TNG Caption This! 316: Brace for Comedy!
- Thread starter LeadHead
- Start date
Alien: These crappy hand dryers are the same in every star system.
Tasha: Wipe hands on pants.
RIKER: You are the most beautiful Batman in the galaxy. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you that.
GUINAN: But Batman was afraid.
RIKER: Yes.
GUINAN: Of Batman?
RIKER: Of Batman. Of what Batman might become.
WESLEY: Uh, Batman—
RIKER: Or that you might think Batman was a line.
GUINAN: Maybe I do think Batman’s a line.
RIKER: Then you think I’m not Batman.
GUINAN: I didn’t say Batman. There’s nothing wrong with a Batman. It’s like a Batman at the door.
RIKER: Then you’re inviting Batman in.
GUINAN: I’m not sending Batman away.
RIKER: That’s more Batman than I expected.
GUINAN: Is it as much Batman as you hoped?
RIKER: To hope is to recognize the Batman. I had only the Batmobile.
GUINAN: The Batmobile can be dangerous.
RIKER: Not this Batmobile. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the Batman and the universe worships the Dark Night.
GUINAN: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, your bat signal may not be able to reach Batman.
RIKER: Then I’ll learn how to fly. You are the bulge in my tights and the bats in my cave.
WESLEY: I don’t think Batman is my style.
GUINAN: Shut up, Dick! Grayson.
[turns to RIKER]
GUINAN: Tell me more about - my Batcave.
Data: Worf, perhaps you should see the Ultraviolet scan before you enter the room.
Worf: Never show me the UV!
Picard: One day you'll be captain, Will. And on that day you will understand the choice between a weak posture and nut wedgies.
Tasha: Why no, I've never seen the episode of Jonathan Creek where the pervy black American pretends to be blind so he can touch up women.
Why do you ask?
Riker: I loved you in that film you did with Ted Danson.
See Wesley, the trick to pulling is to make your bullshit sound sincere.
Data: Ah, so to be funny, you have to have a ridiculous mullet?
Dorn: Hey Mr. Roddenberry, I've got some suggestions on the new script... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!
Spiner: Always knock first, you never know when Gene's doing a casting session.
Dorn: MY EYES! FETCH THE MIND BLEACH!
Picard: Will... Did Tasha do something different with her hair today?
Picard: Just how long is he going to milk that Klingon beauty pageant? Nobody cares if he was good-looking on Qo'nos a hundred years ago!
Picard: "Ensign Ro has filed a grievance against you for harassing her about her Bajoran jewelry. If I were you, I'd make sure some witnesses saw me ragging Worf's ass about that sash before the lawyers get here."
Picard: Capital idea, taking a page out of Mister Worf's book, Number One.
Riker: Cultural identity is the rule, sir.
Comedian: "Wow.. You don't even get little Johnny jokes, you really don't get humor"
Teacher: "Class, what comes after 69?"
Little Johnny: Mouthwash"
Teacher: "Get out"
Little Johnny: Mouthwash"
Teacher: "Get out"
Riker:"Q?"
Picard: "Q!"
Worf: "(Censored)"
Yar: Damn it, Geordi, you're drunk, not Vulcan!
Wesley: I think I should leave you two alone.
Riker: Nonsense, Wesley. Now that you've seen successful flirting, you should witness what happens next, on the off chance you actually pull off the flirting!
Data: DS9 gets Vic Fontaine. We get Joe Piscopo. There truly is no justice in the universe.
Data: I am unsure of the ethical nature of this endeavor, Mr. Worf.
Worf: It is fine. Trust me, even a Klingon finds this honorable.
Data: Honor does not concern me. Committing theft, however, does.
Worf: We legally paid to reserve the room, correct?
Data: Yes. But our contract clearly outlined only use of the room and what's in the room for the night we contracted.
Worf: It's fine.
Data: I disagree, Lieutenant.
Worf: For that last time, Sir, they want you to take the towels!
Picard: Captain's Log, Supplemental. I have seem to inadvertently caught Commander Riker's eyes. He appears to believe we are engaged in a staring contest. Part of me believes I should inform him of the mistake, but a larger part of me wants to beat his ass at this contest. Besides, the Klingon seems to be refereeing and now I feel committed to the contest.
Riker: *to himself* Is the Captain checking me out?
Worf: *to himself* I wish these two would just do it and get it over with...this unresolved sexual tension is...not honorable.
Great minds think alike. I actually prefer your lettering.Ninja'd by the Vulcan Logician
Guinan: "So then, she takes her tongue and gently licks his-"
Wesley: 'fap, fap, fap...'
Similar threads
