother has disapproved of me.

Trip: Where'd you get this bedding? Bed, Bath and Bizarre?

Blonde Guy:..... de....odor....ant..... (Dies)

 

[jespah]

Thanks for doing this, Bry_Sinclair!

Dammit, the minute I mention gazelles, that shuttle turns into a clown car. The entire crew must be in there by now.

T'Mel brought a doctor home to her mother. T'Paya brought a lawyer. T'Varna brought home a rich man. And you bring me this? Oy, where did I go wrong?

Torture in the 22nd century is an all-too early wakeup call and being forced to sleep on sheets that are not 200 thread count.

Travis Mayweather was highly skilled in the ancient North American fighting technique known as noogies.

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for doing this, Bry_Sinclair!

Archer(thinking): "Two hours. I spend two hours looking all over Market Street for where Trip parked the shuttle and it was here the whole time. Damn!"

 

[jazzstick]

Oh boy....

Don't worry mother his life span is half of ours!

I'm laying in something wet!

Merryweather picked up a horrible back sucking Ed Bagley Jr. parasite from Cacazoid 7!

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: Y'all are touch telepaths right? If not, I got the feeling there a big telepathic fight going on right now.

 

[Finn]

Archer: *thinking* What was I thinking? Not getting beat up after getting home?...

 

[Starpaul20]

Archer: What do you mean by 'I can't park there'? I just saved the fucking world!

 

[Herkimer Jitty]

Archer: "-and so we will explore strange new, uhh. Line."

T'Les: "Your boyfriend really should get a bowl cut. He looks like a a damn illogical hooligan."

Trip: "Unh... why can't every planet have a 24 hour day?"

Travis: "Gimme all your lunch money, nerd!"

Nerd: "In my time, we've evolved beyond the need for m-"

[PUNCH]

Nerd: "Ok, ok! Take my wallet!"

 

[Triskelion]

Archer: This must be how Freddy Mercury felt at Wembley.
Trip: You wish!

Trip: Well you pass the Girlfriend's Future Looks test. Next up, the Frigidity test.

I asked for Mister Spock sheets, what's this crap?

Guy: Race card! Race card!
Mayweather: Damn! I almost had him!

 

[Nerys Myk]

Not in the face! Not in the face!

 

[Nebusj]

It's a stadium ... thousands of people watching me ... shuttlepod in front of me ... zeppelins in the sky ... giant toothbrushes hanging over the stadium edge ... man, I wish I could tell whether this was a dream so I knew if I should be embarrassed I don't have any pants.

``So, uh, Mrs T'Pol ma'am I was guessing I could just stay at the 'Y' ... uh ... if it's still called a 'Y' here ... it'd be a 'V' here on Vulcan, wouldn't it? Er, I guess not or else a 'Y' on Earth would be an 'E', so here ... uh ... it ... ... is it okay if I just go out and kill myself?''
``Yes.''

``Wake up, Trip. Wake up. You're sleeping in the linen closet.''

``Sir, you know we have standing orders to punch Conan O'Brien!''

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Archer: All right, I AM the Captain!!!

Crowd: HE IS THE CAPTAIN!!!

Archer: Now...FUCK OFF!

(long pause)

Man in crowd: ... How shall we fuck off, Captain Archer?

 

[Triskelion]

Mayweather: I keep telling Balok's puppet here to stop trying to get the credits to roll!
Man: YOU HAVE EIGHT EARTH MINUTES LEFT!

 

[Nerys Myk]

STEVE ROGERS: Yeah, just wait till I join the army! Who'll be the big tough guy then?

 

[Nerys Myk]

ARCHER: Hello? Hello? Is this thing on? Damn it, Hoshi, Whats the problem....ohh

HOSHI: Fixed, sir.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TRIP: I've no idea what it was we drank or did last night, but it was some crazy stuff, T'Pol.

T'LES: Guess again, Earthboy.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock sheets!
Yes. Spock's sheets. As requested.
Not Spock's sheets, Spock sheets!
Is that not what I just said?
Spock! Sheets!
I know!