TNG Caption This! 311: You will caption and you will like it!

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone! The lightning round is over! Lets see our winners!

Getting "The Coast is NOT Clear" Award, is:

Worf:<Shakes head>
Riker: Data's still on the bridge. Let's go have another martini.

Next, the "Well, that's uncomfortable" Award, going to:

Picard: Here's to the finest captain in Starfleet!!!
Crewmen: .....
Picard: ...what?

Next, "The Trouble with Tribbles and Klingons with Tribbles and Klingons with Tribbles and... okay this went off the rails" Award, goes to:

Crusher: "Yes, it's a tribble incubator. I know you Klingons don't like tribbles, but guess what? You're not the boss of me!"

Great Photoshops this time around, this one takes the cake and the award!

Beverly: Will, are you sure you know the way to sickbay?
Riker: (angrily) YES!

Captain's Log: The unsuccessful random auditioning of members for my barbershop quartet continues

Riker: One bridge, right Worf?

Worf: You're never going to let me forget that are you?

Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

And now, lets go again!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Picard: Mister Worf, when I said: "Fire at Will..."

The moment that Picard realized that somebody added Jalpenos to the Replicator pattern for "Tea, Earl Grey, Hot."

Picard: Wow, this is a bad hangover. Did I do anything bad last night?

Riker: You made Wesley an Acting Ensign.

Picard: Aw, #^$*!

In the 24th Century, if you piss off your upstairs neighbors, they have ways of getting even.

Picard: Admiral, may I request that we increase our speed? We're on a Warp 7 route and our current speed is 5 Miles per hour.

 

[Nerys Myk]

WORF: Why isn't this working?!

PICARD: It's a TV remote.

PICARD: I hope they don't expect me to drink tea all the time. I'm French, after all.

RIKER: Hold off on the meme, its not the right angle!

RIKER: What do you know, the dog was right. There is a kid down here!

JAMESON: You might want to get this chair steam cleaned. What can I say, I'm old.

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

Picard: I told you no children on the bridge Wesley! Mr Worf, fire!
Worf: Delighted, sir!

Picard just loves getting silly on that cranberry juice and vodka....

....however the hangovers don't agree with him.

Riker: What is it?
Data: It appears we've found the plot hole for this episode, sir.

Picard: How long have you been in Starfleet, Ensign....?
Ensign: John Kim, sir. Seventy six years, sir.
Picard: And you've been an ensign all that time?
Kim: Oh yes, sir. But I have high hopes for my son, Harry.

 

[Gepard]

"You guys got a 'Skywalker' up there?"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Picard: Admiral, may I request that Mr. Laforge take over you've had the right blinker on for a distance of 1,000 light years.

 

[Nerys Myk]

SHATNER: I know they said TNG would bury TOS, I just didn't think it would be literal!

 

[R. Star]

^

Haha, a two for one winner!

 

[bullethead]

Worf's worse nightmare - facing an alien whose ass he can kick, but only being armed with a Type I phaser.

Patrick Stewart taking his daily anti-Season 1 script poison rum ration.

Picard: Number One, do you ever feel the universe is conspiring against you?
Riker: What are you referring to, sir?
Picard: That whole business with the Traveler and the boy, damn it!

Maurice Huley discovered first hand that actors don't like bad writers.

Picard: It's quite convincing, isn't it?
Riker: Yes sir, it's a great looking puppet.
Jameson: Fuck you.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, LeadHead!

Picard: "I assure you--in all seriousness--it is a weapon! Now, I suggest you stop laughing and raise you hands like Mr. Worf said!"

 

[Triskelion]

Worf: Wheapon armed, sir.
Picard: <Closes eyes>
Aliens: Wait - what?

Riker: Data, deal with the threat down there.
Data: Activating Caddyshack subroutine now, sir.

Picard: Number One....
Admiral: Do you want fries and a drink with that?

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Yar (sotto voce): "Clumsy oaf."
Riker: "Now, you see, Captain? This is why I don't let you beam down with the away teams!"

 

[Finn]

Been a while since I did a 'shop.

 

[Isis]

Riker: "I see that Lwaxana made it, but her clothes didn't."

Picard: "Just kill me now, Number One."

Riker: "OK, are we all straight on this? We were walking single file, Wesley bringing up the rear. We heard some claps of thunder and looked towards them. When the thunder subsided, Wesley was gone."

Picard: "No problem, young Mr. Crusher has been reprimanded for being such a pushover at the helm, and we'll just take you back to your assisted living colony."

Picard (to self): "Merde. I was having a decent day until this Silver Alert!"

 

[Mojochi]

Thanks for the pick

Picard: Lt. Worf, Ready your razor. Prepare to shave Mr. Laforge's facial growth

Senior Staff: CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!

Stewart: Tell her to give it a rest with the accent. I'm playing a Frenchman, but you don't hear me carving into people's eardrums with it

Riker: That's one big, hairy donut

Jameson: This is a splendid kitchen you have, Sonny. Now how do I set this thing for puree?

 

[Triskelion]

Admiral: Welcome to Enterprise. Welcome to Enterprise. Welcome to Enterprise.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PICARD: Hilarious, Mr. Crusher. Now take off that ridiculous mask and get off the bridge. We're expecting Admiral Jameson any second.

WES (over comm): I sent the Admiral to the bridge. I hope that's okay.

PICARD: Merde!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Jameson: "I started out as a helm officer on the old Constitution-class starships, you know."
Picard: "That's the same class of ship James T. Kirk served on, isn't it?"
Jameson: "Christ, I am so f**king sick of hearing that name!"

 

[shivkala]

Picard: Mr. Worf, loathe as I am to admit it, diplomacy, at least in this case, isn't working. Phaser the sonuvabitch!

Picard: Okay, I'm going to just take a sip of my tea, while you tell me what it is you had to say, I'm sure this delicious tea will only add to the enjoyment of whatever you have to say...

Troi: My mother's pregnant and she says you're the father.

Picard does a spit take

Riker: Sir, the Federation Diplomatic office is on the line, something about you needing to take a course in proper behavior around ambassadors.'

Picard: I guess I can't keep dodging them forever!

Riker: Okay, let's get our stories straight, we just need to all agree that the earth just opened up and swallowed the Captain. Data, you'll be first officer, Tasha, you'll take over Data's job.

Picard: Captain's Personal Log. Everything was going well, until Riker had to make a joke about it not being long before I'm as old as Jameson. I hope he enjoys cleaning all of the latrines on the ship with just a sonic toothbrush.

 

[Holdfast]

PICARD: Voyager reruns again? Mr Worf, change the channel.

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. With cocaine.

PICARD: She's wearing the cheerleader outfit again, isn't she?
RIKER: Yes. I know I shouldn't stare, but...

FRAKES: Look Denise, it's your future career path!

PICARD: Oh Wesley, after all these years I'd have thought you'd realise that I'm never going to promote you beyond the helm.