Data: Standby, Captain. I am encountering the Windows 2098 Blue Ray of Death.
Picard<com>:Ah, the year Bill Gates went supervillain.
TNG Caption This! 309: The Return of Blu-Ray
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Data: Standby, Captain. I am encountering the Windows 2098 Blue Ray of Death.
Picard<com>:Ah, the year Bill Gates went supervillain.
Guinan: Would you like to dump this nerd and borrow my sonic vibrator?
Picard: Triskelion would like to apologize to humanity for that last caption. That is all.
Thanks for the Belly Laugh pick! 
Downloading and Installing Updates. Please do not turn off your Data until complete.
PICARD: What do you think, Counsellor?
TROI: ...
PICARD: Merde, she's daydreaming again. Computer, replicate one chocolate sundae. That should bring her back.
GUINAN: Wesley insisted you have this bowl.
WESLEY (sotto voce): Shhh! She'll guess about the roofies...
TEXAN GAMBLER: I just won the shirt off her back, boy. Looks better without it, don't she?
RIKER: They're charging for internet access? Fuck these guys; we're leaving.
Downloading and Installing Updates. Please do not turn off your Data until complete.
PICARD: What do you think, Counsellor?
TROI: ...
PICARD: Merde, she's daydreaming again. Computer, replicate one chocolate sundae. That should bring her back.
GUINAN: Wesley insisted you have this bowl.
WESLEY (sotto voce): Shhh! She'll guess about the roofies...
TEXAN GAMBLER: I just won the shirt off her back, boy. Looks better without it, don't she?
RIKER: They're charging for internet access? Fuck these guys; we're leaving.
Picard: Oh, great, she's doing that "sensing pain" thing again. Look, I won't blame you if you just switch to another channel for awhile.
"Have you seen my hat?"
Riker: According to this, local activities include the casino, skiing in the subzero temperatures, and dying of boredom.
Picard: "I'm not sure what to make of it, Counselor. Often, I'll be explaining something I would think would be of great interest to one of the crew, and the next thing I know, they're lost in a daydream and not paying any attention at all! For example, yesterday I was explaining some of the finer points of the Prime Directive to..."
Troi (thinking): "Oh, Fabio, yes! Again!"
Guinan: One girl two cups?
Picard: Attention crew! Please be advised that "Synth-Fudge" is not chocolate. That is all.
Data (via telepathy): "I am very flattered by your invitation, but I only date beings who are fully functional, as I am."
Guinan (via telepathy to Wesley): "Well, I had to tell her that you're finishing up a PhD in neurosurgical research and that you're first in line for the British throne. I take money orders, VISA, MasterCard, and PayPal."
Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Of late, Data is neglecting his duties because he was struck by the thunderbolt. I should have surmised that he meant that both literally and figuratively.
Guinan: "You kids better eat fast and 23 skidoo. You don't want to be late for the sock hop."
Middle-aged man: "Keep ya' eye on that filly ovah theah. Ah think she'll be trouble."
Data: "I am unclear as to what you are referring. I do not see a horse in this room."
Data: Note to self. Look up and install design schematics for 20th century technology known as a surge protector.
Picard: You're the ship's counselor. You could at least pretend like you care what I'm talking about.
Guinan: Careful Wesley, I'm getting the feeling this girl's a real beast between the sheets.
Gambler: Son, since you don't seem to have any clothes, spot me a few more chips and I'll give you the rest of the outfit.
Worf: Ah, the KahlessSutra. Close the book, Commander. It is not for the timid.
Guinan: Ah, young love. Cherish these moments before you find out what assholes you both are.
Picard: (Thinking) "Dam Viagra is kicking in early, I've got a major Chubby
Troi: (Thinking) "Ewwwwww!"
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
RIKER: Who the hell is Amelia Williams?
Tex: Well I don't know much about Starfleet women, but if I were you I would have told her to give it back.
"Well dear, I am just so happy to see young Wesley dating again, I'm guessing he's over that whole "it burns when I pee" thing. By the way, come back after closing and we'll make a sandwich. Wink. Wink."
"Tarnation son, you ask him, "Do you have any fours?" then he either hands them over or says, "Go fish!" Then we all take a shot of the whiskey. That's why it's called 'Irish Hold'em'"
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"Okay, Deanna rates you, Worf, a "7." You, Data, get an "8." I GET A "3" WITH "MOMMY ISSUES!""
"Jean-Luc, I'm sensing you're distracted. I'm feeling strong emotions and Commander Riker. Also your craving something. Your Ressikan flute. But not your Ressikan flute. I-I should go."
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